How Do You Explain To Children That Someone They Love Was Arrested For Murder ...?

I think the answer is dependent on the situation and the age of the child. Im actually in a similar situation: my nephew is 13 now but has been raised by my brother for the last 11 years because his mother murdered his brother. He knows now that his birth mother is in prison but does not know the details of why. He is a very sensitive child and feels that his birth families shortcomings reflect on him so to find out his mother murdered his brother would very well traumatize him. At this point, they are waiting for him to be a bit older or until they feel he can handle the truth. He asks, but they feel it would be detrimental to tell him now and are adamant about staying mum until they feel the time is right.

You must be very careful here. Children ask questions. If you try to give a partial truth like "Uncle Bob did something wrong and we wont be seeing him for a while", you can bet they are going to push and ask why, especially if they are very close to Uncle Bob. You need to be prepared for that. Only you know how much truth this child can handle. If they are very young, they do not need to know the charge of murder. That kind of information could be very traumatizing. Honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to this. Can you imagine how the child may feel knowing the person they loved so much killed another? How can they trust anyone? How can they open themselves to anyone else when a person they loved and trusted took another life? You need to look at it from their age perspective. Let me put it this way: A 4 year old child is excited about Santa coming for Christmas, jumping around with glee and happiness whenever there is the mere mention of Santa Claus. When standing in line in order for the child to see Santa and take a pic with him at the mall, you suddenly say "You know Santa is not real, right?"

Of course, the situation you are referring to is much more serious as it does pertain to a real person/situation but to that 4 year old child, Santa was real. Someone he could look forward to and depended on.

Im sorry you actually have to ask this question and I hope that in all the answers you get, you can come to a conclusion that will best suit you.
Good luck to you.

Stephen K

This is tough, as a lot depends on the maturity level they possess.

also, keep in mind that being arrested for murder is not the same as being convicted of murder.

For the nonce, you tell them that the police have a suspicion of this crime, but are going to give him a fair day in court. However, the laws state that he must get a "time out" until that day comes

Sukotash

"Honey, there's something you need to know. Uncle Harvey was arrested for murder."
Be straightforward, and honest. No need to give brutal details, but don't mince words either. Kids can handle the truth better than a whitewashed lie, or finding out later from someone else who won't be kind. Answer all his questions, and get counseling if it seems to cause nightmares, depression, etc.

Eric P

Be straightforward and honest. Don't tell a lie, which can cover it up for a few years and then hit you in the *** when the
child finds out and loses respcet for you and will not trust you. Explain to him, the way someone would explain a lost pet.
If he is mature enough to handle the pure truth then tell him, if he is not mature, then lay it down in a different manner but
still tell the truth.
Good luck with this..!!

Big Fella

The truth!!!

Lance

I believe it would depend on the child you are telling it to. To reason your thoughts out properly you would first have to imagine how would this child react to such news.

Me giving you advice would be out of place because the nature of the situation that you are in. My only advice to you it to look very carefully to who the child is and then just be honest in a way a kid could understand.

Turok ESPN McPepsi

Hey kids, someone you love was arrested for murder.

Optional: Since they did it, we're going to move far away and never come back.

Optional: Since they didn't do it, we're going to fight for their freedom.

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