Angry father trying to take kids because of child support increase?
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Angry father trying to take kids because of child support increase?
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Two weeks ago my childrens father and I went to court to get child support increased. He was only paying 160 a month, and they increased it to 79 a week. He was mad.
He never really spent much time with the kids, mostly just holidays and birthdays, but in court he told the judge that he takes them every other weekend and that they stay 2 nights with him. That was a lie and I told the judge and the judge ordered him to spend 52 hours a month with the kids.
He sent his mom as he always does (I don't have his phone number or his address) to get the kids during the school week. I decided to let them go thinking he is finally ready to be a bigger part of their life.
I just found out two days ago from my children that on that visit their father took them to see a doctor and then went to the police station. At the police station my children said that they did not talk to the police and that their dad went into a room with the cop. My daughter did over hear them when they were coming out and the cop said yes people should respect children.
I called the childrens fathers mom and asked her why they took my kids to the doctor and she said because my sons MRSA was worrying their father. I then told her, well you know I took him to the doctor and he has finished his antibiotic and he's all healed up now. I then asked her why then did the doctor also look at my daughter and she said, the kids are always sick and they are always dirty when you bring them here. I told her F*** you B**** you will never see these kids again and I hung up the phone on her.
First of all my kids always have a bath before I take them to their dads mom and second they told my son to lie ans say that my boyfriend was spanking him which is a lie because I dont let anyone hit my kids.
I'm going today to get a file from the police department where there father gave me a black eye because when my daughter was one he was spanking her because she was crying and I would not let him so I got beat up.
My kids are very stressed out by all of this because they dont want to live with their father.
I need some legal advice. Any advice is appriciated.
Additional Details
for curious115, just so you know there is allot more to the story, the grandma was giving my kids allergy medicine every single time they went there just to keep the kids mellow, so before you go attacking me when I'm already being attacked by these crazy people you should just either give good advice or pass this question right on by.
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Harriet
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Unfortunately you have to follow the court-ordered time otherwise you could get in trouble. If this is stressful for the kids you have to take it back to court and say what's been happening. Write it all down. If there is evidence they told your son to lie about abuse, that should be taken very seriously. You should also contact the police station and see if they can tell you anything.
Also, ignore the people saying child support money often isn't spent on the kids. That's a silly accusation to make and $79 a week isn't much, I bet you spend more than that on two kids in a week. Anyway, even if he was paying too much and you were spending it wrongly, there are mature ways for him to deal with it, not this.
Harriet |
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curious115
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You need more than advice, you need an attitude adjustment. If you care about your kids you DO NOT use them like chess pieces. you DO NOT keep them hostage from Grand parents and other family members. You shelter them and keep your animosity to yourself.
They are kids, not pawns. Let the Dad act out, but you need to take the higher ground. You already have custody and his games are not going to change that any time soon. Put those children first and grow up. Stop hurting your kids, yes that is what your doing. |
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Snow
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First, get yourself a lawyer. If you cannot afford one go to legal aid in your community. They will help you obtain one. Next, start documenting everything. And I mean everything. get yourself a notebook, write down everything said by your child's grandma, their dad. how the kids looked when they left for dads house, how they looked, acted when they came home. Go to the doctor he took them to ask what went on. Document everything. Unless it is in a court order that you have to hand over the kids to the grandma, don't. Make the Dad come pick them up and drop them off. If you include a note with the kids saying something like, Sally not feeling well today or something as such. Document anything he says in return, or the fact that he does not say anything in return. Be civil and nice to the dad and the grandma. you want them to be seen as the uncooperative ones, not you. Do not spread rumors about the dad or grandma, it will come back to haunt you.
Again, get a lawyer. and good luck. |
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Mr Doesright
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You can inquire as to the report(s) filed at the police station. It regards your children and their safety. You could look into having a false statement filed on your ex if it is full of lies and allegations.
Check your custody papers. Stick to the time allowed and no more to eliminate more problems. |
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Skitzee2k
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Do you really need his money? After all if he is paying for them when you have a partner he may feel he is entitled to see the kids as much as you. |
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Buddy R
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I'm not trying to say that you do this but a lot of women don't spend the child support money on the kids and the men frankly usually get shafted by the judge. It would probably make you upset too if you had to pay your ex a large part of your paycheck if the roles were reversed.
Usually after a divorce the judge orders the father to pay a lot more for the kids than the couple was able to spend on them before the divorce.
Since the child support was just doubled, yeah he is upset. He has bills too and I'll bet he doesn't think you spend the money on the kids. If you let him know the money is being spent on the kids and not on yourself it'll probably be more palatable to him.
If you haven't been mistreating the kids you have nothing to worry about. The courts always discriminate against men so its not like you'll lose custody. Sorry, spoken from the standpoint of a father so its probably not what you want to hear. Really I wish the courts required receipts from the mother about how the child support money was spent. As it is now, there is no accountability on the woman's part.
Maybe you can make a deal so he gets one kid and you get the other. Then nobody would pay child support and it would be fair. As far as neither kid wanting to live with Daddy, I'm sure Mommy has something to do with that. Don't turn your kids against their father.
If you take Snow's immoral advise on making it harder for the kids to see their father I hope your ex documents it and takes away both of your kids. That is another example of how the husband gets hosed over. |
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