I am filing for divorce and want sole LEGAL custody. I'm in CA, can I win?
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I am filing for divorce and want sole LEGAL custody. I'm in CA, can I win?
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I have 2 girls ages 9 and 5. My husband and I separated at the beginning of December 2008. Since then he has had weekend visits, every other weekend. He picks up on Friday, returns them on Sunday. I want to petition for sole legal custody, because I already, and have always made all the decisions regarding their medical care and education. He and I get along. I inform him of what's going on with them and ask for his opinion and what he thinks about it. But I do all the legwork. He does take them to the doctor and to school if I need him to. But I chose the doctors, dentists and schools. I have been trying to find answers on this and it seems sole legal custody is rare. I don't want to have his permission to do anything. Thanks.
Additional Details
I am not trying to be selfish. In fact, if there was some stipulation that he could make those decisions in my absence, that would be perfect. The girls are with me 95% of the time. I make all the decisions. I do all the legwork. I get no financial support from him either. They love him and I have no problems with him. But really, to put it in perspective, he's like a much loved babysitter or extended family member. I understand his rights as a parent, but if he has not taken on those rights in the past, and now he is only exerting those rights when it comes to visit, what does it hurt him to give me legal custody? I will try and get him to agree. Thanks for your help.
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Mark H
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You have no chance for sole legal custody. If their father is with them in some park and they fall and badly break a leg, what is he supposed to do? Try calling you first to get you to call a doctor or an ambulance, which could take some time, or just call 911 and have an ambulance come to take them to a hospital, where he can sign them in? Also, without legal custody, their father won't be allowd to even talk to their school teachers. With shared legal custody you don't need to have his permission to do anything. |
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John G
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You don't want his permission to do anything yet you would make him get yours before he does anything. You sound selfish...you don't have to tell me that you don't ask his permission, I can hear it in your writing. Why taint a relationship which is working. They are both your kids, get that right. You are partners until they turn 18, you're not "in charge." |
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musicman812
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Don't punish your kids b/c you are incapable of working w/ your ex. It's selfish and uncalled for -- especially when you guys get along.
Why not be mature and ask him to pick up some of the slack -- ask for help with them? It sounds like he's a decent guy and will likely oblige. |
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laughter_every_day
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There are several way to get sole custody, with hubby having only visitation rights. The most common way is for hubby to agree. That happens every day. If he does not agree, then it is less likely. Court prefer joint custody, even if one parent only has physical custody a small percentage of the time. Still, a court can order sole custody if that is in the best interests of the children. Nothing you said would persuade a judge that it is in the best interests of the child to exclude hubby from decisions concerning the kids, but that does not mean that you do not have other reasons. The fact that he is involved would not lead the judge to award sole custody. |
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lorisam7879
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I want to try to be as respectful as possible here....but he is their father. He has just as much right to make decisions, or have a part in decisions as you do. Wanting to make it so that you and you alone have the legal right to decide isn't right... the judge will feel this way also.
Having said that you can request full custody however its not likely to be granted since he is keeping his regular visitations, takes them to appointments and school...i.e. making a clear effort at being a father and being near them. The only way a judge would remove custody from a parent is if they're unfit or not interested in them at all. |
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