We often hear about domestic violence when the man is the violator. Does this mean men are never the victim?

shell

A suprising number of victims of domestic violence are men but they report it far less often than women due to embarrassment and fear that they wouldn't be believed

cantcu

I see women arrested all the time for domestic violence and domestic restraining orders placed on them!

Much of the time it is men, who are usually drunk, using their superior strength on a female and her children!

Both groups have been victims and it is true that men have less resources available to them for domestic violence issues!

rick_wenham

Speaking as a police officer, I have seen domestic violence directed at a male partner, granted not as often as with a female victim, it does however happen, it doen not get reported as much as it occours or as much as it should because some men feel ashamed to be the victim of verbal or physical abuse where the attacker is their female partner. It no lesser an offence, but there are more support organisations for female victims of domestic violence. Most men cant even tell their male friends because of bravado.

In short yes men are victims of domestic violence

burnettebreeze98

NO! Many times men are the victims. You don't hear about this as often because it is not reported as often. Men don't want society to view them as "weak." Many abused men feel they will be viewed this way if anyone were to find about it. In fact, there are even shelters for them to go to just like there are for women, but not as common.

lippz

Working with victims of Domestic Violence, I see both male and female victims...albeit the majority are females.

I think men have difficulty in reporting Domestic Violence on them, probably a matter of pride.

Its a sad state of affairs!

Â§â˜ºÄ»Ä»Å·

No. Men are often the victim. If you think violence against women goes un-reported, imagine how many men are unwilling to come forward.

taxidriver

No it goes both ways.

Foghorn

I have been attacked by a woman to whom I was close. I am 5ft 7 in tall, I weigh 15 stone, have a forty-eight inch chest and I do weights. I had to let the woman draw blood from me before I called the police. Otherwise, who would believe that a beefcake like me could have trouble from a woman smaller and weaker than me.

We have girl-gangs going around my town picking on men walking alone. I travel about at night by taxi now, because if I was walking and was attacked by such a gang, I could probably knock the lot of them into the proverbial ****** hat. But then, I would have to try to prove that I did not use 'excessive force'. Were it a bunch of men that attacked me, I would probably be lauded for my bravery in fighting them all off.

Male yobboes worry me not. Females scare me to death, because they can always claim they were justified in whatever they do because I'm a big bloke.

Violence is violence, from whatever source it emenates.

RUTH M

Think it works both ways, but in my experience it's usually the man who pushes the woman into retaliating. xx

Karen

Domestic violence against men goes unrecognized for the following reasons:
The incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.
The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable to most people that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.
The counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women. Not enough has been done to stop abuse against women. There has been very little investment in resources to address the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.
In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others.
Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them. It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports. Women generally don't do those things.

jewelking_2000

No but its rarer. I personally dismissed a man for stealing from us. I knew it was out of character and found out he was being moonlighting as a taxi driver and being bullied by his wife and son.

dave p

have a friend ,whos wife will beat him up ,smash vases over his head,if hes late home from work she says hes having an affair ,when they go shopping he can't speak to check out woman for fear of a public attack off his wife ,trips to a and e are odd the excuses he gives to the medical staff, but what man would admit to being beaten by his wife.

Imaka

Men don't tend to report domestic violence as often as women do. Possibly fewer men are victims of domestic violence, but it certainly does exist. My brothers and sisters and I watched our father being abused all throughout our childhood. Both our parents have passed away now, and we realize that our mother had serious mental health problems. But men and women both have always been victims of domestic violence.

RoxieC

It never reaches the news because men never want to admit they are being abused or that a woman is committing domestic violence against them because it takes away some of their self esteem of being a man. There was a case where a little boy was beaten and killed. The mother made the husband just throw the boy in the backyard and this guy did say it was because of his wife.

Ferret

Of course they are....but the media don't consider it 'news worthy'. There are no votes in it so the Politicians don't want to know about it. Women's groups don't care. So you never hear about it

Heron By The Sea

I know for a fact that men can also be the victim of domestic violence. I even know of a man who was such a victim. But he never reported it, and I would be willing to bet that most men would also not report it if it happened to them. I think our society might look down on men who reported domestic violence against them, because of the feeling that men are supposed to be the stronger one.

Quizard

No, a lot of the time the man is the victim, not as much as women but the true figures of male victims are not known because they are not reported due to social attitudes.

RScott

Men are the victims of Domestic Violence, for the reasons already mentioned by other users. HOWEVER; here is something I think the other responders missed:

A lot of it has to do with the cops. When a male cop arrives on a domestic violence crime scene, and finds a woman crying pointing at her husband screaming, "He hit me, He hit ME!" LOL...It doesn't matter who hit who. The one with the male organs is guilty. Period. Even if the man didn't touch anyone, he is still going to jail.

MÃ¡irtÃn

Erin Pizzey, the founder of the first women's shelter in the UK, stated that many of the women in her shelter where more violent that the husbands they were seeking refuge from, and she is famously quoted as saying "men are gentle, honest and straightforward, women are convoluted, deceptive and dangerous". She recognised the need for men's shelters, but she couldn't raise the necessary funds to start any. It was her great regret that the movement she started became increasingly politicised, and less concerned with the welfare of battered spouses.

It's not really hard to understand why this happened; women constitute the majority of the vote in Western countries, so any politician, male or female, who takes an interest in "women's causes" increases their chances of getting into office enormously. Even the most altruistic politician wants to get into office first and fore-most. That is why it is such a political hot-potato, and also why you don't hear about female instituted domestic violence as much - there is no political capital to be gained from exploiting it.

Have you ever heard of the Fiebert bibliography? It is a collection of the findings of hundreds of studies on domestic violence. It's summary was:

"This bibliography examines 196 scholarly investigations: 153 empirical studies and 43 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 177,100." (link below)

Personally, I don't know of any men who have not been physically attacked in one way or another by a woman; just because men are generally bigger, it doesn't mean that it's not violence.

I mention all this not to try and show that woman are nasty and evil, or that men are all sweetness and light, but merely to show that it's a very complicated issue, and it's certainly not as simple as "men=bad, women=good" (which is what large portions of the media would have you believe).

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