I am getting married within the next few months the man I am going to marry is curently incarcerated he has?

affordablecomputerrepairmuskegon

My god, she did not ask if she should be with him, she asked if there was any idea what she should do about that... how long has the daughter been with you, im not sure how it works in TN or GA but in michigan if you have a minor stay with you for 30 days with out anyone that has custody there then you gain rights and can even file for child support on that child, call around and ask various family law lawyers what they might recommend , if the mother wants nothing to do with the child then let her come live with you for a month and then file for support.
sorry for all those that want to tell you how to run other parts of your life they seem to just have no life of thier own.
might also want to file child abandonment after the 30 days are up or whatever time period it is in that state so she cant get the kid back when its convienient for her. but definitly call around and get some advice from family law attornies.
email if you have any other questions and ill do my best to help,
Joel

Rev. Dr. Al Poe

Smart move. Live your life in hell. Get your act together. You need professional counselling.

Tibby

If he comes with that much baggage you probably should stay away from him altogether, sounds like he's not a very good guy who wants to settle down.

There's plenty better out there for you, walk away while you still can.

sapmoolapmoo

wow--I don't feel qualified to answer your question so I'm not going to try. Just don't take the 14 year old out of guilt--only if you really really love her. She needs it. And if you're willing to take her as your own child then money shouldn't be the issue? Imagine if your parents used to fight about who would pay for you--you'd feel like a nuisance and like you're just in the way....

Hey Sweetie

Boy! you dont see the problems you are in for..From the details you gave in your question your life is pretty much down hill from here if you go through with all of this

my avatar's hot!

Good LORD, run while you still can!

And legally you can't do anything with this child. You're not married to him, and even if you were a step parent has no rights to a previous marriage child. Only he or his ex wife can petition the family court to decide custody. You are extremely liable to take this child into your home now. If anything happens to her you are one hundred percent liable and on the hook. (And it will happen, she's a teenager.)

Tell her, and ex wife, as soon as he gets out of jail he can deal with it. Whoever files the custody paperwork is the one paying for it, either him or her. Location is the residence of who files.

In the eye's of my Angel<

I would run away quickly. He's already failed 2 marriage's obviously for a reason. If he's fixing to get out and she doesn't want her daughter anymore why don't she just give her to the dad. Why would you have to go through this whole process. What kind of mother doesn't want her child anyway. I would really rethink marring this man honestly.

Mr. Bugsme

You're not that desperate. Think carefully before you jump into this.

SuziiQ

Call child protective services for advice on this issue....also who is going to help you support the kid while her dad is out the picture??? The mother should have to pay child support or give up full rights to the kid and you adopt her (tax benefits :).

And one to grow on...What happens to the kid if you and the Dad break up before she turns 18?

EDIT:

Okay not to focus on the money issue, but on the legal aspect of the matter at hand...It is great that you are will to take in a child that is not yours and provide a good loving home...but you still need legal protection and custody. Without it you won't even be able to do the basics such as enroll her in school or carry her on your insurance...

PLEASE contact the state government on this issue, they deal with this type of issue everyday. If it is as civil with the mother as you say here then it should be as simple as signing some paper work. Not only can they guide you through the paperwork and the process...they may also point out somethings you have not even thought about.

EDIT PART 2:

I am not judging you or your situation...I wish you the BEST of luck and that everything works out especially for the KID...Please pray on this and make sure it is what you want and can handle...she has already been put out of one house

uscav8r

Stay away! Stay FAR away! What makes you think he'd make a good father to your child if you ever have one together? He's probably broke since he's in jail, and he'd still have to pay child support for his two other kids for the time being. If he is already stiffing that, don't you think he'll end up doing the same to you eventually?

Why makes this time any different? And don't say it's "love." It may be for you, but probably not for him! He just wants a source of cash and someone to play "mommy" to his kids... Grandma apparently doesn't want the job anymore!

Laura C

You can adopt her as long as both of her parents agree to it.
People that marry a man or woman that have children from a previous relationship do it all the time. Consult an attorney as to the process in your area.

It doesnt sound like the girl's mother would be willing to pay for anything. I am guessing that you will be paying the bills on this one. The Courts don't care who pays for it...just as long as they get paid.

ANTHONY QUEST

You must love this guy or you have a very poor judgment convicts are always in a look for a safety net were to land and what to say to parole and freedom day .has he found god or what ,ask yourself if he is using you or really loves you I don't know him nor you but try to find out what his plans are. A man will say anything to get in that net that I mention, talk in this case is not cheap for you the great risk that you are taking, a man measures up not by going to jail and survived but to get a job and become a provider getting up every day and go to work that is the challenge well GOOD LUCK in your difficult quest for happiness honestly that daughter will be trouble

Linda S

I love children but I would say you are crazy for this consideration... How long is he going to be held? Have you met the child? We have 3 new kids in our family and it is amazing how we accept them but they can't accept us..

I had 2 foster children many years ago and it was the same thing . We loved them and cared for them and all they could think about was their abusive parents returning...They were only 4 and 5 years old. I mean they were treated badly like punishment was putting their bottoms on the hot stove top and scalding them in the bath tub..The courts only interest was to get them back into their home even though the parents were unable to fulfill their end of the deal.. Like counsiling and not giving them baby bottles and diapering them at that age anymore..but they went right back to their ways... I did have the kids to a dentist because all of their teeth had rotted out from taking a bottle until 4 and 5 years of age...What was the point of tearing our hearts out if they were going back to this home that was out of order? We were able to keep these girls for 9 months but when I went to visit the new home they had moved into they had already removed both bathroom doors and tore the island out of the kitchen and made the place look like a dump.

darylann

I'm sure you're basically a very nice person just trying to do the right thing, but please think twice before you jump into this can of worms!!! My goodness!! How old are you? Is this really something you want to commit to? Have you thought about the life you're preparing for? Are you ready to be the sole support (financially and emotionally) for all these disfunctional people? You may think you can handle it, but please weigh all your options first. Even if you really think you can help the 14 year old, don't be in such a hurry to do it all legally before you settle into what's ahead of you. Do you want to be legally liable for this teen's actions for the next 4 years or more? You can be there for her and get to know her first, without actually adopting her or becoming her legal guardian.

Please, talk to a professional and get some legal advice. Check the yellow pages or a crisis center if you don't know where to start. You really need to consider what you're getting yourself into. I know, when you're young and idealistic about helping people, it's easy to feel that you can do it all. But the good feeling quickly fades to anger and resentment when things start falling apart and it doesn't all end happily ever after.

Remember, good-hearted people are often targeted and taken advantage of by the "down and outs." Don't leave yourself wide open to others who may only be using you while pretending to need and love you.

Joey M

WTF are you thinking...this is a disaster waiting to happen. Forget that he's in prison...do you really want to marry a drug addict with 2 children from 2 previous marriages...doesn't this tell you something about him? What about the mother that wants to abandon her child WTF? What mother could abandon a child...Are you sure this is a "family" you want to become involved in? Honey you are only setting yourself up to be abandoned wife #3...Why don't you just adopt the girl, dump the father, and get as far away from them as you possibly can? The only reason you could possibly stand to have been with him for 2 1/2 years is because he's in prison...if he had been out you would have had 2 1/2 years of deceit, abuse, and theft...GET OUT!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I just checked out your profile and some of the questions you have posted...is the jailbird the "40 yr old looking for a natural Viagra"? How old are you? Do you have any self esteem?

clumsyraine

The only part I can guess at is who should pay. My mom's boyfriend had a daughter from an earlier relationship and her mom wanted him to sign over his rights and he was supposed to pay for it. (He didn't want to pay or give up his daughter, and he didn't.) Therefore I would think in your situation, if they want to sign over their rights they should pay.

autumnlakes

You're concerned about the cost of this court cost? By chosing to marry someone with such troubles and taking on his child (on your own) you will surely see a lot more financial issues beyond this. Sounds like you should be seeking counseling with this child before you sign up for a lot more grief than you expected. What does the 14 yr old want? Before you go to the courts, you should see if the two of you can live together in harmony. Getting involved with someone with such troubles could come at a huge cost. Make sure you truly understand what you are getting into before you try to make it legal. BTW, can you imagine how you would feel if your mother abandoned you at this age (when she is most vulnerable). This 14 yo is likely to have a lot of issues. How sad her mother would treat her so terribly.

Randy F

A motion for a change of custody with the present custodial party agreeing shouldn't cost but a couple hundred bucks in Georgia. As a matter of fact you can do it yourself and pay tthe filing fees etc and get it done. If you are concerned for this child pay the fees and take control now because it seems the present party doesn't want the child. It would have to be done in Tennessee. Specify in the motion that the child will have a new residence in Georgia. Georgia recognizes these situations.

Holly G

I would highly suggest consulting a lawyer.Â A lot will do a free consultation.Â You probably need a lawyer that practices family law.Â If I were you I would suggest to them that you split the legal charges in half including lawyer fees.Â There are laws that state they can't just dump their child because they don't want her anymore.Â Do you have any idea how many teenagers would be on the street if every parent who didn't want their teenager could dump them?Â Do you have any idea how confusing family courts would get if every parent could just give away their teenager?Â Her mother could be charged with neglect for just dumping her on you.Â As for you if her mother ever got upset with you or her father she could easliy say she didn't give permission for the daughter to stay with you and you could be charged with kidnapping.Â Hiring a lawyer will protect all parties involved from any potential legal problems.Since you are not married to her father yet, I'm guessing you can't just be given custody of her.Â Most likely the custody would have to be given to her father who places her in yourÂ care until his release.Â However, I'm not sure the court would do that because of your fiance's drug charges and position in jail.Â As for just giving you custody the court will most likely ask what if you two don't end up getting married.Â Then what?If you can't go through the courts and you're set on doing this.Â I would suggest typing up and having her mother sign a form stating that she is giving permission for the daughter to stay with you indefinately, that she is relinquishing all her parental rights and responsibilities, and you are to be considered the girl's parental guardian.Â Both of you go to the bank and sign it in front of a notary and have them notarize it.
EDIT:Also, I know you said you've spent summers with her but I think you should "check her out".Â There's a reason her mom suddenly doesn't want her anymore.Â It could be her mom is irresponsible or it could be the teenager is causing problems.Â Request to see her school report cards and attendance records.Â Call child protective services in GA and explain the situation and ask how you can find out if she's been arrested for anything.Â Criminal records for minors are confidential, that's why I suggest calling child protective services.Â A lawyer would be able to help you with this also.Â I would also seriously consider having her take a pregnancy test.Â Its very possible her mom wants to get rid of her cuz the girl's preggars.

Basically you just want to do whatever you can to PROVE it's the mother being irresponsible and has nothing to do with the daughter's behavior that's going to continue when she moves in with you.

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