8 years together, now he says he doesn't love me

lisainredditch

Good advice is sometimes unpalatable but u must stay strong. Acting desperate and pathetic to him is NOT going to make u look attractive. That's for sure.

Now is the time to focus on your own well-being. Take this opportunity to turn your life around for the better. When u can make it, he'll admire you and who knows might even want you back at a later date (you might have moved on by then and not want him back).

One thing for sure, if you stay obsessed with this situation, you will be pushing him further away. You want his love, not his pity.

Every time u feel the urge to obsess, listen to some relaxation music or a hypnotherapy recording to take your mind to a different level.

Please visit http://www.zest4best.co.uk/advice.htm I think you will find some very useful advice there.
.

biatcho

If he has lost that loving feeling then theres not much point trying, thats the way he feels and nothing can change that. you are both better calling it quits now.

fi â™

seems you have already tried to get it back
and he says he doesnt love you
sadly i think you have to admit its time to let each other go

jtwb568@yahoo.com

I think that there is more to it than money. While I completely understand that money can influence many things in a relationship. But unless he got with you for money, there is more to his falling out of love with you than your loss of income due to medical reasons! Carefully examine all of this. It seems to me that the two of you need to have a very open and frank conversation about the end of your relationship. you need some closure if nothing else sweetie. That will be a way to get to the bottom of why he really fell out of love. That is something that takes time, it doesn't happen over night at all.

Good luck and sorry about the end of the realationship!!!

Mean Carleen

You can not control his feelings. HE has to want to try to make it work.Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

David B

Probably not. Start living your life for you and if it happens it happens. Doesn't sound good.

Daydream

if because your in debt and now he claims he got no feelings for you...he probably really mean it...

i dont think a guy should leave you when your in debt and also need concern besides you're ill...

at this point of time you shouldnt think of getting back together because he dont want to stay with you over this crisis..

even if he do still love you... but he dont want to get back with you... so do you think if you get back together you'll feel great ?

maybe not for now.... why not just clear everything up like the debts and get yourself well, get back to work and then try getting back...

he probably feel lost because of all the problems in between you guys right now... and he also might be frustrated...

try live on your own for now... maybe in the end you feel that you dont need him as much as you think...

take care sweety

Liz

How do you figure your financial situation has anything to do with him falling out of love with you? People can be dirt poor and still love each other. He just stopped loving you, period. Face the facts and move on.

free_angel

If you were smart, you wouldn't set yourself up by this man ever again. Move on, he's made his feelings perfectly clear.

bluelitttt

looks like you may not be able to save this marrage
but i wish you all the luck

Carl S

Well, consider that if you had a traditional ceremony, you did promise to be with each other "...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." If he won't commit to you, even after trying the time apart, maybe try counseling. If he won't go, do it yourself. You'll be able to then make a decision on whether you feel it's worth the work to try, when he is telling you that there's nothing there now is worth it.

Personally, I'd say move on, you deserve better. Someone to support you no matter what.

Oh, and as Dr. Phil says, "The only thing worse in being in a bad relationship for 6 months, is being in one for 6 months and a day."

Good luck!

mmedina96

love isnt a one way street if he deosnt feel the same you cant force him to love you

sparrow

I'm sorry, but no, I don't think you are going to get it back. I don't think that you not working for a year has changed his feelings for you. If it is the reason, do you really want to stay with a man who can only love you for the money you bring in? Lack of money in a relationship does make a difference, as it will change your lifestyle. It should not, however, change the love you have for each other.
If you have already tried to bring back the spark, and he does not think it worth trying any longer, I think you should accept his decision, as hard as that may be for you. I am sure that in the future you will meet someone who will love you regardless of whether you are bringing in any money or not.

jessy c

I honestly think there is no use wanting to make it work. You'll only end up hurting yourself more. Accept it and move on.

â™¥**â€¢.Â¸Â¸verbalkintâ™¥**â€¢.Â¸Â¸

no its time to say goodbye and move on,

jackie m

you cant make someone love you - let him go.

shiva

no sorry love that happened i don't think you can get it back.just be happy that he told you the truth and you guys are not married just move on.even if you try it will be shy and you will always have it at the back of your mind.

Sara J

Nope, once you start to see a person in a different light you cant see them in the romantic light you once saw them. Even though you may still love this person, its best just to let go. Completely.

Very Honest

I couldn't believe what I was reading, because I've been married for 8 years and 3 years ago, I had to leave my job because of a medical reason and we were definitely affected financially. We would have been very wealthy if this didn't happen, but the only difference is my husband stuck by me through this whole thing.

He definitely hate the situation, but he does see how upset and how disappointed it has made me. I complain that I need a job and I'm not going to waste alot of time in my life. He tells me not to worry about it, something will change and things will get better.

I really think in your situation it has alot to do with how the marriage was going. Were you showing him that you were okay with your medical condition, that it didn't matter? Were you just sitting around the house doing nothing all day? Did you communicate with him about it, or did you both sort of go your separate ways?

I have so many questions that I wish I could ask you, but I think there is still hope. It just matters so much how things changed, from the time you met him until now. What did he originally fall in love with? Deep down, you know if it can work. Follow your feelings. I wish you all the luck. God Bless

twentyseven6

Tough one! Must very difficult to get your head round whats happening. Debt and illness can put a hell of a strain on any relationship and he may be feeling confused and depressed about the situation. 2 weeks isn't a long time to try to sort out how you feel and his reaction of saying there is no point in trying might just be down to the immediate relief of the worries that have been troubling him. I know it's hard but you need to step back and give him some room to miss you - if you hassle him too much you'll just drive him further away.
Good luck x

leanne b

you should stop blaming yourself and stop making excuses for him.

have you asked him why he has fallen out of love for you?
if he says he doesn't know then tell him that after 8 years together you deserve an explaination also you need to know so that if or when you eventually meet somebody else you won't make the same mistakes again.

are you sure he hasn't met somebody else?

you sound like you really love this man but if he doesn't feel the same then it really is over.
write a list of bad things about your ex so that you don't just remember the good times. also a good book is women are from venus and men are from mars.(breaking up) it helps you through the different stages of healing your heart.

i know it doesn't seem like it now but take it one day at a time.
look forward you've got a new chapter of your life ahead.

good luck

chels20092000

im so sorry hon,it really sounds as if he has made the decision,have you tried talking it over with him??there must be more reasons you dont just fall out off love,im sorry to ask this but is there any one else in his life,,,,and if you say its because your out off work now due too medical reasons,that is not good enough,he should support you at these times,,,i think you should think about moving on,good luckxxx

AMY S

nope because he doesnt feel like that for you not even love, so it cant be regained , theres nothing to cultivate if there is no seed.......good luck focus on you now..........

*T*I*N*K*E*R*B*E*L*L*

sweety, i'm so sorry to hear all that. Sounds like u guys have faced a lot of problems but relationships do drift apart sometimes. ur partner must have experienced a lot of hurt too seeing you so depressed. he's probably been so emotionally drained after the whole thing he will feel like he has nothing left.
Maybe you both need much more time. A month may not have been long enough. it could still work, even if you wait a long time. i'm an old romantic so i'm guna say hang in there. Maybe one day he will see that he cannot live without u. I beleieve there could still be a chance. Please dont getyour hopes up. dont pester him, beg or anyting, give him space. He may still come round.
i wish u all the luck in the world and i pray u find happiness xx

abby

Just work on yourself and try to get to a good place in your heart. If it works that he is part of it, then great. Honestly, if he is saying all this - I could bet there is another woman waiting for him.

just let him go sounds like everything was good until the money got low.

sassylassy2876

Some thing had to happen besides you loosing a child andmedical problems to cause him to all the sudden loose his feeling for you. That is a copout on his part. He maybe saying that because he has been sleeping around behind your back. If so then that case it is best to let him go. if you never got married after 8 years then it is although hard to let some one go, it ie easy inthe sense no divorce needs to be filed. but if the debt and medical reason is the reason. then the marriage would have been doomed to fail in the fact that a person so be supportive in a time when some one is down. Love is always a working progress. like a garden. so if he really loved you in the first place. then these problem that come about should have been a supportive time and not a time to get imature and start letting things get in his way of loving you. if you aren't married then leave. let him do his thing if it was ment to be he will come to his senses but don't sit around and wait for him to do so. If he wants to end it then let him. You can't make some one love you if they don't. I would find some one who would know to love and honor and cherish and through the good and the bad through richer or for poorer. not time some thing goes wrong and you out the door.8 years is alot of time to throw away but when he doesn't want to stay there really isn't much to say.Don't beg him to stay. if you make it easy maybe he will come around on his time. just benice about it. don't push it. how ever my therory of his cheating may be true too. don't ask him. if he doesn't tell you don't ask. if you see him a month later and he is with some one then you might be able to know then. but some one doesn't just fall out of love with some one competely. so some thing went wrong withhim and the comunication went out the door some time ago.

arlvsrf

been there! once the sparks gone, you can get it back (i did) but its never the same, y im leaving mine!

aliquis_venum

This is hard to say but you're already there waiting. He is the only one who have to go back. The fact he said it isn't worth trying as there is nothing in his heart sums it all up. You are waiting for nothing. I really don't believe in falling out of love only that the person you thought love you never actually love at all. When someone loves you, even through the hardest times will stay by your side. My relationship with my wife is not perfect. We have problems including about money that even lead to breaking up but we never do because I always look inside my heart and I know I love her far more than all the problems that have come and will come in the future. After we kiss and make up, we loved each other even more. We worked together to face our problems whatever it may be. We consult each other ideas and plans what is best for both of us.

sparky

maybe it can. if u can get him to remember all the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place. i think its a good idea to start dating again, leave all your problems at home and go out together and have fun like you used to do, reminding each other of all the things you liked about each other and why you were so good together.
i think its worth a shot as it may just be the stress of your lives driving you apart.
if he doesnt feel anything for you after that, then its time to move on but i definitely think there could still be hope.
Good luck x x

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: