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Is it legal or not to whoop your child with a belt?? my ex says if it doesn't leave a mark it is ok!?
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Is it legal or not to whoop your child with a belt?? my ex says if it doesn't leave a mark it is ok!?

but how do you hit someone with a belt and not leave a mark?! im so furious about this and i am totally against this form of 'punishment'!!please help me!!!
Additional Details
the dad is the punisher..not me!! i dont even like to spank them..they are 14,13,13,&10


    




redheadedstepchild
First and foremost: DISCIPLINE is legal for children, Punishment is NOT!!

Using any instrument to strike your child is preventing you from actually being aware of just how hard you are striking them.

Any physical discipline should be administered ONLY with the open hand on the "bottom", not any where else on the body or head!

Never attempt to discipline your child when you are angry! Use a "time out" to let their imaginations work over what their discipline will be before administering it, (it will make it all the more devastating to them) anticipating the worse thing they can think of, while allowing you to regain control of your temper.

Physical discipline is normally only effective on young children, age two until age ten, older children tend to "act out" when given physical discipline making the situation worse for everyone. Alternatives for older children include: grounding, loss of privileges, etc..

Many of the local colleges offer parenting classes and interventions for parents with children that are hard to discipline.

Physical discipline should always be the LAST RESORT!

Former Children's Protective Services Caseworker


fairly smart
Rating
I believe in open hands. An open handed smack across the fat part of the butt leaves no marks, but stings enough to be remembered. I don't believe tools of any kind should be used on a child, belt or paddle or fist, or anything but an open hand. I don't know about legal...you can report him for abuse, as it is, & he may lose custody of the child.


kathy s
Rating
Perhaps you guys could try some parenting classes. They provide lots of good tips on how to raise healthy children and teens. It's not easy. But attacking someone with a belt is a very dangerous thing to do. If it goes to court, the parent will definitely be on probation. If the buckle puts someone's eye out, the parent may go to jail. Physical Violence is not the healthy route to go. Check out the state run parenting classes.


Pfo
It sounds a little harsh, but if the purpose is for punishment and is used rarely, it should be OK. Whoever is getting belt whipped must have done something to deserve it (I would hope so). Not something I would do often, regular spanking seems to work just fine.


Kamunyak
I personally more kids need to be spanked.... I don't condone abuse... but spanking your kids is not abuse...


capnbilly
using an object other than youre hand will probably land you in jail if the child complains to a teacher or school

corporal punishiment is a tough one, you should never do it when youre angry, but that when you really feel you need to

there are better options in most situations, but ive done it myself too


zipperfootpress
Rating
I will NEVER agree to beating a child, a swat on the bum is fine, but why do objects need to be involved. Tell him to stop looking at the legal aspect of it and start looking at the psycological aspect. Child abuse is never ok, never, never never. A swat is not abuse hitting with an object is.

You don't say how old this child is? I 100% agree with you, children are not objects that we control, they are people we guide and teach, teaching is best done with love not a belt.


Karan
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Definitely not. Visible marks are one thing, it's the ones on the inside that you have to worry about.


celtic_saltire
Rating
Sounds like your ex is the one who should be given a severe as whoopin with the belt she uses on the child, she is a crazy be-atch! Report her to the child protection agency ASAP.


Tehseen B
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Come on... Is it only LEGAL OR NOT what is important.?.....NO whooping will damage her psychologically ,which some times leaves mark on the whole life of a person.Think for another punishment which may be more effective


Brigid McSomeone
Rating
In this day and age, it can be used against you. "If it doesn't leave a mark" is old. If a kid goes to school and gripes about his punishment, they will write it down and report it to CPS regardless of any marks. CPS can wreak a lot of havoc in your life even if they don't have any strong evidence such as what would be needed in criminal court. It's best not to take the chance!


Perfectwings
Rating
No you aren't allowed to use any objects to hit your child!!!!!!!! :(


Tx Guy
Rating
your ex is looking at the external damage instead of the emotional damage. Tell him that he is causing more damage than good by the way he views his disciplining


SCUZE-ME
Wow. You're going to stir up a hornets nest with this question.

I do not think it's legal to hit anyone with anything. It is called domestic violence. This day-n-age you may be punished by the law if you do so.

Now, with that said there were times when I had to "get my sons attention" with a little swat on the rear end WITH MY HAND. He's 19 now and is no worse for the wear. But he knew I meant business when he pushed me too far.

My father, on the other hand, whooped all 5 of us kids with a belt AND left marks. We were not abused nor was it called abuse 40 years ago. It was called discipline.

Personally, I think there are much better ways to discipline your children than hitting them. Doesn't that just teach them that when someone wrongs them it's OK to beat them (as long as you don't leave marks?).


Ramona H
i'm not a fan of the belt at all. listen. children mess up its what they are suppose to do. but, in the end they respect you and want to please you essentially. just a smack on their bumb with your hand and a stern look on your face is enought to snap that them to attention. hitting your children hard doesnt earn their respect of you it only makes them scared of you.

when they are having trouble in school they wont come to you because they are scared to tell you. whether its coz they messed up or because someone is hurting him/her and they are afraid that you will do something rash.

when the child gets older, instead of him/her confiding in you for solution to problems they will moste definetly go behind your back and mess up even more.

i'm just saying to try to form a relationship where there is respect for one another comming from both ends

remember children dont think the way you and i do. their logic only goes to a certain degree. what you find discipline they interperate it as why is my dad hurting? does he love me? he must hate me.

so just becareful to how you chose to dicipline your child.

now here's the thing. yes, it is illegal to hit your child out in public. school is concidered public. if your child go's to school with welts on his/her butt. and its found out. through her not being able to sit down comfortably and the child complaints about it. best be sure you will get into a LOT of trouble. believe me you will. if your child tells the school teacher or even a friend and it get's back to the nurse or principle. believe me you'll find DSS at your door.

parents are not as free as they use to be. for good reason. some parents (not saying u) get out of control at times.

so just be careful and love your baby's

i'm sorry i just reread the question. its your wife.
listen, i dont advocate people pushing their weight around but, your the man of the house hold put your foot down and say NO to your wife. the bread winner rules the house. this meaning that you dont be pushy all the time but, with this Yup put your foot down.

good luck hope this was helpful


jeweln1fan
Rating
As long as you don't fisically hurt them is ok. If you hit them without the intention of hurting them they will feel terrible just because mom or dad are angry and that will suffice. is very important to tell them the why in order to clarify the purpose of your actions.
If you really hurt them then it will be emotional scars.


staymay
Rating
Yes it is legal as long as it's not over the top. A cop told me this and a middle school counselor (hit em on their but)
My friend says ...If you dont want to leave a mark soak the belt or the kid in water first.


kt
look beat your kids just don't go over board cause if u don';t beat ur kids there gonna grow up do somethin stupid n someone else gonna beat them n u might not like how it end so raise them right n beat that @$$ my parents beat mines grownin up n i have a masters n never been to jail


Just me.
is there something else you can do that doesn't require physical punishment ?

like reinforcement ?


ghjghj
i think it is wrong if u leave a mark a little tent of pink is ok but if there is a red or purple color then its abuse if there is a bruise then thats just wrong. when i was a kid my parents would hit me and leave marks and i know how it feels soo yes it is conciderd abuse you can talk to ur kids but dont yell or hit them it doesnt proove a point


KK
Wow.. you should NEVER whoop your kids with anything.. i dont believe in whooping a kid!. period. Time out,or talking to them and telling them they done something wrong and explain works better then whooping a kid.. Take their phone for a day or two or dont let them watch T.V. but theres no need to whoop a kid. Most likely if you just sit down and talk to them they wont do it again,and if they do take something they like for 2 days or something; but dont whoop them. It really doesnt help it just makes them mad and want to do it even more.





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