How do people survive in Jail/Prison?

His Old Lady

You are not alone. Most people are crying for Mom within the first 24 hours. It's very, very different from what most of us see on TV, and no one can be prepared for the dehumanizing that it does to you, from the arrest all the way through processing. It is particularly devastating for "regular" people who get caught up in a five-second bad judgement arrest, and suddenly find out that they are considered garbage just like child molesters to the people running the jail.

Your medical conditions don't matter, your kids waiting for you at school don't matter, your pets outside in a blizzard don't matter--hey, you broke a law, you got arrested, you are trash with an orange jumpsuit and a number. Forget innocent until proven guilty--You Are Garbage.

And that's just county jail.

My husband has been in federal prison for 26 years. He is the strongest man I know, which is why I'm still waiting. I did some time myself, and know that I couldn't, and wouldn't, do it again.

On these forums, I see all the jokes about soap on a rope, and hear all the self-righteous ******* who think everyone who winds up in county jail for 24 hours should die. Those are the ones who learn the hard way when their own loved one goes to prison or jail. Those are for the ones who haven't seen kids on a 2-year drug charge die after being gang-raped.

The only way anyone can make it and not go crazy is to remain true to themselves. If you cop out, give in, become a snitch, you're gone.

My husband has learned from his experience, regrets what his family has been through, and hasn't quite gone buck-nuts waiting for the parole board and attorneys to release him, like they should have done ten years ago.

While in prison, he's been through a lot. He lost his mother and dad, and a brother. His disabled daughter is unable to visit him because she doesn't travel well and he's 900 miles from where she lives. He hasn't seen her in 15 years, since her accident.

The worst was when we lost our son unexpectedly a few years ago, and I wasn't even allowed to tell him in person. He had to be told over the phone. He also wasn't allowed to attend the funeral. These are things that are almost impossible to deal with on the Outside. Imagine trying to deal with this while living in a steel cage with nonstop noise 24/7.

People do adapt. They learn how to retreat inside themselves, when to get involved (as little as possible), when not to get involved (most of the time), who to trust (no one). My husband had an eighth grade education, but got his GED and now reads a lot to pass his time. Contrary to popular opinion, there are very few programs left in the federal system, and nothing in the way of rehab. Prisons are warehouses, not rehab centers.

I work with a lot of the long-term people upon release, and most are so exhausted. Few are able to sleep more than a few hours each night, and surprisingly, most are afraid to be alone. They cherish things that you and I take for granted, like the ability to choose what they want in a grocery store, when to get up, when to go to bed, or to be able to sit on a front porch and rock. Every little freedom, every choice means so much to them.

So don't be hard on yourself--it's a horrible way to live, you saw that for yourself, and you learned from it. Some people never do, but you know now what freedom is all about. :-)

patricia p

A person is very adaptable at staying alive. I would image a prison of war camp would be much worse. Thank God some of our guys lived thru them.

to Queen Bee: Just because a persons ends up in jail does not mean they are dumb. Sometimes things happen and in a split second you have made a choice that you have to live with. Sometimes it is just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes it is just that you are poor and don't have the money for a good lawyer. Be careful, next time it could be you that ends up being "dumb".

strike_eagle29

VERY CAREFULLY. DID 5 IN THE 80'S. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. DON'T INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH THE CREEPS. WATCH YOUR BACK 24/7. ATTITUDE AND RESPECT COUNT FOR ALLOT. IT DOESN'T HURT TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF THE FIRST DUDE TO GET OUT OF HAND. MAKES THE REST THINK TWICE.

Ã¢?Â£China Ã¢?Â¥ DollÃ¢?Â

Well, most of those people don't have a choice so they just learn how to deal with it.

lifeofthepartyyea

my ex did 6 years. he always said.." you do the time, you don't let the time do you."

troopermurphy154

They eventually adapt to their environment, it's a natural mechanism within people.

SHEILA N

On tax payers money.

crazzy

I went nuts. hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

gablueliner

They eat, drink and sleep just like the rest of us.

Charlotte M

You're normal, don't worry. Jail is supposed to make you feel sub-human, and they've got it down pretty good. Several of the volunteers at our animal rescue shelter are ex-cons, and they were forever changed by living worse than I'd ever treat my animals.

They said, like some of the others, you adapt. You don't have a choice, except to live or die. My guys are all older "stand-up" cons, the ones who never told on others and lived by the older codes. I think that's why they relate to the animals here so well. Most of my animals were throw-aways because they were too old or misfits, and have had to adapt to living with a lot of other animals, including cats and dogs and rabbits and squirrels and some chickens. Natural enemies, but they HAVE to get along if they want to be fed and have shelter.

Men in prison HAVE to get along because the only way out is through the razor wire, which means bleeding out in ten minutes or less.

God bless you, I'm sure it was an awful experience, but like some of the others have said, you learned from it, and appreciate things now. Since you understand, maybe you could get involved with some of the organizations that need your help, especially those for women?

Byakuya

get put in solitary confinement.. it's safer..

The Judge G&E

I would hope i get killed soon in jail.

kimzzooo

they give them things to do, like you know the zippo lighters are made by prisoners.

Asshat McPoop

I highly recommend you avoid prison altogether. You'll be richer not finding out how people survive in there.

pedohunter1488

You were in a holding area, Better behave from now on or off you go to the big house and I am sure you'll be someone's girl in a day or two after arrival.

Blue Steel & Lace

Keep your mouth shut, keep to yourself, and have your family send you soap-on-a-rope.

Sherryn, bless your heart, poor girl. What a terrible experience for someone who is innocent. I am glad it was only 3 1/2 months.

Floyd B

If you don't fight the system & obey the rules, you won't end up there.

If you end up there, you can get by, if you don't fight the system & obey the rules.

Balthazar

Who cares if they are dumb enough to wind up there?

RSWL86

I was in the exact same situation and got convicted of felonious assault and spent a year in prison. For tips on how I survived prison visit: http://www.allaboutprison.com

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