Am i the only one?

Gary D

He's hiding something from you that he's embarassed about...could be lots of different things: debts, bad spending habits, drugs, alcohol, cheating, gambling, etc.

I've seen this before in domestic disputes. If he can't come clean with you, then you probably don't have a healthy relationship with him. You two probably need to have one of those all-nighter conversations where you're both being honest to each other about your fears, concerns, and create a plan to get out of the mess he feels he's caught up in.

Again, if he can't or won't come clean with you, then I'd dump him. It won't get any better. It'll only get progressively worse. d:(

Chantilly

No you are not the only one. I suggest leave now before it gets worse.

DonPedro

you are not alone

beez

His problem is not only lying. Sounds like a lack of trust and communication. If he can't be open and honest with you and you don't go ahead and check the damn*d mail when you want to, a marriage counselor might be able to help.

gomanyes562

He seems like a very controlling person. I suggest you either leave or see a marriage counselor.

butterfliesRfree

I'd get out of that relationship. My son (oldest one -- younger one is great) is a liar -- he'd lie about it raining out when it's not......he's a drug addict -- a very common sign -- lying with no purpose. You need to get away from this mess.

Veronica

you should not tolerate his behavior. i'm sorry if this is too blunt, but he's taking advantage of you. i think you should stand up to him and if he can't give a good explanation for the way he has acted and sincerely promise he won't do these things again, you should leave him. Don't sell yourself short, you deserve someone who will treat you right!

Good luck!

:-)

pink!

get rid of the bum - lifes' too short
who needs that??

Jessica C

Wow...hearing about this kind of stuff hurts. :'-( I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't possibly understand, but I'll go ahead and try to help. I'm sorry, but all I can say is what I would do, and hope for the best for you.

If you haven't already, sit down and talk to him about it. Why does he do it? Why can't/won't he tell you that kind of stuff? And if you have done that, or it just didn't work, my next piece of advice would be to go to the post office, get a post box (preferably without your husband finding out) and have them just direct deliver all your mail to the box. While your husband is wondering where the mail has all gone to, go to the post office, pick it all up, and read through it, and discuss it AGAIN with him.

Honestly, if this doesn't work...I have no idea what to tell you.

Again, I'm sorry, and I hope this helps. :-/

bneffer2

Yep. Tell him this stops now or your are gone. And make it real! Even if you have to grab what you can and so stay with someone this weekend. That's unacceptable.

Patti W

Oh my, if they lie about simple things, what else do you think they lie about? It sounds to me like you have a father rather than a husband as far as the controlling he wants over you. Please speak to someone in a womens center. You have to be yourself. I lived that life for 17 years, and I got out. If I left the house, he had to know where who when why and how....He would tiem me to get to someones house and call to see if I was there, then I HAD to call when I was leaving...Don't let me be a minute late. But did he ever account for his time away, of course not...Please talk to someone. If you don't know how, contact me, I will help you find help!

â™¥Jelly [20080806]

Have you talked to him about lying?...you should really let him know that in order to have a healthy marriage relationship, trust is needed and you can't trust him if he's always lying, and he has to trust you to check the mail, and do what you wanna do, otherwise, he is too controling, and that will never work out in the long run.
Hope this helps : )

FILOMENA M

I say dump him.
but first you two need to talk about whats going on.
you should see a relationship councler to see what is happening with you to.
BUT YOU TWO SHOULD REALY TALK!

i bet you aren't alone =]

Janine W

Unfortunately, you're not the only person with a spouse who habitually lies to them and tries to control them. This is clearly a bad relationship for you. The first step I recommend is establishing a bank account that he does not have access to and depositing your earnings there. You can then provide money to the joint bank account from there to control your own income distribution. When you say, "he decides," what do you mean? If it's your page and your account, how is he controlling who is on your myspace page? Is your husband simply a controlling personality or is he physically violent with you? The second step I recommend is seeking counseling. Whether you decide to stay with him or not, you need to be in control of your own life, making your own decisions of how you spend your time and money.

Kelly S

Here's a tip: Leave. The guy's an idiot.

*â™¥* Chamomile Tea *â™¥*

i doubt that u r the only one but i have one better 4 you...(it is supposed to maybe cheer u up a little bit....)
this guy i know has a friend who is paying child support for his two oldest kids, and his wife gets the money from him, and is supposed to take it to wherever the child support enforcment place is...anyway she some how was able to give him fake recipts so it looked like he was paying the child support..in reality, he wasnt the new wife has been pocketing it, and he has been put in jail twice this yr bc of it..his parents have had to bail him out, and pay the amount owed ( and they are more then 10k in total...and thats not including the previos times the wife has done this...pretty funny, the idiot should have learned from the 1st time it happened..LOL

low_hd_rider

sounds like he's screwing around on you behind your back

VOLLEYBALLY

Get out before something really bad happens. He obviously cannot be trusted and women who stay with men like this often pay a big price later. His controlling ways are a big red flag.

Stringa B

Life's really short. Don't waste it on trying to change grown folks. You can not only God can. When it time they will but you don't have to wait for them. If you like the fantasy life hang in there.

Good luck!

Cindy

You are not the only one, read on: My ex husband used to lie like a rug, he was the king of the liars. It drove me crazy.

It didn't matter to him what he was lying about or to whom he would lie. As I stated it was horrible to have to live with.

He was also an alcoholic, so it was even worse.

I finally divorced him after 13 years, I couldn't take it any more. It seems to me that when a spouse lies to you then you don' have much as far as honesty goes.

I often saw him lie to his own mother, it made me sick. It didn't matter to him what he lied about, he did it just to do it.

It gets old, really fast. Believe me if you have children you don't want them to have to be around some one that is doing that. You don't want you children to grow up thinking that it's alright to lie.

God bless, I hope that this helps you know that your not the only one who is or has gone through it.

oldknowitall

Both of you need to stop lying and be responsible adults. If you are old enough to be married, you just have to stop this stuff!

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