I have a dilema!! some advice on how to appeal this to my hubby,?
Find answers to your legal question.
I have a dilema!! some advice on how to appeal this to my hubby,?
|
i am almost 28 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year and 8 month old son, this pregnancy has been very hard on my body and there have been times i am not able to function at my best, i cant kep up with the house work, we have a huge house, and the garden is also getting neglected, i end up making quick easy meals when i can otherwise my hubby comes home from a long day at work and has to cook... i dont like it if he is put under pressure, i want to do everything but was in hospital to stop premature labour and been on bed rest for a while, im more active now but i have virually NO energy and keep falling asleep where im sitting, i feel like my body is getting drainded and im worried how will cope with a new baby and my lovely son after such a tough pregnancy, i know with my son i also had a hard time, not as bad as now, and i had such bad post natal dep after it took years to get sorted,
anyway my dilema is we live in a country that it is very easy and affordable to get domestic help, people live in huts and have no electricity or hot water in most places and its very tribal in the area we live in, so please consider this when i state my case,
my mother has offered to pay for a domestic worker to be at our house 5 days a week, we have 2 rooms for accomadation in our garden with a shared shower and toilet, there is also electricity in the rooms and it is reasonably comfortable, the room i have available is not in the best condition but my mom offered to help fix it up for the maid, my mom will pay her a salary for the month and she will eat here and go to my mom for the week ends, its a temp arrangement, while i am havig a difficult time, this lady has no husband or dependant childeren and will come from about 2 hours away to live in and help me, my hubby has a hard time feeling responsible for other people and feels it is not apropriate to let someone live in those conditions, we already have a old man living in one of our rooms we dont charge him any rent and he dosent work for us, he has stayed here for over 1 years and is happy and content and tells me that this is better for him than where he would live, there is no hot water and the african people in this country boil water and wash them selves from buckets, i feel i would like for them to have it easier but that is the reality of how people live in this country, i also feel if we do get a maid to live in there are things we can do to get hot water into the shower and so on, we live in a subtropical climate too, i really need this help but also am stuck with the ethical question if its ok to let someone live in a small room with a shower with no hot water at the moment, knowing that the enviroment they are currently in is worse with no electricity and no running water, its better here but is it good enough and do i not let someone live in these conditions that are not ideal but better than there current conditions or leave them there with no job where they are currently liveing, its so hard, i dont want to take advantage of someone, but there is so much more if one looks deeper into it, and i want my hubby to look past the inadiquicy of our accomidation and see the need for more and lack of basic needs being met, oh gosh please help i want to do the right thing, it will be hard for some to understand, but we live in a country where homelessness means literatly that, people sleeping on the street and in bushes, no food for most no water and no lights, crime here is not petty theft but rape abuse getting killed for you mobile or a 5 pound dollar or rand, please give your oppinion?
Additional Details
the old man living on our property has been living here for over 10 years, he earns a salary and works at the local gas station, if he was not happy with the enviroment he would have found somewhere else to stay, he has more resorces than most, but we know its closer to work for him to be here and he needs to save money for when he cant work anymore,
|
 
|
John Paul
 |
The answers you're getting seem to be pretty much unanimous.
Your husband needs to chill out. If you can make someone else's life better and they can make yours better there's no reason to feel bad.
Although not living in another country or having to consider the discrepancies in lifestyle or traditions, my sister was in a somewhat similar predicament. Her husband works and she also works part-time but is also responsible for the home. She is an extremely energetic, positive, hard-working, active person but when she got pregnant it just got to be too much and she first asked for some help, then asked harder, and then finally put her foot down and demanded help.
Her husband's reservations sounded similar to what yours are: He just didn't like the idea of dependency and of inequity being thrown in his face ... he thinks of himself as very progressive I guess. But the fact is that the inequity is going to be there whether you ignore it or whether it's close to you or not. In my sister's case it was only part-time (few days a week) and didn't involve providing rooms but it sounds like that in your case the room is the best option.
I suspect that if your husband felt how you do and had to deal with what you do he would be wanting a maid without any qualms or hesitation at all.
I think deep-down almost everyone knows if what they're doing is the right thing and they just have to listen to what's deep down. I think he should listen to you and your mom.
Good luck. |
|
♥ laula & miracle 1 due 2 dec.♥
 |
hello hun,
i would def take the maid.
as long as she is aware of what she is agreeing to and is happy with the conditions that are then i would def have some help.
i think its south africa u live? and im from england so its hard for me 2 understand the huge cultural differences between the 2 but i really think u need to relieve ur own strain hun xxx
hope u feel better soon love xxx |
|
redhotsillypepper
 |
If she is your domestic and she is helping with your children and your house work, then why not have her use your shower or bath until you can get hot water to her room? She will be a better, more loyal employee if you treat her with dignity and grace. Plus, you won't have the heavy burden of a guilty conscience. |
|
Bess
|
Sounds perfectly fine to me. You don't sound like a horrible person to work for which would make up for many things and since they don't seem much better off anyway then I think it is a win win situation. |
|
grannynightgown
 |
It sounds ethical to me. The biggest issues are that the room is small and the hot water doesn't work, right?
You would be giving her the best that you could, which would be better than what she had.
I expect that she would probably be most upset about the job ending. |
|
mary k ♥
 |
That a hard situation.Maybe could you get one of these and put it in the shower?
http://www.2daloo.com/camp_shower.htm
http://www.expresstoolsandcamping.com.au/aussie_hot_camp_shower.htm |
|
Baby Doll Pregnant W Baby No.1 x
|
Hun i would let your mum take over it will take the strain off of you a heap! all this worry and stress isn't good for you and the baby.
I have read some of your recent Q's and i feel for you and I think you should try and relax a bit, you seem to have a great husband (i know mine wouldn't cook lol) It is not good to be under this much stress hun rest is obviously what you need and i would try and let your mother and husband help you out a bit more at this time and be a biit selfish. You seem to be a caring, loving wife and i'm sure making him take over on some things won't hurt you need some rest. Hope it works out hun you need to be a bit more selfish in my eyes. Best Wishes xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
|
|
|
|
|
 What does voluntary repossession mean? |
| this man came over to my friends house today with a tow truck and said that his dad is voluntary repossession our car and he doesnt want to return it because he wasnt from toyota. and then he said he ... |
|
 If a state unlawfully ordered and enforced a judgement against me can i sue the state? |
| And who exactly do I sue? As far as I know if you sue someone out-of-state you have to sue them in the state they reside, and the state they reside supersedes the laws of the state you're being ... |
|
 Can these kids get in trouble? |
here's the link to the what's going on if you want to look at it.
http://www.wftv.com/news
The house the kids came home to is very close to my house so I... |
|
 Why healthcare should remain privatized in the United States? |
| please be informative and persuasive. I have to give a speech about this and know nothing about it. please ... |
|
 Should I get a lawyer, Would any court giving me custody of my brothers? |
| After my dad died when I was 16, My mom depended on me a lot to do stuff my dad would like work to pay for stuff, look after my brothers they where only 1 an 3 years old. I did that until I was 18 ... |
|
 Is it legal for people to go through someone's trash? |
| There are various people who go through my trash looking for things they can recycle such as cans. They untie my tied up plastic bags, spilling my private trash from bathroom trash bag to kitchen ... |
|
 Why does my ex boss need to contact human recourses because of me? |
| I worked PT as Assistant Super for a little over 3 months,and I am on disability,I verbally told my ODSP worker and she told me to send Proof and I could keep half my earnings and they would keep the ... |
|
 Any legal minded people... if a car wash damages a car, whats the position in UK law.? |
| It ripped off a plastic spoiler from a new car roof! this was at a large supermarket chain in the UK, they had the smallest sign ever saying" they accept no responsibility for damages". I ... |
|
| No Further Proceedings regarding Penalty Points? |
I didnt pay a fixed penalty which would have cost me £120 and 6 points on my license
I admitted to the police at the time I was guilty and everything lol
Today I found out that ... |
|
 Need help with CA employment law - legal deductions? |
| If a company pays on the 15th & 30th of the month, and is paid 'to-date' (time is accrued up to the day of pay; i.e., employee submits time for the 1st-15th, then is paid on the 15th) ... |
|
 What are the arguments for people against tobacco regulation? |
| There is a new bill that passed through the house and is now going through the senate. There is a slight chance it'll pass. I'm doing a debate and arguing against regulation. Being anti-... |
|
 Is It against the law? |
| If i try to talk to somone on myspace, and make it known that they arent interested, but kinda beat around the bush, and never actually tell me to stop or go away, is it considered illegal??... |
|
 Errr, a cop just gave me a fine for killing a praying mantis? |
The ticket says, "2:15 P.M. *********** was seen harming an endangered insect that people were watching in Bronx Park next to the restrooms and vending machines."
Some A... |
|
 Is it illegal to download of pirate bay and mininova? |
| Hi my friend downloads films and music off Pirate Bay and Mininova using Utorrent to download the torrent is this illgal? I think it is btw but want a second ... |
|
 Why do people lie? Is it some kind of legal problem? |
| Can you get by with one small particle of honesty?... |
|
| Is there a legal age for two girls to stop sharing rooms.? |
| I have two daughters -One is 7 and the other is 16. I know it's different for boys but at what legal are girls suppose to ... |
|
 Is it fair to suggest Texas is its own worst enemy? |
| I am from Texas. I was born and raised here. I'm not your stereotypical Texan. I'm a staunch Democrat, and I loathe George Bush. I like Barack Obama, and I despise country music. Anyway, my ... |
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
