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Mutt
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Does it matter if he pays or if his mother pays? Either way, you are getting the money that the court says you are due to help you raise your daughter.
So what do you do? If you are a spiteful, vindictive type person, you will take him for everything the court says he owes. If you are a decent person, you will tell the court that his mother had paid for him. |
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hillsareheaven
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You should be honest and say what support you have received. However, his mom should be paying the support through the child support enforcement agency that way it is credited. |
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shutuppauface
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That's hiLARious. If his mom didn't ask for a cash receipt when she gave you the dough and he really does still owe three years in back support, I say let the courts do to him what they will.
He sounds like a total loser.
EDIT:
You can either protect his mom or protect your child. It's a very, very easy choice. |
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danielle
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You said it your self he is a dead beat, if you go to court and tell them he paid then he will never ever ever help you with your daughter. If you do decide to say anything be truthful and let the courts know that his mom has been helping you. Who every said there was any thing wrong with a grandmother helping her grandchild....Don't let him get away with it...raising a child is not easy and it doesn't get any easier having only one income..you need to make him responsible and not give him the easy way out |
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..Nay..Nay..
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your getting the money... leave it alone |
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Lady Kay
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In most states you going to the court and telling them that his mother has been giving you money in cash on his behalf, will make no difference. Anything given outside the court system, including cash, is considered a gift and not support. If his mom wants to continue paying his child support, which shouldn't matter to you as long as you are receiving the support, then she needs to take the cash down to your local child support enforcement office for them to apply the payment. |
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cassie3541
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that's very sweet of his mom to pay you, but he's a grown man now and needs to accept his own responsibilities. these are the consequences of his actions. if he would have paid you before, he wouldn't have the build up. so i say, you let him repay his debt towards you. it'll be okay. |
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nite_angelica
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How does he owe you 3 years if his mom has been paying it for him? Are you wanting the equal amount all over again?
Sounds like his mom is the only good one out of the bunch.
EDIT: You can't make HIM pay it if she is willing to pay it for him. I don't really see that situation changing for them, if she is willing to do that. |
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MommyToBe91908
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You are getting your money so who cares? You should be more concered with your child than money! |
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trouble_sum81
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Just go to court and do as he askes because it will not matter. Went to court for the same thing and the judge told him even if he had receipts (he didn't) that those are considered cash "gifts" and will not be deducted from the amount owed. |
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southarkansas
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its sounds like the courts are handling the case-let him haul you to court-if he/mom has paid in cash there goes all the proof-no matter whos paying accept the money and live your life and forget him |
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What I Say About Having Friends!
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if his mother has to pay you than ya i would say he is a dead beat. my dad owed a few months of money but that got all settled when i turned 18.
eventually if the money is not paid he is going to have the police go to his house and they will arrest him.
as for his mother paying you, i wouldn't except that because its not her job to support the child that is just her grandchild, she didn't make it he did.
i would give the money back to her and eventually you will see how things work out, he will have to pay it one way or another |
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Slapshot27
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If his mom is paying you them you need to tell the courts he doesn't actually owe you anything. you received your money. it sounds like he owes his mom. |
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★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥
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The mother is choosing to do this for her son - so be it. if thats the life he wants to live - living off the his mother. thats his problem. SHE is choosing to do it - maybe to avoid him going to jail - but, that is the chose SHE is making as a mother - so, let it be. let her continue to pay you because your child deserves this. If she decides to quit doing it - thats also her decision - maybe then he will step up and do it.
I would just go to court - and say what was paid. i would definately let it be known that the MOTHER is paying me, and not him...and see what happens. They might consider her payments a "GIFT". never know how the courts will rule. |
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peppersham
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Let the courts handle it.He is also mistreating his mom badly.She probably doesn't know how to fix it,it is her child after all.Don't lie about moneys received.He will either pay up or go to jail that will fix the problem.I doubt he will go to jail.But he can be ordered to get a job where the state takes the money out and thats what needs doing here.I applaud your ex mother in law but it ain't her job. |
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jl33
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It unforunate that had happened but asked yourself if you really on this guy to continue to be in your life and your kid life. Go on with your life and find a real man who will love you and your daughter as his own. There are plenty of real good man out there. That man would be a father to your daughter. He would love her and you. He would be someone that you and your daughter would be proud to have. That is a man. If the natural father wants you to clear him of child support then requested in return that he would give up his paternity rights as a father until she become a woman. She will decided then. |
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Pysees
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You could go to the court and say that support has been paid, but that does not mean the judge has to accept it. His mom should pay the state if she wants this to go on his behalf. I would get a restraining order against him to where he cannot contact you. Other than that his not getting a job just makes it worse on him. The system is set up for the custodial parent's benefit. |
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God Bless America
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As long as you are getting your money, don't worry about it. If mom wants to support the lazy b(^&()(( for the rest of her life, than that is her problem. If he does still owe you back child support, take him back to court again and again and again until it is resolved. I went through this for 10 years and it is a hard, long process but hang in there. After all, it is for the kids. |
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Margrave
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Check out the latest in new, improved Temporary Restraining Orders. He has no right to harass you or stalk you. Then stop communicating about anything but visitation arrangements. Tell him to take other issues to Child Support Enforcement or the court. |
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Lindsay H
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You could either A.) Be a ***** and teach him a lesson and make him pay those 3 years. B.) Be upfront and calculate how much he really owes by taking out what his mother helped him with. C.) Get all the money from him and help try and give his mother some money back (if she needed it or requested it or something, idk) |
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james h
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You could refuse to spend his mom's money and this would really get even with him or you could seek to be reconcilled to him ...james |
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snjas1
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If it wasn't paid through the cs office, since it was already court ordered, then anything they gave you in cash is considered a "gift". Because of the court order, he is required to make his payments through the cs office, so things like this don't happen, & then anything else he gives you that is not through the cs office is extra on his own free will, a "gift". So "technically" you don't have to tell them he already paid it. But if you want to go in & say, yes he gave me x amount in cash, they will deduct that from his balance. That is completely up to you. It's his own fault for not going through the proper channels, & if he were working this wouldn't be a problem because they would take it straight from his checks. When he does take it to court you could also argue that he has not had a job in however many years, & ask that he be ordered to get one so the support can be garnished. Since it was paid in cash there really is not proof, it's all a he said she said, & he has the burden of proof to show that it was paid. Even if he puts his mom on the stand and she says she gave you cash, the judge will still see it as a gift, since it was not sent through the proper channels. Unless you choose to tell the judge that you considered it payment for his support. Again, it's up to you. He really has no legal standing here. |
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judyarb1945
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Your attorney should be able to do something about this. You need to insist on checks or money orders, so that you can prove things. You cannot prove that she hasn't paid you thousands. Talk to your attorney now. |
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amaldonadojr85
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You could file a lawsuit against the non-custodial parent asking the court to enforce its order. Since he has no job, he could probably be put in jail for not paying. |
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Che
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3 years ago you should have told the court and had them garnish his wages. As long as he isn't violent go after the 3 years back pay too. Then put in a college fund for your daughter so he'll feel bad if he compains you're being unfair. |
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katzcream
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If he has no receipts he has no proof, but don't tell him that eh!!
If his mom pays then don't worry at least someone is, as for the back payments you'll have to get the court to take it off him every week as he wont give it to you, try to keep it civil though because he doesn't pay and doesn't want a job doesn't mean he wont look after his daughter when she is with him he will still love her the same, good luck with it sounds like you may have a struggle getting any money out of him.
This all sounds really familiar as well i really feel for you, sounds like he resents your daughter and in good time your daughter will See this and make up her own mind about seeing him. |
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JonnyMnemonic
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you're getting the money.. what's your problem. complainer |
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Heisenberg
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Nothing, be grateful that you get the payments.
The person who hands you the payment isnt important and it is, quite frankly, none of your business as to what he has worked out with his family to traffic money to you.
There are many of thousands of possible reasons as to why the money comes from his mother including the possibility that he might be a deadbeat.
If, however, you have been receiving money all along, then it is your responsibility to communicate that to the courts. If you fail to do this, then you are a disgusting human being. |
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GoVols
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i wish i could help, but as long as you are getting the money i wouldnt worry where it was coming for. you could consult a lawyer and ask them what can be done. there are millions of fathers that skip out on child supposrt in the counrty and most of the time the court system doesnt care. |
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