Testifying tips for a 13 year old?

My parents are having legal problems, they will eventually get divorce and eventually one of them will get custody of my brother and I. It's a very long story, but what it all comes down to is that on the 25th I will have to give a testimony to my mother's lawyer and a few other people against my father. I will not have to testify in court; it will probably be in a private room or something. However, my testimonial will be significant in deciding where which parent gets which child (or both or none).

I know what I will say, but does anyone have any tips for how I should act, how I can be calm, and how I can convince the people I will talk to that I am telling the truth (I will be of course...)? I am 13 years old and I have never had any experience with this.

Also, sorry if this is in the wrong category...I didn't really know what to put it in.
Additional Details
I would also like to say that at this point I have no ties to my father, no emotions toward him except for hate and anger, etc. I do not love him in anyway and I know that may seem monstrous but I'm pretty sure it's true.
As a result of this, I am concerned whether or not the court will decide to give him custody of me. I want to do anything to prevent that from happening.
I will be testifying against him for emotional abuse, neglect, symptoms of a possible mental disorder, and signs of possible drug use.

Sparky

Wow. Well written for 13.

Sit up straight, look people in the eyes, speak clearly, speak with conviction, and answer only the questions asked. If you don't know the answer to a question, say so. Don't try to say what you think they want to hear.

barbadenieve

It is a real shame that your mom and your mom's lawyer want you to lie against your dad. That lawyer needs to be arrested.

I am Me

Awww thats awful. Just tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Dont try and act differently, just be you and nobody will doubt what your saying. Good Luck x

Chasidy S

Hey don't worry, just tell the judge how you feel. He will listen to you. I am going through a custody battle for my step children. Our lawyer told us that were the kids want to live is only 1 of many things the judge will take into consideration. If your dad hasn't been there for you or seen you in a while, chances are your mom has it in the bag. Don't lie, just say how you feel.

Lela A

Legally you should have a child advocate represent you in this matter....one of your parents should request this for you

rann_georgia

This is a rather sophisticated question for a 13 y/o. At first, I thought this was a question asked by someone that wasn't 13, but after reading it, I think the possibility of it being from a 13 y/o is likely.

I'd say, just be yourself. Don't throw any knives, figuratively. Don't try to paint your father in a bad light or your deposition will be discounted.

I have doubts that the testimony of a 13 y/o will weight heavily on the outcome of a case like this. I would say, play it low-key.

Kirstin F

my little brother had to do this when he was 12. So, here's what I said to him:
- If you're nervous, it's ok. It's expected and won't count against you
- try not to figet
- look the lawyer in the eye, if you find that too intense, look at the spot just above the bridge of the nose.
- breathe! Take deep breaths to calm your nerves
- If the question is ambiguous or you don't understand, ask. Far better you answer the question asked than have your
words misinterpreted. it doesn't mske you look stupid, it shows maturity and confidence to ask for clarification.
-Don't try be something you're not. You're 13, they don't
expect you to act 30!

Good luck. If you tell the truth in your own words you'll be
fine. Don't try to dress it up, or it sounds forced and like you've been coached. Coaching is the main thing your dad's lawyers will look for (being rehearsed as if not your words but you've been told what to say by your mum or her lawyer)

My brother situation was the reverse of yours (but almost exactly the same reasons) our father ended up with custody. An interim arrangement at first, then permanent.

Edit - sorry but workaholic's advice is exactly what I meant about being coached. Your Dad doesn't gave to have been
terrible all the time, and no-one is going to believe he was, there must have been at least one nice time or your mum wouldn't have stated so long. forced tears will just make it look like a huge act. Stick to the truth, no acting. I forgot to say earlier, Smile if you can and if you need a break to calm
down or get yourself together say so.

Good luck. we're in Scotland where 12 year olds are legally competant but all over the UK your wishes have to be taken into account. If you really don't want to stay with your dad say it. Don't act it or imply it in stories say 'I'd rather stay with mum because.....' there will be a point where you're asked which you want to stay with. Sounds like you have good reasons to give not just 'I want to be with my friends'.

Shann xx

I'm sorry if this isnt a good enough answer, (plus you've just sed this) you should just speak the truth and just try to think of it as not such a big deal, im sorry to hear about your parents, it must be heart-breaking, my parents split up when i was tiny so ih dnt really affect me, again im SO sorry, good luck with the testimonial

Workaholic

Firstly, when giving a testimony, make sure you know everything you are going to say. DO NOT MAKE IT UP ON THE DAY.

Also, ensure that there no grey areas, or elements of doubt. What you say has to be concrete solid.

Your father's solicitor or barrister will be looking at every word said very closely to try and use it as evidence to give him custody. Do not say things like: he was alright and do not mention any good occasions.

You have to be consistent in saying he was a bad father.

Think about the solicitor etc. and what they are looking for.

Keep it close to the truth so there is less chance of finding lies.

Remain calm at the start and speak confidently and clearly. At the end bring on some tears (crying) if you can, it is obvious then that you do not want to be with him.

John S

Whichever one you don't want to live with, say that they did naughty things to you.

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