Question about Child support and Visitation?
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Question about Child support and Visitation?
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I left my daughter's dad a little over 6 months ago. He hasn't seen her for about 5 months, and the last time I had to bring her to him.
He hasn't paid for child support, and there is no order for visitation or support. But he's sent me about 5-6 text messages asking to see her over the last 2 months, and he expects me to bring her to him at his work. I live out of state, about 400 miles away from him, but am in the process of moving back, and spend a lot of weekends in the same town as him, but I haven't brought my daughter to see him.
Does anyone know if he has the right to demand that I bring her to him at work?
And can I file for child support without having to grant him visitation?
According to the state I can't get daycare assistance without it, otherwise I wouldn't even bother.
I really don't want him to have anything to do with her because he's completely unreliable and will walk in and out of her life as he pleases; he has a terrible temper that he likes to take out on things that can't fight back, usually small animals; he has gotten drunk the few times I allowed him to babysit her or left her in a play pen in soiled diaper until I got home from work; and he now smokes weed just about every day.
He also has other children that he never sees and they just live across town from him, so I don't know why he's trying so hard with this child, or if he just wants to harass me, since he sends a lot of "please forgive me" messages too.
Anyone have any thoughts or ideas?
Thanks in advance.
Additional Details
I actually don't want money out of him at all, but I need assistance with daycare, and to get that the state goes after him to pay for it I guess. The people I talked to at the state office said that since he doesn't pay he would be obligated to pay a portion of whatever they help with for daycare. I wish I didn't have to at all, but I really can't afford $200 a week for daycare, on top of all the other expenses, and most of it will be covered by my student grant/loans.
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acidBURN
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All parents have the right to visitation, unless the court specifically denies or limits visitation somehow. You don't have the authority to deny or limit visitation and if you do, then he can take you to court over this and will likely win some form of visitation. That doesn't mean that he can force you to take her to his place of work. Rather, if he wants to exercise his visitation rights, then it is up to him on making it happen.
Visitation and child support are two separate issues, and one is not contingent upon the other. You can (and should) file for child support, but understand that even if he fails to pay, that doesn't give you the right to deny visitation. Again, only the court can deny or limit visitation. If you want to use his drug habit, past alcohol use, behavior etc as a reason to justify limiting visitation, then know that the burden of proof is on you to prove not only that he does drugs and has abusive behavior (the judge isn't going to just take your word for it) but that limiting visitation is in your child's best interest. It can be done, but is not an easy or quick process by any means. |
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mandistoy4runner
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I understand your fustration. My husband has 2 kids with an exwife. Personally if You think about your daughter and how it will affect her in the LONG run. She will grow up and be mad at you because she didnt know her father, but if you allow visitation and he fails to take the time to see her thats on him. Let him be the bad guy if he chooses. I would allow him to see her but I would NOT be the trasportation though. He should pick her up if he wants to see her. Maybe getting a visatation order would be the best because you can say no drugs or achole in his system at time of visit. and have certain times and such to make your life easier.
As far as child support order I'm not sure depnds on the state as to what has to happen. I live in washington and they have a "parenting plan" instead of visitation no one has custody. but because my husband was divorced in Arkansas we dont have a washington "plan" and they still enforce the chlid support. So I would say no you dont need a visitation schedule to get money out of him. Good luck and remember it's about the chikd and how it will affect them in the long run. Even though it makes you cringe at the thought of her having to spend time with him> |
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