Thought I was co-signing on son's car loan, but now realize I am the primary..?

Three years ago my son wanted a truck and asked me if I would consider co-signing for it. Unfortunately, I went ahead and did it. I was told I was only co-signing, but after calling the bank which holds the loan I find out I am the primary. My son told me that someone informed me the day I signed that I was to be the primary, but I do not remember hearing this. Anyway, my 23 year old son has recieved a DUI a few months ago. He also has not paid tolls at tolls booths several times, and then didn't pay his fine. I recieved a notice that my license would be suspended if the fine was not paid. Why because my name is on the title. He lives with me because his credit is bad, and he doesn't pay his bills. He is late on his car payment as well, which I know has hurt my credit. He still go out to bars and sometimes comes home intoxicated after driving home himself. I have gotten on to him about his lack of responsibility in continuing to drive after drinking, but he isn't listening. I want my name off the title of his car, because if he has an accident I know that I will be held responsible. How can I get my name off this title? I can't afford to take over payments on this truck. My son's credit is so bad he can't take out a loan himself on the truck. And to make matters worse since he is late on making his car payments, my credit is shot and I can not even get a loan for $1,000. I am torn apart that my son would treat me in this manner. What do I do without going to the extreme and taking the car out from under him. Then he would not have transportation to work, and would lose his job. I just want my name off the title, and of course I will never again trust my son again. And if he keeps his truck he will be able to move out faster, freeing me from his mooching ways. He lives with me rent free, doesn't help in any way, doesn't even buy a loaf of bread occasionally. But that is another story all together. Thank you so much for taking your time to give advise on how to get my name off my irresponsible kid's car loan..

T. M

Take the truck! If he does not pay any bills,why worry about him going to work? Hes a deadbeat & you are not only harming him by making excuses but wrecking your life as well. Hes a big boy now,cut the cord.

princessmeltdown

Marva, this is not going to be easy for you to hear but you have to face your role in your son's problems. You are enabling him in these behaviors and you share the responsibility for this situation.

Your son is irresponsible, thoughtless and selfish. If he drinks and drives, and causes an accident that results in someone else's death or injury, you could lose whatever you have left, including your house. Then what? Is he going to clean up his act and take care of you? Doubt it.

This young man is 23 years old. He needs to grow up TODAY. Your job as his caretaker is over, and it's time he supported himself. Sometimes you have to let someone hit the bottom of the barrel before they can pull themselves up.

1. Figure out how to get your name off that loan. Contact the loan company. If your company benefits include Legal Assistance, check with them. If that doesn't work, check with your local library. If you still can't get off the loan, take the keys away and give them to someone else to hold so that he can't take them from you.

2. The best thing you can do for him is give him 48 hours to pack up and get out. He is the hole in your pocket and you've allowed it. But if you have made the decision to let him stay, here are the new rules. He has money to go to the bars, so he's got money to pay you. You get 30% of every paycheck from now on. Housing is roughly 30% of your gross income so if his GROSS income is $1000 per week, you get $300 from every check from now on. Don't shake your head, this is not unfair. If he has to find his own place to live, he's going to spend almost that in rent, electric, phone, groceries, etc.

3. Stand firm. A parent's primary job is to teach their children to make good decisions. It won't be easy but it can be done.

Good luck... I'm already praying for you.

Ben H

What you do is the only thing you can do- pay the truck payments and put a "for sale" sign in the window. Then take the keys, and get him a copy of the bus schedule from the internet. You need to get a handle on this as soon as possible, because he will NEVER learn to be a responsible adult until you force him to. I know that it may sound harsh to you, but don't forget the old adage: "Spare the rod, spoil the child". Since he is too old to paddle, he will have to learn the hard, and expensive way.....

phenobulous

i reckon you take away the keys. its not his car, but he is not going to be making the payments anyway. hes already ruined your credit.

if he cant get a job, is that your problem, or his.

stop being the enabler. if he can get drunk regularly, work, and NOT contribute even a load of bread, then he can get his own place, buy his own food, get his own car.

in fact, scratch that. make him pay ***YOU**** the car note. you send it in. make him also pay his tickets and contribute one weeks groceries per month or something. cleans up your credit, and takes care of your cash flow situation a little. make that a condition of him continuing to stay.

dont assume that because he is going to the pub that he is spending his money on beer. his mates may be treating him. my brother got laid off a few months ago and when he goes to the pub his friends buy. hes hardly spent $20 of his own in that place in 4 months.

Kaos

You can place an ad to sell the car/truck. Ask the buyer for a small down payment with terms to assume the loan. The buyer may able to refinance at a better rate later. Then help your son find a place to live closer to his job. Tough Love.

oklatom

Bottom line, the only way you get your name off the car is to pay it off. As long as there is a balance you can't. Pay whatever fines are outstanding to protect your license, then take *your* car and lock it up somewhere. Show your son the door, find out how much is owed on the car (pay off price) and the fair market value. Sell it, after three years on a 5 year loan you should break even.

If he needs a car to get to work, he can go and buy and insure a used car to get him there, or move close enough that he can walk there. You aren't doing him any favors by enabling his life style of having things handed to him. Tough love time dad.

Good luck.

Nick R

I would not pay a thing give them your license and make him drive you where you need to go . This will give him some responsibility.

granma

i feel your heartache. today we seem to put on blinders when it comes to our adult kids. it is hard to accept that they can be so thoughtless when we have gone without and unconditionally loved them. with that said, you have waited a long time to check into the legality of the loan.
go back to the bank and in person. get with a loan officer and go over the entire account. ask them if there is a way to correct the mistake.
you could also contact an attorney or go to legal aid if your finances are low.
next, it is time to boot the kid to jump start or put down some definite rules. otherwise the truck should go: by letting it be repossed or you taking over the payments, etc.
do you carry insurance on this auto or does he?
you really need to go to the bank or an attorney and get some good legal solid answers.
don't get your hopes up of this irresponsible kid moving out from a cushy home and meals. you will need to start acting your role and become the parent here.
sorry for being blunt but wishing doesn't help if you aren't willing to put towards the effort as well.

MSAD

A co-signer has the same responsibilities as the primary. It does not matter if you are a co-signer or the primary, they are both the same in the eyes of the financial institution and the law. A co-signer just means two people took the loan out instead of one.

If you want to get off the truck loan - you will have to have your son buy you out.

If he's not making the payments on the truck - take if from him and see if you can sell it for the balance of the note. (or as close to the balance as you can get). With the payments not being made- the bank will repo it and sell it. They will then hold you and your son personally responsible for the balance of the loan. You will get more money for the truck through a private sale (however, with gas prices high the value of trucks has fallen a lot). In order to complete the sell, you will have to pay the loan off in full because you will have to get the title from the bank to give to the purchaser.

entidtil

I feel your pain but < You are enabling him > You say the truck is titled in your name. If it is you can do whatever you desire with the truck. Sell it and let him get his own transportation.

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