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I had my husband arrested for assault and it now has to go to court i want to drop the charges do i still go?
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I had my husband arrested for assault and it now has to go to court i want to drop the charges do i still go?

Do i still have to go to court if i want to drop the charges against him and we already have a court date


Yes and depending on your state you may not be able to drop the charge, many states have Prosecutorial discreetion meaning the DA can carry the charges forward without your consent

why would u want to drop the charges?

Big Daddy Jim
Yes, you still have to go to court. Then check into a mental hospital. Why do woman put up with so much abuse?

women like you really p me off. You stay in relationships where yo get loads of abuse call police to p off your partner. Then take him back when he makes you beleive it all your fault. You are an insult to all the abused and battered women in this world who struggle to get free from an abusive relationship, Not to mention the expense of calling police and court costs which we tax payers have to pick up your bills. Get a life and get a job and keep away from him. Or maybe like so many of them time wasters you actually enjoy the beatings and abuse.You degrade society

If he seriously assaulted you enough for you to call the police and you are going to drop the charges then
your a fool he needs help and so do you.
The police may also drop the charges
but then you may be done for
WASTING police/court time
and if you drop the chrges you should be
(too many women I have known put up with this Bu ll sh it)

How many times does he have to assault you before you follow through your actions and go to court and stand up for yourself?

I have lost count of the number of women who live in an abusive relationship, phone the police when he assaults her, then get upset when I summons them to attend court because they think that by doing a retraction statement, it will all end.

Regardless of your reasons for not wanting to attend court, consider the time and money that has been invested in protecting you from your abuser. The people who have taken an interest in YOUR welfare and wellbeing, the police, domestic violence co-ordinators, prosecution service, witness care, victim support..not to mention family and friends who will have stood by you....no one wants to see you laid on a slab being formally identified...check out the statistics for women who die every week from violent abusers who always promise they won't do it again!...Well ... not till next time anyway!
If you love him...which I'm sure is your reason for wanting to drop the case...do him a favour and take it through court!...That way...he see's you mean business, that you aren't his punchbag...that your kids (if you have any), see that if someone abuses you even though its their dad...that its not going to be tolerated.

Children learn this behaviour from the adults who influence them the most...stop the cycle...get yourself and him some help...and use the courts to get it.

It doesn't matter if the assault is a first or a 50th time...nor if alcohol was the catalyst or whether you have been scrapping as a couple for ages....assault no matter what level, be it a push or a full blown swipe is wrong and will inevitably lead to worse. No one deserves to be assaulted man or woman, and I would encourage anyone to follow through to the court case in cases of domestic violence.

For those who think this is a sign of men hating ...this is more a sign of love of humanity...you ONLY get help when you face the problem...it doesn't just go away..and even if a person is strong enough to get away from an abuser...that person (the abuser) needs the help...or the survivor who leaves...sets up another in the abusers next relationship, and they mightn't be so lucky!

Ò‰FuzzyÒ‰ - Ò‰No-NosedÒ‰ - Ò‰ChimpÒ‰
Why on earth are you dropping them? This is why so many women are victims of domestic violence, because it is so hard for the legal system to do anything about it, as the women keep ducking out. "Oh he says he'll never do it again..." or some other excuse, that means these people keep thinking it's all right to hit partners as they can talk their way out of it.

For womankind's sake, send this scum bag down. Respect yourself enough to see this through!

You have him arrested for assult and then drop the charges?? Why did you waste the cops time and our tax payers money to have him arrested in the first place?? If you drop his charges then you get everything you deserve and don't come into my work place and whine you're married to a wife beater. I don't go for that " I was scared" there are ways to get out if you really want to.

John Tiggity
Yes, if you've been summoned/subpoenaed to court, you better go. In addition, let's be clear about something. You cannot drop the charges. You may choose not to testify against your husband, but you don't control the case, strictly speaking. The state handles criminal prosecutions, and if the prosecuting attorney believes he has enough evidence to secure a conviction even without your testimony, he or she may pursue. You may want to communicate to the prosecuting attorney that you no longer intend to testify against your husband, and then he may drop the charges before you have to show at court.
Also, they may want you to talk to a social worker or someone before making your decision not to tesfify final so they can make sure your choice is voluntary. You could imagine why, I am sure, as many women may choose not to prosecute their husbands because of fear or coercion.
I won't talk about the whether I think your choice is wise since that is not what your question asked, but I would suggest that you think long and hard about it; no woman should have to live in an abusive relationship.

I've been where you are...don't drop the charges please.

You could get charged with misleading if you start changing your story..

But that's not the point...he'll only do it again..go to court, deal with it, then start a new life without him.

If you can, email me at sotondissertationsurvey@hotmail.co.uk.

I have just done some uni work on domestic violence and there's an article that might be of interest to you (it appears in the British Journal of Criminology and you have to pay for it if you're not a student... but i have downloaded it so can email it to you).

The article places domestic violence outside the law courts and into sociology. It is extremely common for women to drop charges because they often just want the police to intervene in the immediate situation but have little faith that the police can stop the abuse.

It is a non-judgemental article and I think would be useful to see the options available to you.

The only thing I would add is that often those who followed through with prosecutions found that it shocked their partner into stopping (by gaining back some power balance) or gave them the strength to start the process of leaving.

Good luck.

don't be stupid if he assaulted you then he must learn that it is unacceptable for him to hurt you.

Yes you do have to go to court and sort it out there.You can't mess about if the Police have charged him.

in the first place--why in the world would you want to drop them if he assaulted you?-in the state of Louisiana the charges cannot be dropped--he deserves his day in court anyway!!!

Tracy J
if its gone to Court it must have been serious , go through with it show him he cant go around assaulting people be strong will be Worth it in the end . even if you could drop the charged the police can still prosecute with out you .

Miss RoZy
I agree with rowdydogs. You are a complete disgrace to the decent hard working suffering women of this world

Eyota Xin
If it happens once its his fault. If it happens twice its yours!

Yes, by all means call the prosecutor and drop the charges. That way, the next time your husband knocks the hell out of you, the cops can waste their time with you all over again. After doing this several times, maybe, just maybe your husband will get it right and kill you. This eliminates you constantly calling for help and not following up and puts your husband away for life. Two birds with one stone.

I'm sorry there is far too much of this. Women complain to the Police who then arrest the offender (husband/partner) and spend loads of time investigating the offence for the woman (wife/partner) to drop the charges a few days later. There are certain relationships were this is quite regular and the Police know that the female will change her mind a few days later).
You've got to make you mind up what sort of relationship you want. If your prepared to keep having him back all the time your a bloody fool. Get a grip and find someone who wants to treat you properly with respect.!!!
I'm not saying it's easy, but to keep taking someone back who's basically a bully/thug is madness.

Ellie L
I presume, if you had him arrested, he did something to you. If it was bad enough to have him arrested why would you want to drop the charges? Not sure whether you are from UK or not, if you are you might find the police will continue with the charges, they don't now need you to press charges. If they think he is responsible for an attack, they'll prosecute anyway.

I have been in your shoes, when I was young and stupid. You wouldn't have had him arrested if it was only the first time. This is getting to be a habit.Love doesn't hurt. You will not be alone forever. You deserve better treatment than you are getting. Make him deal with it. Even if you have to go to court, so be it. You have to let him own up to his problem. If he keeps getting away with it, then he isn't learning anything, and in the end you 2 will divorce anyways. Stick up for yourself for once. Show some balls, and teach that lousey dik-wad you mean business.

rick s

Might as well go through with it now teach him a lesson.the police will only do it anyway.And the next time he is going to hit you he should think again cos he will wont he.

Jeffrey V
It probably turns on whether a determination of prosecution has already been filed. Since you already have a court date, my guess would be that the matter is probably out of your hands,since once a determination to prosecute has been made,only the DA can dismiss a criminal complaint.
As the victim, I would presume that you are under summons as the complaining witness. If true, unless you appear in the court the court can issue a bench warrant to pick you up and bring you to the court. Now, you certainly can invoke privilege as to anything told to you in confidence during the marriage, but if you refuse to answer questions while under oath on the stand you can be jailed for civil contempt for up to one year.
I would urge you to press this matter, because ifyou dont it will only get worse. My experience in these cases has been that a
batterer will not change without clear and compelling reason to do so. Droppong this charge would only enable him to do it again.

yes you have to go but the state can still pick up the charges

many states will not allow the charge to be dropped. The reasoning is that once a crime has been committed they must prosecute

you both go to court and explain it to the judge or magistrates.. they wil ltake your staements and respond accordingly. if in doubt ask teh clerk of the court for advice.. or go see the duty solicitor.

good luck.

I am a student social worker and my husband was arressted over a week ago now he is in court very shortly. I will not drop the charges against him, he has no right to put his hands on me. Please try to remember how scared you were when you telephoned the police. Hopefully by following through with procedings he will think twice about his behaviour because they are all very sorry when they get caught but not their actions. Please put yourself first. I must say I mind some of the comments on here very harsh and unsympathetic. I do understand what you are going through and it is very difficult but please don t be fooled by his promises of change and regret. Take care of yourself

I really dont know but i urge you not to. My partner assaulted me and I went back to see him.. not be back with him but try to help him and guess what... he assaulted me again, I was lucky to get out alive.. Thankfully the police were patrolling long weekend... I walked away -

don't past judgement on anyone. way to make her feel good. He who is without sin throw the first stone. When you had enough and you will know then move on.

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