Does a kid have to be beaten in order to be abused?
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Does a kid have to be beaten in order to be abused?
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A 15 year old has approached me (responsible adult) about abuse from her parents (dad). I've tried mediating, I've called DCFS, I've had the child talk to school counselors nothing seems to be working. When she's beaten up she's too scared to say anything. By the time she gathers enough courage to speak, evidence has gone away. Only one time have friends seen bruises, but by the time the Social Worker arrived, the bruises were gone.
She's still getting beat up by her dad. However, everyone I talk to says if there's no evidence there's nothing they can do? Is our system really going to sit here and wait till she gets beaten to death before they do anything about it?
Is there no contact number that I can give her or someone I can refer her to? Any help is sincerely appreciated. Los Angeles, CA area. Additional Details Sorry...DCFS is Child Protective Services. They've been called, and called again.
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Lt. Dan reborn
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I am sorry to hear this, but I will say evidence speaks for itself. When there is none at the time of the report, it's much harder to take positive action.
I have been involved in cases where the reporter waited until the bruises were so far healed as to be indistinct. Photos show nothing, nada.
I have also been on cases where the bruising and other signs of abuse were fresh and what a difference that makes. The photos were what tipped the scales against the parents from what I was told and the parents had their rights PERMANENTLY revoked.
The Mother left her abusive boyfriend, had another baby and BAM! The child was taken immediately.
I hate to say that it's hopeless, but I will say with the courts worried about unreasonably taking a parent's rights away, evidence is the key.
Please encourage the child to report the next incident and get help as soon as it happens. Schools are mandatory reporters of neglect by law, so try someone there, or the police dept. if it is after hours from school
You have to do something, and at the very least, support them and tell them you are concerned, they really need a friend. |
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FaerieWhings
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Contact her everyday! And keep a camera on you to take pictures of any bruises she has. Tell her not to be afraid of her dad getting caught but more afraid of her father possibly killing her one day. Keep contact DCFS until they do something about this. It's ridiculous.
We are so busy trying to pass laws against things that aren't abuse that the children like these are being neglected. It's a shame. |
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tabulator32
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Are you kidding?
Have the student have their freinds take pictures of the bruises and present them to you.!
(If YOU take the pictures, that can lead to OTHER issues.)
If parents are leaving bruises on a regular basis, capture the evidence.
When you can get the pictures AND the student to someone who will listen, present it all.
Record dates and times and testimony. Build up a case like you were going to court. The more of your facts you have together, the more people will pay attention.
Use facts, not drama.
Get the point across to the police.
The more reports you make, the better the case you have in the long run. |
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Dotr
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At 15 this girl needs to speak up for herself and trust someone to photograph her bruises. In NY state they will go just by what a minor tells them & investigate.Where thhell is this kids mother,under a rock or stupid? |
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normobrian
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You should be skeptical, as well, unless you've seen the evidence for yourself (not second hand). Children today know how to manipulate the system to get back at their parents.
That being said, you should always err on the side of caution and repeat to authorities any allegation that she has made to you, without embellishment or added emphasis (again, unless you've seen the evidence yourself). Do a search for abuse hot lines. Enough calls to the authorities will keep the situation in daylight. Doing nothing will keep it behind closed doors. |
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Gianna M
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God forbid if there is a next time, take pictures of her injuries, encourage her to come forward immediately, let her know the only way these idiots will help her is if they can document the abuse. What scares me is how many more silent beatings has she had to endure due to all the attention from school counselors, DCFS, & social worker visits.
Does she have any other relatives like a maternal grandparent she can go to?
I would contact Child protective services. Please don't give up on your quest until this child is safe. May God Bless you and help you help this child.
Response to no help from DCFS:
Ask the child if there are any other relatives she can go to, and if there is please help her get there |
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Jon
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Honestly, Yes!
I have went through a much similar situation, where my mother verbally and physically abused me. There were instances, two to be more abrupt that social workers or child protective services talked to me, but nothing was done. It is really unfair how this system works and that someone can go so low to throw there problems on children or someone they are supposed to love. What I suggest is to be there for this child, because children who under go this type of abuse feel really hard upon themselves. (Like they deserve to be punished) This comment goes double time if they were verbally abused, I still have times where I feel that I am too stupid or that no one likes me. What is so sad about a situation like this is that it might not be she does not have enough courage to stand up for herself, but that children who under go this feel that it is normal and bind a form of love to there parent regardless. I will bring some light unto the situation, she is 15 years old... that would make her a sophomore in High School. She would only have around 2 years to go before she can escape this abuse. I am bringing myself up through college and am going into medical school. Things do and will get better!
Hope this helps
Jon |
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pinelake302
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There are many kinds of abuse and not all are physical. she needs to contact social services her self and get something done or if not there to a woman's shelter...they will get things going big time. |
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jardin
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Contact child protective services in your area. You can do a google search.
Get pictures next time. |
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Mike N
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Where I live, a childs word is enough to have an abusive parent arrested.
Just as bad, or worse, is verbal abuse or not even showing love to your child. |
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firefly
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Threaten to go to the press and expose how the child protective services are not doing their job. You can do this anonymously to protect the child. |
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oldsalt6585
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Someone needs to take this poor excuse for a father and have a 'TALK' with him. And remind him of further 'talks' if he ever lays a hand on the girl again. I had a 'talk' with my brother-in-law over 20 years ago about how he was treating his wife/my sister. It worked. |
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?
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Make sure she takes photos next time.
Idk really. Could contact the police. If they THINK something has gone on, especially to a child, they may do something about it. remove her from his custody or something. Is there no other family? And did SHE admit it to the counseller? Because if she did, and they are doing nothing - then they are not actually doing their jobs properly.
Good luck |
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jacqueleigh1975
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Gosh, i wished i could help but i was in the same spot your in with two children i knew. They lived with their abusive mother in a apartment complex and she would lock them in their rooms and leave for days at the time and they were 1yr and 3yr old girls and she also beat them. One day i heard that she left the girls locked in their room with no food so i went and i called social service, and a number of other places but no one cares! I went and got the girls and called their daddy but he was a drunk who i later found out was molesting them.. I had to give them back to the daddy and nothing was done for along time and finally i heard that they finally took the girls away to foster care.... |
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jnwmom
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Contact the Attorney General for California,too many cases like this happen.Good for you and God Bless you and may God watch over her.If you contact the Attorney General it may cut through alot of the red tape,I would even try calling the police commissioner.And if all else fails,threaten to go to the news channels,they hate publicity.
Shoot with you living in the LA area,go to Bill Handels website,hes an attorney and they can give you advice on who to go to.
http://www.handelonthelaw.com/ |
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young old man
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No there is also psychological abuse , where the child has to endure fear, demeaning insults , yelling ,demoralization...
But to your over all question ... the child has fear to tell for reprisal , and knowledge of being her father , What can one do ??the most legal is of course child protection agency , check also with the Abused women Agency they might be able to take her over and counsel her , Perhaps a close relative could take her over , other wise just be there to help her out in a necessity , usually beatings occur from anger, frustration , alcoholism , if some one could talk to him ( no threats as that will make him more abusive ) and if threat is carried out one becomes liable to the law , the other thing is convince the girl to speak out but she has to have some one to replace her dad , so just maintain the pressure with the child abuse agency. |
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cantcu
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No, there are several kinds of abuse, physical being one!
Sounds as if you are personally involved.
School counselors should not be intervening in child abuse cases, unless they like to be sued!
What are you mediating? His abusiveness?
She won't talk as she knows what is going to happen as she has probably told before yet nothing happened.
If she has bruises bring her to the nearest hospital to have the bruises documented by an MD and then and they will call the police. It may be child abuse, but it is also assault, which is a crime.
Don't wait for CPS. The police can intervene and it will be reported to CPS! Once documented, and it occurs regurlarly, CPS has no option but to intervene, especially if the police take her into protective custody then go interview her father!
And no evidence does not mean the child is not being emotionally abused! |
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BigDaddy Tim
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nope you can abuse your kids in all sorts of ways.
1. you can beat them
2. you can not beat them
3. you can yell at them
4. you can not yell at them
5. you can feed them to little
6. you can feed them to much
abuse is in the form of the action not in the action its self. all things are good and all things are bad. Nothing is ever good all the time and nothing is ever bad all the time. |
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dze
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have u ever seen her get beaten? ...why dont you butt out of someone elses buisness ... if there were black eyes and broken bones i would say do somthing ... but theres not ... so get a life and leave theirs alone .. |
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