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I want to drop charges against my husband but police are saying i cant.. why??
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I want to drop charges against my husband but police are saying i cant.. why??

i never wanted them to press charges to begin with now im just confused and scared because i wnat things to work betwween us


In Texas and with many other states, Assault Family Violence is a crime against the state. If the victim does not wish to file charges on the offender, then the Sate will file them anyway.

This is a way that has been adopted to curb the battered spouse syndrome. Most family violence cases get worse every time, and in most cases the victim does not want to file charges on the offender for many reasons.

The victim is usually afraid of the offender and has been abused verbally and physically many times before the police ever get involved. The victim will not file charges, because of financial reasons where the offender is the primary bread winner, fear of retaliation from the offender, etc...

So to break he cycle, the State will file on behalf of the victim.

If something occured that was frightening enough or harmful enough for you to call the police in the first place, then in all likelihood your husband broke the law. The police will proceed on that basis. It's not about what you want at this point, it's about the laws of the land pertaining to assault.

You should be aware, your desire to get back with your husband despite whatever violence or threat of violence has occured between you is classic battered woman behavior. The police will not accede to your wishes because you are not capable at this time of making rational choices where your husband is concerned.

Many women do precisely what you are doing because they love the person who is abusing them, and think that somehow it will all work out. It doesn't. You can be desperately in love with a batterer right up to the instant he kills you.

The police see this all the time, where they will be called again and again over time to a household where domestic violence occurs. They are doing what they can to protect you, not just from your husband, but from yourself.

Without more information, it's difficult to tell why the police will not allow you to drop the charges.
- I have heard from respected sources that in the case of domestic violence particularly, the charges do not always have to be pressed by the victim. You can always check with legal aid. They are usually happy to help with free information.

Sometimes, if the offense is considered serious enough, the city or the state picks up the charge, i.e., instead of "Jones vs. Jones" it'd be "State of ___ vs. Jones." Then, even if you drop the charge, the state is still prosecuting, and they may want you as a witness if it goes to jury trial. At that point, you are free to choose whether or not to testify against your spouse, if you choose not to, usually, there will not be enough evidence to prosecute and the case will be dismissed.

Poncho Rio
at a certain point it becomes a crime against the state. the reasoning is that you just can have the cops coming in to protect you at your disgression. you just don't realize the number of time a domestic dispute is called in and no one wants to press charges. well that costs a lot of money to keep coming back to the crime scene for no reason.

why is that u cant?
tell us more

Even though you're probably getting bored (or frustrated) reading so many answers or opinions, I will venture forth with a Calfornia perspective on that subject matter. Patience please.

About 15 (or more) years ago, things changed dramatically in the way police handled domestic violence reports. It used to be that officers tended to resolve the call by just sending one of the spouses - usually the husband - to some other place to spend the night so that tempers cooled. A report may or may not have been taken. The wife may have wanted to press charges at the time, but they mostly wanted to drop charges the next day.

Women's rights groups and advocates for women victims of domestic abuse lobbied heavily for law changes and police procedural changes. They insisted that the abuser must be arrested as a means of stopping abuse. The police (at least in California) are now required 'by law' (and punishable as a misdemeanor if they do not) to arrest the abuser if certain indicators are present when they arrive at the scene - such as any marks, bruises, etc. Even if the wife does not want to press charges, and even if the officer would like to accomodate her wishes, he is legally not allowed that choice. Husband must go to jail.

The prosecutor is part of the same process and it's not a 'legal' option that he has to dismiss a charge later, only because the other spouse requests it. Dismissal would have to be based more on evidentiary reasons, not involving the victim spouse personal preferences or even refusal to cooperate.

That's the history of it. That's what influences the answers that the police are giving you now. They don't have the option of making that choice either.

There's a wealth of related information on-line regarding the same subject matter, and even more from the perspective of women's group activists that exist to protect the victims of these offenses.

I believe in most areas, if there is evidence of domestic violence, the police office has no choice but make an arrest, regardless of whether the victim files charges, or not.

If this is a domestic violence crime, you can't drop charges since it is not you that are filing them but the state.
Most states require an officer to arrest any suspect in domestic violence if there is evidence that it occured, Even if both parties swear it never happened.

Normally the women is the victim and she is abused to the point she things she deserves it, or he is so brain washed she beleives she loves someone who is punching on her.

So they press charges to protect the women from herself.
The do it for the good of society.

The male / female can be reversed in some cases

Barry DaLive
Domestic violence right? In most states YOU don't make that decision and neither do the police.

is it domestic violence charges ? sounds like it and you can't drop it because the state's have taken away that power to protect you for the very same reason you don't want him charged. oh it will work out, he will never do it again, he was drunk and i was nagging him, the list of excuses go on and on i have heard just about everyone of them ... if you call 911 to report it then be ready to follow it through.

bush deathgrip
some crimes are not up to the victim, laws are written like that to ensure serious offenders arent let off the hook

Lori H
Domestic charges can not be dropped by the other spouse. If there is obvious injuries to 1 or both individuals Law Enforcement is required by state statute to make an arrest This is called a cooling off period. Too many times in the past a spouse has dropped charges on the abusive spouse then later come up dead.

If he hit you "on accident or not" it is not uncommon for them to refuse it. They may even set you up with a cousilor. If it was something trivial then get a lawyer and formally drop them.

Why is it you want to drop the charges-has your man threatened you that he will do something if they arent dropped-honey, I went thru the same thing-I had no choice but to deal with my state-I even told the judge presiding over the no contact order hearing (whether or not to quash it) that I felt I was in danger-and I was right-5 days after the judge told me the no contact order would stand-I was raped in my home-the cops looked the other way when he returned home because of what happened to me-so if there is a no contact order-he can come home-because the cops have better things to do than put your home/work/or school under surveillance just to catch him

If it was battery related or any kind of misdemeanor then they won't drop it. It's still considered breaking the law and ofcourse the law was involved so you'll have to face it in court. You can have your say in court and the charges may be reduced.

You cannot drop the charges....especially in domestic violence situations it is the prosecutors job to prosecute the case....the police were called....there was injury to you....its a crime.....all too often we go through time involved investigative processes to protect the victim who only later decides they are in love....its unfortunate that this may affect your relationship but it is the DA's job to protect the citizens.

"The domestic abuse law is NOT TO PROTECT THE WOMEN, but is just a way for the cops and the ditrict attorneys to get a good record and be promoted." That is the most unsubstantiated babble I have EVER heard....bwahahahahaha!!

rick s
Don't listen to the police. The only thing worse than a child molester is a cop. Too lazy to work, too timid to steal. You need to go directly to the District Attorney's office and find the prosecuting attorney for that particular case. They will advise you as to all of your options and which avenues to pursue for each.

Well, there are a lot of answers, and I am sure everyone meant well, but what they didn`t tell you is that once the police gets involves, they just want to have an arrest on their record, just as the ditrict attorney wants to have a conviction on his record, they DONOT and NEVER will care if your husband is guilty, or not, they will press it. DONOT take a plea bargain, and when you goto court make sure you explain everything to the Judge. If things still don`t go in your favor, don`t give up, appeal the decision.
The domestic abuse law is NOT TO PROTECT THE WOMEN, but is just a way for the cops and the ditrict attorneys to get a good record and be promoted.

My husband and I got in a fight about 10 months ago and just today they showed up at his sisters house to arrest him... Well we are back together and he is not abusive any more. We attend a church and there was alot going on when all that happen. What is the best way to clear this up and how is it possible they just now started trying to take care of something that happen 10 months ago that we didnt even know there was a cae on?

I called to 911 and accused to my husband to hit me and broke my cell phone. (I live in Arlington VA) We have a little daugther and everything happened in front of her. I was crying and confused. the police gave me a proteccion order for 7 days and I told the police that I was afraid because my husband has depression and that I only want to talk with him but the police officer said that it is to late. Now we have court in nearly three weeks and I would like to drop the charges but I dont know if I have to go to the day court or what to do. Help me please! the police took many pictures of me crying and of my phone. I dont want to my husband in jail, my daugther is very close to him and she needs him.

If you want to protect your husband/wife and drop charges, make sure to go to District Attorney and convince them why do you think that it will not happen again. You can convince them through telling more about good sides of your partner and what happened was just a natural small argument or something else that does not show your husband as a violent person.

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