My husband is cheating how can i ensure my future is secure?

dog lover

hahahahahahahahaha

oh please give amanda the tenpoints, she had me rolling.....

sometimes laughter is the best medicine...
along with a little booze

p.s. your husband is a loser. get a FEMALE attorney. they kick ***

Dirty Martini

Keep your mouth shut. Say nothing to him. Dont give him a hint or clue about your suspicions.

Then hire a private investigator and a lawyer.

If your story is as presented (39 yrs, you put him thru medical school)....honey, you just wrote you own ticket.

Play it smart though. Reveal plans to NO ONE. Not family, not friends, NO ONE.

Except that attorney and a PI

Good luck and GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yummymummy

First of all don't panic. If you really suspect him and you wan to know, you could hire a private investigator. But don't let on in any way shape or form that you know he is cheating. Trust me, all lies come to light sooner or later. He will eventually let the cat out of the bag, if not on purpose then by accident. However, before you confront him, or he confronts you, secure yourself. Open a bank account (don't tell him, or try to find a way to start stashing money away, weekly if possible. Make up some bogus excuse like, a family friend or relative is in dire straits and you need X amount of money to help them out. However, and whenever, you can get as much money as possible, do it. This may however, take months for you to acheive. Plan properly, sit down and brainstorm on your options, if your not already working, look for a job. Find out how much rent is in your area. Plan properly before you open up a can of worms. You may find out he's not even cheating. And, if he's not you are securing yourself just in case. This is a very unpredictable world and you always need a back up plan. Never depend on a man or anyone 100%. What if God forbid he were to pass away tommorow, would you be OK? What would you need taken care of. Sit down, make a plan, and don't let him or anyone else know what your doing. Sometimes, news has a way of getting around. You don't want him tightening his purse strings if he controls the money, before you have a chance to get some. Good Luck!

Stimpson J. Cat

Check out a divorce lawyer. Most of them will be happy to help (and make your husband pay for it). The lawyer can decide if a PI's services are needed.

Dave S

CALL A DIVORCE ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately (or fortunately) depending on what side of the coin your on.......

You get half of the marital assets....

Considering he's graduated Medical school you may not NEED to work.

dirtdabber

You should see a lawyer real soon --If you have been married 39 yrs and he is cheating--- You can have 1/2 of all his assets-and alimony for many years. I hope there are no children involved. Yes, hire a private detective--there are some good ones out there. Make sure you get pictures of everything they find out and whom he is seeing. You will need this in divorce court. If you get the goods on him - that he is in fact cheating!!! (try to settle out of court with a hefty settlement) or else lawyers will eat up all your savings and drag it on until they have all your money that you would have to split. I will advise you to play it cool and don't let him even suspect that you know he is cheating-- When he goes on out of town business trips-- find out where he is going to--and get a plane ticket and just show up at his hotel without warning- never let him know that you know anything--or he will make it harder to find out the truth. Watch his cell phones calls -numbers-- any extra expenses on your credit cards-- a change in his dressing habits- new ways of wearing his hair. Un -explained trips and watch his mail --u.s. and email. I feel so sorry for any one in your shoes-- men are such low down cheats and can't seem to realize when they have a good wife and want to protect their marriage --but then a day will come and they will want to come crawling back when they realize the grass is (not) greener on the other side. don't let him-- he will only do it again!!! been there done that. You have to take care of yourself here--don't give an inch!!! and don't forget his Insurance policies--- stocks and bonds -hidden bank accounts--a good lawyer can find all of this for you.

cabbie

GET THAT ****** FOR EVERYTHING AND TAKE A CRUISE VACATION AND MEET A NEW BOY TOY. TRUST ME!! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

OK_WHATEVER

I would just start screwing around on my own, and see how he likes it.

cheating doesn't ALWAYS have to be grounds for divorce.

I Have Parasites

There is nothing worse than a cheating spouse. It should be a no tolerance policy. You WOULD find ways to make it on your own if you decided to get rid of him. Things would work themselves out. It is not worth staying with scum for the finances. Cheating is wrong and immoral. Sickens me to hear about this kind of thing. I would NEVER even THINK about doing this to my wife. Horrible. Go find a man that wants to be with YOU. Not his secretary.

desperatehw

Can you afford an attorney? I think that would be a better use of your funds than a PI at this point. Perhaps a lawyer can help you figure out what to do or how to structure something out of your joint estate, before he knows you've caught on and starts moving money around and emptying accounts.

Gunny Bill

See a divorce lawyer.

RP McMurphy

I hereby issue the following trolling grades:

Idea: C
Execution: D-

Aunt Doobie

Consult a lawyer.

Chrys

see a lawyer

Ambivalence

It sounds like you want to get divorced, but aren't sure you can afford to. Since you have lots of work experience, you can probably get a job somewhere else. If there are other people who work at his office, maybe one of them can be your reference if the divorce gets too ugly or it seems too weird to put your ex down as a reference on a job application. Your friends may be supportive and help you find a new job when they find out you're getting divorced, too. Networking can be very powerful!

Whether concrete evidence that he's cheating will make a big difference depends on where you live. When I filed for a divorce in Canada I was advised that the only difference would be that I could get a divorce in 3 months instead of 12 if he was cheating (which he wasn't, so it didn't matter anyway.) However, I understand that in the US it can help you get a better settlement. In any case, you're likely to get at least half of everything, including retirement accounts.

rico3151

If your security is totally based on your husband's income at this point, its already too late. Where have you been? Geez...!

Amanda

kill him... then you'll have a life in jail, pretty damn secure

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