How do i get a guy to quit harrassing me?

ParaNYC

"How do i get a guy to quit harassing me? He left a threatening message on my phone and keeps harassing my sister's boyfriend to tell him things about me...we want to do something about this before it gets worse but what do i do? The police don't always help! Do i take him to court for harassment? And restraining orders don't keep people from coming near you."

There is no quick answer to your question especially since you left out some pretty important information in your fact pattern.

What you can do depends on the "threat" that was made and what the nature is of the information the "guy" is soliciting from your sister's boyfriend. It would also be useful to know how old are the participants in this scenario?

Of course, you'll need to save the phone message. But if all the guy said, for example, was that he'd tell everyone you wear thongs and he asked your sister's boyfriend what your favorite colour is, then there's no threat of harm and no obvious pattern of harassment.

However, if you were threatened with physical harm and the information the guy is seeking from your sister's boyfriend is contact information like an address, phone number, place of work, etc. then you have cause to increase the level of protections you provide yourself. And if at any point in time you feel imminently at risk to physical harm you should call the police using "911."

But if there is no imminent threat, then go to your local courthouse and ask the Clerk who handles criminal matters for a petition for an Emergency Order of Protection or a petition for Restraining Order, or the like. The Clerk should also be able to refer you to a Victim's Rights Advocate who can help you fill out the paperwork. Once that's all filled out, you will go before the judge who will review your petition, possibly ask you a few questions, and decide if it warrants an order.

Although the order doesn't keep a person away, it will give you additional means to prevent the harassment. And it does prompt the police to act where they might not otherwise have acted and it empowers them to make an arrest for a violation of the order where otherwise they might have been stuck with a ticket for trespass or been able to do nothing by law.

If the behaviors escalate, file complaints with the police about the unlawful activity in addition to complaints about violations of the protective order.

[This is not legal advice. You should consult a licensed attorney-at-law for legal advice or representation before making decisions that may affect your legal rights.]

Diamonds_4Ever

Save all of the communication he has with you like the message he left. Still get a restraining order and everytime he breaks it, document it and report him. You may later even be able to sue.

inzaratha

Restraining orders do not keep people away but they can alert the police to patrol your area more. The police dont get their fast enough and people will not help you because they don't want to get involved. I would leave your place and stay with a friend if at all posible or have someone stay with you. Don't be alone.
Vary your patterns of doing things as much as possible. Screen your calls and don't pick up unless you know who it is. Alert the people you go to work with so they can buddy up with you.
Good luck.
I've been through this. I had to completely relocate to another state but it had gotten much worse than yours is now.

SarinaAnn

I'm not sure but make sure you keep all the messages on your phone that he leaves so that way if he tries to do anything to you and you want to press charges than you can show the police proof that it has been going on for a while.

Alex

Restraining Order!

tani n

Tell him to stop bothering you VERY FIRMLY.IF do not stop threaten to tell cops ,if persists actually go to the cop, just so that your reports are there in case something happens. Please try and have company with you, especially if going out.God bless you and keep you safe.

rx8 slotcar

the best is legal.. so keep calling the cops.. get the RO best of luck to you

Ted Kennedy aka Swimmer

kick him in the balls

Miriam A.

Well sounds to me like you have a case of a stalker. One thing I suggest, If you live with your parents, ask them to help, may sound stupid, but thats what I did, and it worked.

namdam

provide him a composite of what you will look like when you have squeezed out 2 or 3 sprogs, after of which you will spend 12 / 24 hours on the tv sofa gorging yourself with burgers and chocalate complaing between mouthfuls of the enormous sacrifise of being a mother or housewife.

Believe me, he will bolt...if he has any sense.

i would like to know how well do you know the guy? then figure out what makes him tick what does he want and how far is he will to get?

He Who Has The Answers

you have a couple of options
1. talk to him tell him to go away.
2.talk to the police and save the messages. if you do this and they don't help you could lodge a formal complaint.
3.take out a restraining order
4. go to one of those a current afairs shows and ask them to name and shame him or prefferably do a story on it (should be absoloute last resort not reccomended)

those are your options as far as i can tell
i suggest following them up in that order.

loofa36

Your right...sometimes the old ways are the best...get a couple of thugs to scare the crap out of him...like maybe break a few fingers...bet he won't be so scary then...

~*~Feelin' Froggy~*~

Go to the police. They will talk to him! Trust me, when you get the police involved, he will most likely leave you alone. If you get a restraining order and he breaks it, he'll be punished. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Good luck!

IloveMarmite

Get an injuction out on him. So first thing you should go to the police !!

constantine p

well, you just cannot simply say no to such guy. he will continue doing it if you don't do something drastic. here are some suggestions:
1. tell someone that you trust and of course the one who can do something about it.
2. fight for yourself.
3. trap him...slowly

the choice is in your hands. good luck!!

Oh No!!!!!!!

Like the lady above me said, " Get a stun gun.
But the most effective way is to completely ignore anything he does, says. he will only thrive on any responses you give him.

When he gets no reponse he will go away, when your friends talk about him tell them you don't want to talk about him EVER!!

If you can, get someone to kick the shi*t out of him.

Astro;Andy H.

Tell him he gave you an STD and that you will go to the authorities if he don't stop.

First thing to do is get a stun gun! Then get a restraining order. keep the stun gun with you at all times. Especially when you go out your door. make it second nature to never leave home without it. I have a "Streetwise 300,000 Volts Stun Gun" a restraining order won't keep him from coming after you but it will insure that he goes to jail for awhile if he does! The stun gun will ensure he stays put till the cops come for him!

way2cooolmom

kill him

existentialvoyager

Choose the guys you mess with better

T L

Save your message for the police. If it is threatening, it is considered a terrorist threat and is legally punishable. Having friends in low places doesn't hurt either.

i dunno how serious it is... but laways believed that communication solves every problem. so i think if u talk to "him" and feed him some emotions, he shud be sensitive enough to stop harrassing u................ taking legal action would either scare him off, or agravate him n make ur life even more difficult.
so if possible, talk to him, and clear things out in amicable manner.

mark r

if youve gone to the police and he wotn stop, you might have to move. sorry.

Tripod

Restraining orders do keep certain people from going near u

soothsayer

Represenative Foley at it again huh?

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