open adoption????????

Angela

Yeah don't listen to 20.

Your baby will already be USED to you. He will know your voice and smell. For the first 3 months he will almost always turn his head towards you when you talk. Your baby will KNOW you are his Mommy!

Don't even think about adoption until you see your child's first smile. You don't even need to find a family now. Even if you do and you think they are the best ones for your child, it is still a crap shoot. The parents could die, lose a job, or get divorce. There is no way of knowing that your child will be better off with them. But instead he is very likely to face identity and abandonment issues.

Furthermore, open adoption is NOT legally enforceable in ANY state. The adoptive parents can close the adoption at any time for any reason and not even tell you about. And there not a damn thing you can do about it.

There is help for you. Get on government assistant. They can help with food, housing and medical bills.

http://64.82.65.67/medicaid/states.html

DevonChaos

Firstly, YES. You can wait. This is a great idea. You will likely find that you cannot imagine life without the baby, and find that things are easier than you expected. Make sure to commit that you are doing this to keep the baby for the rest of your life, and not only behaving like it is a short term thing.

Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. Once you sign the papers, the adoption is only "open" so long as all parties are willing to keep it this way. Anyone can close it at any time with no legal recourse.

If you start to get yourself and your home ready for this baby now, you will have an easier time when the baby comes. Babies really don't "need" a lot of things. I've raised 5 now, and I've got it down to a science as far as how much you need of things. Its actually not expensive unless you get carried away trying to purchase expensive things.

I hope you decide to keep this baby. Congrats, Mama!

smileyface

The first month of your baby's life is hardly anything to go by.
If you aren't sure about giving it up, then you shouldn't.
Your financial situations are only temporary, but your decision is forever.

I still had doubts about giving my son up for months, but a year later I realize I could have never done it. The first year is hard, but once they start communicating it gets easier, and funner :)

Pip

The simple answer is don't make a final decision until after your baby is born. In other words don't relinquish your parental rights until you're absolutely certain what you want to do. Most likely you wont want to surrender once your baby is born and you have started parenting.

Babs

If you think you might want to keep your baby, there are lots of resources to help you out. There are agencies that provide parenting classes for free, and networking to get the things you will need at a price you can afford.

If you aren't 100% sure you want to adopt out your child, then you owe it to yourself to try to make a go of it at home. Just know that you are not alone and there are lots of resources available to help you. It would be helpful if you started researching it in advance before the baby comes. You can start by asking questions at your local library or city hall as they are a good source of knowledge as to what is available in your community.

If you find you cannot manage, and are considering open adoption, you can get information on that as well. sometimes adoption is the best thing, but its importatnt that you are 100% sure of that decision as it will have life long consequences for you and the child. Its important that you are knowledgeable and sure of your decision so you don't have any regrets.

Best wishes for you.

gypsywinter

Why do you and your boyfriend (your baby's father)....want to give your baby up for adoption? Why do you and your boyfriend, as a couple, feel you cannot raise, parent and love your own child? What has set you and your boyfriend, as a couple, on the path of contemplating adoption, giving your baby away?

LindseyTaylor

You can wait until after the baby is born...it's actually encouraged to.

BUT you might want to work on your frame of mind, the "test run" method is asking for trouble. You need to seriously think about what you want before the baby is born...if you want to parent this child then push forward 100% and do everything you can to keep your family together. Where there is a will, there is a way. So much support out there...but if you go in with the mindset of "we'll just see how this goes" then it won't work.

It won't be easy. It WILL be hard. I can guarantee it. But I can also guarantee it will be worth it...but if you are looking for a way out at the first sign of trouble then you will be parenting that baby for about a week.

Decide to be all in! Not just to see how it goes....

Brooklyn

I know that an open adoption sounds great to you, but it will be so hard on the baby. Trust me i am a the child of an open adoption and it has not been easy, i would really have rathered to not know who my biological parents were. Its confusing and frusterating.

rave_babii

You cant just shove the baby of to there real family when you want to go of on holidays or are struggling finacialy..Its a big desicion and responsobility..Think about it and get professionakl advice

LadyCatherine

of course you can, BUT you need to see how this is going to effect the baby.. it is not like it is a shirt you can bring home to see if it goes with the rest of your clothes.. it is a baby..

either you want to keep it or you don't..

20andhappy

i really dont think you are allowed to keep the baby for a month and then see if you want to keep it or not. Thats so mean, why would you want to do that??? It's not good for you or the baby. If you keep the baby for a month then the baby will be use to you and not the adoptive mother and it will be hard for the baby to adjust. You really need to think things throu before you make a decision.

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