Changing custody agreement.?

George

You do not have an adequate case but you mother does. She is the one that has to take it to court. In my state, KY, the judge goes by what is in the best interest of the child. You don't need photographs. All you have to do is tell the judge that you think that your father is a danger to you. What you and your brothers say is the proof, you do not need anything else. Also in KY, if the judge thinks that a child in mature enough to decide who they want to live with, the judge will go with the child's wishes. This is generally taken to be age 12. In this state your mother would not have any problem getting custody. I hope this helps. Good Luck

simplydelicious

YES PLEASE tell someone your dad is putting you and your brother in danger.
Tell your mom NOW!!!

George McCasland - Papa Bear

Since your father is in need of help, your mother should go for at least a temporary change to joint LEGAL custody, with supervised visits until he seeks and completes a rehab program. Clear, despite his addiction, he want to see you, so use it encourage him to get help.

Start keeping a daily journal of your contact. This can be used as evidence in court, but you need to cut out a headline from the daily newspaper to paste at the top of the page. Don't exaggerate, just stick with the facts. If you try to expound it will diminish your creditability.

Your goal as a developing adolescent heading for adulthood is to do the right thing and not just what's easy. You do need both parents in your lives, minus the problems. Try to fix the problems, and if that doesn't work, than your mother can retain full custody.

Aside from this, I hope that you and your brother are avoiding situations where friends may pressure you to drink alcoholic beverages. You have an inherent possibility of alcoholism, especially your brother. You have to be strong to avoid repeating the patter.

You should also consider joining Alateen.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org

Elmbeard

If you were in England or Wales (Scotland has similar laws), you to to the nearest County Court and ask for the forms for a Section 8 Application under the Children Act, which you can then hand in to the court and serve it on both parents. You might need to see a solicitor (the Citizens Advice Bureau might even suggest the best to find one you can afford, such as through Social Services), who can guide you to your legal position as a minor. Another organisation worth getting in touch with is CAFCASS who would then employ a Court Welfare Officer to produce a Report, which then guides the judge into making an Order.

Basically, the younger you are, the more they take the parents' wishes into account. When you get to secondary age, then the court tends to take the children's wishes in preference to the parents' "in the light of their age and understanding". Since you are 15, your wishes should almost certainly be considered paramount.

What you are applying for is residency. You may also consider asking for an Order for reasonable contact with your father, or ask for contact conditional on you not being driven by him. He may be an alcoholic, and not the most capable man in the world, but he is still your father and I am sure he loves you.

Also be prepared for the possibility that this might provide your father the spur he needs to join Alcoholics Anonymous and go into rehab. If he took up the offer of counselling (which often courts recommend before passing judgement) this may well be what they will ask him to do if he wants to keep his children. How would you feel if he made a serious effort to give up drink?

The other possibility you should consider is that is easy for one parent to turn the children against the other. This is called Parental Alienation, and is all too common. Often the methods are very subtle, such as arranging a sleepover on the day of contact with the other parent, and then make a big scene cancelling it, telling the child the other parent is forcing him or her to stop seeing friends and instead have a boring time in the zoo. Another ploy is to keep a child up late the night before handover, so the child is tired and crotchety. There are so many little tricks - these are often discussed at Women's Groups.

If one parent has a problem (and most adults do), then this is sometimes used as a weapon by the other (usually the stronger parent bullying the weaker). It is usually the parent that has lost the most from the divorce who has the problem, since they are emotionally upset and open to being bullied by the parent who came out well from the divorce: I went down with clinical depression, which I never recovered from; some turn to drink (but I never did that).

Sometimes though, it can be the weaker parent that has as much or more to offer a child in terms of love and life experience, and to cut one parent out just because he or she is being bullied is hardly fair. It is something you may well regret doing when you get into middle age and realise just what you have lost, and realise why the world is becoming a less loving and just place than it used to be.

Phebie

You need to make sure your mother is aware of all of this. It's her job to take care of this situation, and contact the proper agencies and courts dealing with this sort of thing. If your mother is aware of whats going on and is doing nothing about it, she's just as bad! It sounds to me like your father is putting you and your siblings at risk in harms way. My sister was killed by a drunk driver! Do NOT get in the car with him if he's been drinking! This is really sad. He is neglecting you guys. If your mother doesn't take care of the situation, telll your teacher at school. They will help!

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