My son and his friend have been selling drugs at our door dope ?

mightymax

Well, you can say you used drugs, but you certainly did not SELL drugs, which is an entirely different and charged much more harshly in CA. Anyone caught with an ounce or less of marijuana for personal use will avoid jail time in CA. If you get caught with the same amount of marijuana, but it is intended for sell, the charge is a felony offense and requires jail time!! "Felony possesion of a controlled substance with the intent to distribute" will be the appropriate charge." So, you have to quell this immediately. As for smoking a joint or two on the porch, it is your house and your rules. Do not tolerate his blatant disregard for house rules, let alone legal statute. Harboring negligent behavior will reflect negatively on you, and alienate your neighbors.

parkermbg

with the war on drugs still going on in the united states, penalties have gotten much stiffer. you could lose your home or be charged as an accessory or even for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

forget about his bs about what you used to do back in the day,...he needs to be responsible for his behavior right now!!! (the laws were much more lax when we were kids). make him a stern promise-you find drugs in your home, they get flushed and he gets to find his own place to live immediately!

p.s. if he wants to get off the dope, look into na.org

Please:
if you love your son (which i'm sure you do) then you must take a hard stance NOW to make sure that he does not throw his life away using or selling drugs.
do whatever it takes to make sure that he can not come into contact with substances that can and (unless u do something) will cause serious problems for his physical and mental health. You must be able to trust him when he goes out.
I know that your son will probably tell you he is not addicted to anything, it's his choice, that he just wants you to leave him alone etc etc; but he is not in his right mind, and you must know that once he is clean and gets a job and get married and has a far better life, he will thank you no end.
do you duty please as a mother. even if you have to call the police and enrol him in some kind of rehab. you will never make a more worthwhile decision in your life again

Loyd/Mary P

Tough Love is the only answer . For his own good either kick him our or turn him in . Either way is kind of hard because he is your son , but these times are not the 40 years ago we experienced . Now you can get killed in this sort of activity or worse yet, get someone else killed . TOUGH LOVE , IT'S THE ONLY WAY

marine5

Call a Cop...
Before they drag you in as an accessory...

K W

You only have two options to 'prevent' it from happening at your house.

1. Kick him out
2. Call the police on him

Heard of tough love? Well, it is time to give it a try!

Ingrid

Tell him,excuses are not acceptable. And what counts in Life is that we learn and pass on what we have learned so that future generations
do not make the same mistakes and stay out of difficulties.

You may take him to a Drug Rehab Center and show him the
problems drugs can create.
Show that you care about him deeply and that you are in charge of his life for the time being at least.

MenifeeManiac

Tough Love Approach: Threaten to call the cops, and call the cops next time a transaction occurs.

Real Love Approach: Stage an "intervention", inviting all of your son's family members and former friends in order to place your son into rehab, and come to grips with his problem. Let your son know how much you love him, and how everyone misses the former wonderful person he was, before he allowed drug addiction to ruin his life.

Good luck!

local way

People also owned slaves prior to 1865, but that stopped to. You might have to kick him out. I know you love him. That's harsh, I know, but you have to focus on your options with him.
If you want to take the route of explaining things to him...explain that times are certainly different. Not only will he go to jail, but you will as well as an accessory. How is that going to look for you at work--if you still can have employment or if you do get fired...try getting a job with a record of drug possession/use.

Big Daddy

have you thought about the cops kicking in your door and you losing your house and maybe your freedom - street the kid - if he's 18 and that's his reason is because you did it - tell him you was living on your own and let him do it

editor@bcdisabilities.com

You're right. Aside from taking it to authorities, there's not much help, is there? Try calling Youth Crisis line for advice. Maybe they have some street advocates who might visit your stoop and explain to your son the very real penalties involved in a conviction, including the limitations imposed by criminal record. Also, seek out a Drug Policy Advisory group in your state for information. The theory is that the 'war on drugs' isn't working, so many states are revisiting drug laws in an effort to stop kids like your son before it's too late. It's worth a try, anyway.

Windy

That is tough. There isn't much you can do except for having him busted. You don't say how old he is, that would make it easier. If he is under 16, you can try all the drug programs, get child services involved. They'll threaten him with foster homes and programs if he doesn't smarten up. If he's older you have options. Throw him out. Not allowed in your house. If he smokes or deals, he's out. Period. Simple. You can also go through his room, personal stuff, anything in your house, you can search and flush down the toilet.

There is going to be a lot of fighting, you may not win, but since you are the adult, you won the home, it's Your rules. Good Luck. It's going to be a long brawl.

Doin what I do best (â“£â“”â“— Klan)

Kick him out till he says he'll stop.

my husband's wife

I'm sorry, but isn't it a little late to discipline your son? The best way to prevent it is call the police on him and give him a big scare when he gets arrested,

darryl g

I suggest you take a tough love position, either he stops selling and using drugs in your house or he needs to get to find his own place. He's not showing you any respect as a parent and provider then the choice is very clean. I sure it is not an easy one to make. You might want to put him some sort of program for troublle teens. Hope you make the right decision?

BigNorsk

If your house is being used to sell drugs, the DEA could confiscate it.

Now I would think that maybe you have set the stage for your son's attitude. Not so much by using drugs 40 years ago but by the attitude about it that you have displayed.

Obviously, it doesn't seem that your attitude was that you were an absolute idiot to do so. And that has been transmitted to your son. So he wants to move up the drug ladder a bit from where you were.

His attitude is probably in large part a reflection of yours. Just now when it could make life difficult for you, then you don't like it.

Now if you are over 50 years old which you must be if you were "experimenting" 40 years ago, and you haven't really got a clue now how to tell and get your son to stop it. I'm not sure exactly when you are going to grow a backbone. It's likely too late. Maybe a life of smoking a bit of weed and not really caring too much?

If your son is old enough, kick him out. Let him know it's unacceptable behavior. You say you told him, why do you believe he won't believe you? Is it because you threaten things and don't do them?

I would start by being honest with yourself at least. Quit minimizing things by saying you only experimented. I wouldn't even try to split hairs over I was a user but you are selling. Get to the drugs are bad, drugs are illegal, we are going to respect the law in this house and if you decide you won't this isn't your house, though I will love you, it isn't going to be my role to support financially so you can do illegal, stupid things.

You'd be surprised how strong it would be if you actually believed that.

Marv

DeweyWatermelon

Talk to him about what you did and explain to him why it was wrong for you to do drugs. If you can, talk to a prison or jail and ask if you can arrange for your son to meet with people who were drug dealers. You want people to talk to him and see how wrong that is. That may open up his eyes through reality.

The bottom line is that you are the parent, and you tell him to stop, period. There are no buts. If his "friends" come out there, you call tell them to never come back or you'll call the cops.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Get him drug tested, and then put him in rehab. You didn't give his age. You say you're sick of his attitude, and you don't see that your son is sick. He is addicted to drugs, and you are worried about his attitude.
Stop talking and whining, and do your duty as a parent. it doesn't matter how old he is, he is your son.

Cherokee

You need to call the police on your son and his friend. If you do not, you may be charged as an accessory for it going on. Plus neighbors may already have complained and you may have Vice watching already. You would not want the DEA or Vice to make a raid on your home.

Bullwinkle

Tell him that, "yes I did, and now I'm older and wiser. My parents did not oppose me because they did not know enough to. I know, and because I know, I am opposed to you doing drugs. You can and you will make your own mistakes. Don't repeat mine."

Legend in your own mind!

Personally calling the police only guarantees this young man will go to prison and probably spend years being raped by gangs of mostly black monsters. (Not a racist comment, just truth) If you can live with that for selling drugs I hope you find a way to not burn in hell yourself.
Sit this idiot down and explain exactly what will happen to him if he continues. Here's a link that if it doesn't scare the living shlt out of him nothing will. http://www.loompanics.com/Articles/RapeInPrison.html
Then there is Human Rights Watch with many more links and very brutal examples.
http://www.hrw.org/legacy/reports/2001/prison/

I know you don't like it, but I would much rather you educate this young man than to completely throw his life away for a fist full of dollars. I hope you have a heart and actually care about your son and your son's friend so sit them down and make them read these links. I can almost guarantee it'll make him think very strongly about his actions. When I read those links they make my blood chill sitting here beside a heater and makes me want to mess my pants thinking about it. It might have the exact same effect on him. I'm 49 yrs old and have been in jail on numerous occasions so I know what I'm talking about.
Congress passed and Bush signed into law the prison rape elimination act, but the law has no teeth until more laws are enacted, hopefully in the next administration, but that is yet to be seen.
40 years ago it was a slap on the wrist. That slap is more like a very hard and brutal kick in the anus with a tree limb now.
Don't let them get away without reading it. It WILL wake them up and this isn't just a case of "scared straight". It's the reality of prison for young men today.

morstar150

Kick him out and tell him to get hs life together.

Latrisha G

the only advice i can give you ,is to hope for the best. you put him out he may never speak to you again. But i do think that you should lay down the rules with him. because if you don't he is going to run over you and never take you seriously. but i wouldn't call the police. this is a family problem.

Will S

if he is younger then 18 i would sugest calling a cop so he gets the taste of what could happen if he were to do it again....hell be so scared and it will finally hit him that what he is doing is very very serious and could ruin his life and hell stop

john l

You're in an unfortunate situation where your son is using your candor about your past against you. You probably confided in him in a moment of friendship, but you're more his supervisor and anyone ever in a position of management knows that's why you don't fraternize with underlings.
Anyone who does drugs for any length of time IS A DEALER even if they don't realize it, because they end up scoring for their friends, who might be getting ripped off by other people- so your son doesn't see it as ethically bad if he's treating them fairly AND it ends up being a form of socializing for him, that he may have been lacking before.
So you aren't going to get far with the "scared straight" propaganda, he's not out robbing banks- you told him it was okay to do drugs and he took the next step and is now providing an honest service for his friends. (I'm not defending criminal activity but allowing you to see it the way he probably does)
I think a way to address this might be to pursue replacing these things he's providing for himself, the monetary and socializing benefits. Steer him into gainful employment, a line of work that might be a way to meet or be around people his own age, and make friends. I know that sounds like a dream job, but hey, if you think calling the cops is a great idea, you're just going to send him down that road to prison yourself.
Drugs in and of themselves, should not be criminal, unless we want to make everyone who abuses a substance an inmate. By putting them in jail we make that next step into real criminal activity much easier.

billy p

are you scared of your child??? you are the parent..if he can sell dope he can find a place to stay......when the robbers come to rob them and you are there and you know nothing about the drugs or the money.......who gets SHOT,who DIES??? I will never let my child dictate my life,especially when he LIVES AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!!! WHY SO WEAK???CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE THEM TO TALK TO THEM!! LIKE I TOLD MY SON IF YOU GO TO JAIL DO NOT CALL ME!!,AND COVER YOUR *** WHILE IN THERE YOU ARE NEW MEAT

Pat F

Throw him out and turn him in. He gets caught dealing from your house and you knew it you lose the house.

STAZILLA

If ya cant beat 'em ... join 'em

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