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Would you have your step-son arrested?
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Would you have your step-son arrested?

My step-son stole and pawned my wedding rings. Our friend who is a detective wants me to file a report and have him arrested. More because he is starting to steal from others. He's 18, so this will be on his record. Would you do it. My husband and I are thinking we should but are very scepticle. What would you do?


    




343 Remember
Rating
This is a very delicate situation. Some people steal to steal... others steal to compensate for something else. I am not the type to just defend; however I also feel very strongly about punishment befitting the crime. I would strongly suggest filing a report. Unfortunately irrespective of the reason - a consequence HAS TO BE DEALT.

All too often we want a punishment; however we do not want it to last forever.. and I understand that - yet, it is probably more of a punishment to let it go. I am not saying you are business as usual; however neither you nor your husband can provide the 'hard knocks' education that this young man needs a taste of.

It is hard to do, yet at the same time.. this may be the little 'wake up' - it could also make him more bitter etc. yet you did not steal from him.. he stole from you, that is a crime and therefore it should be treated as such.

I do not feel that he should be condemned but you need to address this and in actuality you need to make the report and from there you need to step back. While he may not have considered the consequences OR did and thought you would let it slide.. you need to send a message.

I am a hard believer in do the crime do the time; however I am also one that does not feel that we need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You will want to be firm and once you make a decision - leave it.

I wish you strength, this will not be easy; however easy is not always the best course. I do sincerely hope your step-son turns around;and I do not necessarily think that this arrest will turn him.. but it will let him know that stealing is not ok. It's an uphill battle.. but I encourage you to walk with your husband hand in hand up that hill.

I wish you well!


BDZot
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If you don't, you'll be encouraging him to steal again.


Loris Ann
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Absolutely!!!!!!


♥FearlessPrincess♥
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turn him in!! if u don't that will show him that wat he did was perfactly ok


John C
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Yes, I would have to file it. Hopefully it will give him a wake up call and turn him around a bit.


Yep
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Jail him


★ LesbianLucy ★
I say personally it'd be a hard thing to do, but I'd rather him learn his lesson now with the smaller things than end up stealing cars or something and going to prison for years!


Sean
I think it would be better for him to be arrested at this point in his life so hopefully he will learn a lesson before he does something much worse and ends up in prison.


Angelluvsu
YES... who knows who he will steal from next! He could get shot if its in the wrong persons home!!!


Emu Non Grata V1.5
Without thinking! He's an adult now and from the sound of it he's got other issues as well.

Let the cops handle it.


WJ
Sounds like he may need it.


wish I were
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He's an adult and should pay the consequences of his actions! Sorry, but I'm a firm believer in tough love!


ohiofirefighter42
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id file charges.....next victim will be your neighbors and relatives....if there are no consequences why would he stop?


regerugged
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Sounds like your son has a problem. Tough love is tough, but he should be punished. Sign the complaint, please. When he sees that he can get away with things, chances are he will get worse.


Angelus2007
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He is a theif and a criminal. I would have him arrested. It will only get worse, for those he steals from, and for him. What if he decides one day to rob someone, and he attacks them, and worse, kills them? Would it be better for him to get a small sentence now and maybe reform, or do a worse crime later, and do more time?


яøхч✿ ツ
Rating
he's 18, he knows right from wrong, but doesn't care, but not calling the cops on him, you encouraging him. By calling the cops, you are showing him what he did was wrong, and he has to suffer the consequences. If you can't do the time then don't do the crime!


Bob1239955
You should definitely talk to him about it...tell him you know he took it and explain what will happen if he does not return what he has stolen. He may be on drugs because it is common for drug addicts to steal from people they know to get money so they can get high...you have to talk to him...if he is unreasonable then you might have to file charges...but leave it as a last resort..


Songbyrd JPA ✡ Jewish Lawyer
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I am guessing your stepson has a developing drug habit also. He is a thief. You are a victim. I would file a report for tow reasons, one you can get the rings back from the pawn shop for what they paid the stepson, and two, if you let him get away with it, it will cost you much much more.


Stephan M
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I would try to sit down with him and find out what his motive was and make him work for every penny he owe you. Everybody makes mistakes but that is not the problem it becomes a problem when a person repeatedly does the same mistakes. I would give him a change because he maybe has other issues that driven hem to do so.

Something similar like that happened to me and I didn't call the Police and it never happened again I wouldn't trust him make him earn it back at the same time I wouldn't take any kind of slack from him.

You have up to 1 Year to file a Police report


Carl_the_Truth
I would have him arrested. Once a thief, always a thief. He needs to learn he can't get away with it forever, and the sooner the better.


Vaughn
Yes. He's 18. He should know better. You can already see that he's becoming a danger to others as well. It's your duty to get him help--and unfortunately, not enabling him is the first step in that.


andrea.force
Why is your stepson stealing from you and others? My stepdaughter used to steal from me. I didn't know at the time, but it was to get money for alcohol and drugs. She's now out on the street, a full-blown alcoholic and drug addict. I wish we hadn't been so blind when she still lived with us. We might've been able to get her some help.

Other signs of drug abuse for you to look for: Lying, doing poorly or flunking out of school, not being able to hang onto a job, poor driving record, sleeps all day/up all night, runs with a different crowd than he used to, glassy eyed, alternates between full of energy/extremely tired and is rarely on an even keel, etc. You get the drift.

If it's substance abuse, offer your stepson a choice. Rehab or jail. It's the most caring thing that you could do.

You might want to speak with someone with a background in this, like a family counselor with intervention experience.


booger0819
you betcha


island3girl
Are you sure he did it and if so how?

But, yes call the police. to not call the police is sending him a message that he does not have to be accountable for his actions. he needs to learn that there are consequences.

in court you request he be given community service or be required to repay you for the rings and court costs.

additionally, as long as he remains in your home, i recommend you buy a safe and store your valuables in it

it is a shame that as parents we try to teach our children how to do the right thing, but ultimately it comes down to THEIR free will and choices that they make. It is time for tough love for him and hopefully this will snap him back to reality.

Dont forget to let him know that even though what he did was wrong and you are hurt by it, that you still love him.

good luck to you


Blues
If you don't, you will be enableing him. He probably is doing drugs and needs money. Next he will be stealing from strangers & could get himself killed or kill someone. Stop it now and maybe you can break this pattern & he will wake up and get the help he is screaming for.


Emma (:
of course u shud!!
it will be painful for u but he HAS to learn his bloody lesson


~~~~
Rating
Turn him in NOW.Teach him his lesson dont feel bad for him hes stealing what if he wasnt ur step son and did this you would turn the person in right.same thing.do it b4 he steals from someone and gets shot,and killed.i know if a theft came in my home and stole from me i would shoot.Do it b4 its to late seriously.hey i turned my own b/f in for doing bad stuff and i didnt care u get what u deserve.


Robert S
The only reason your skeptical is... he is your "step-son"

If he were anyone else ? What should be done then ?

Clearly, he has problems.


Bridget
Yes, definitely. He is a thief. If you were the other person in this situation and had something stolen from you by an unknown person, wouldn't you want them caught? You are doing the right thing by turning him in. If you don't, it will get worse. By turning him in you are giving him a chance to learn from his mistakes and start anew.


JJ
Just make sure your husband(his father) is ok with it! If he is unsure then dont do it! It might seem like the best thing to do but that is a hard decision for a parent to make!! And you dont want to wind up being the person to make that decision and it ends up hurting your marriage. Ive been in this situation! I could not do it, as a parent I could not force myself to put him in jail. Its so hard!!! I feel for your husband. Sometimes doing what seems like is the right answer is the most difficult. I was very resentful when the step parents involved were angry at me when I decided not to press charges! You dont want to put yourself in that situation, if he continues to act like this he will end up in jail and you will have nothing to do with it! Just make sure you have a 100% support from your husband before doing it


California Street Cop
You're not helping him out by standing by and doing nothing. Ever watch the show intervention. Your lack of action is giving him the help he needs to dig his hole.


michelle
I have been there and have not prosecuted. I wish I had but his father was not supportive. Now he has stolen majorly from us and I have no recooping ability. I am so tired of him stealing from us. This time dad refuses to do anything again. It is ruining our relationship.





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