A few days ago I had an intervention done on my wife and she went into rehab for alcoholism.?

woman of faith

As she is learning how to live without drinking, you, too, would benefit from a 12 Step program called Al-Anon. Ask the "family counselor" at her rehab where those meetings are.

There are also "open" Alcoholics Anonymous meetings where visitors (non-alcoholics) are welcome, as long as you respect others' anonymity. Just be sure it is an "open" AA meeting and not a "closed" meeting.

If her rehab offers a family program or night, go to them. You will be better able to see your own issues and understand why you, as well as your wife, got "payoffs" from her drinking.

Then, when she gets out of rehab, you will both have your own programs that will complement each other's recovery. God bless.

Lioness

Hopefully if she is in a residential program, she will learn the 12-step program and a lot more. She will be taught how to take responsibility for her own recovery and for her past behaviors. She will learn about alcoholism and about recovery. She will gain the support she needs, learn how to deal with cravings, how to cut through her denial, etc. If you only want to know about what the 12 Steps entail, go to this website: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/en_pdfs/smf-121_en.pdf

Now I need to ask you a question: What are YOU willing to learn while she is in rehab? Do they have family groups there? If so, are you going to go? I would strongly suggest you go to every group you can. In addition, I would encourage you to start attending Al-Anon, a community support group for family members of alcoholics. You need to learn and do as much as she does, if you want to get yourself in order and learn how to be supportive in a healthy manner. Most loved ones are very codependent, despite their best intentions, and that is not a healthy pattern. You both need to be in recovery if you want your marriage to have the best chance. Best wishes to both of you.

Julie S

Well, if she takes the 12 Steps seriously as I did 13 years ago when I got sober, she's about to start a whole new life. I so desperately wanted to quit drinking back then, I was willing to do anything. So I got busy with the 12 Steps. On the other hand, in those early days of recovery, I wanted to drink so bad I could taste it! It is a very, very difficult journey - especially in the beginning days and months of recovery. Be patient with her.

The beauty of the Steps is that, as I progressed through them, I suddenly realized that I craved the peace I felt in my new life MORE than I craved alcohol. When that day came, I was "on my way". I hope your wife has the same experience!

Go to www.new-life-in-recovery.com and read about the 12 Steps from an alcoholic woman's point of view - and how they bring about a changed life.

There is also a page specific to the 12 Steps (and an Ebook in the works...)

Blessings to you both!

p.s. You may also want to look into working the 12 Steps for yourself. Peace and contentment is a GOOD thing for everybody, not just us alcoholics!

Bullet Proof

Sounds like your getting a bunch of crap answers here. Sorry about that. Your best bet is to check out alcoholics anonymous http://www.aa.org

*TiNK*

You probably don't want to hear this.. but she has to want to change for herself. You really cannot help someone if they don't want to help themselves. She could learn a lot from it, or it could all go in one ear and out the other, it just depends on if she really wants to change or not. Believe me, I've been there.

**A**

Why did you force her? Maybe she wasn't ready. The best method for them is to stop when THEY want to. Let her crash, let her get hurt-then she'll learn!

dr. know it all whocan'tspel

its not what she learnes its what you learn.
you two are one.
and if you want her to stop drinking, you also must stop drinking.
and you have to be sobber forever to make her sobber forever.
you have to give up all your friends and relatives sometimes.
or it will never work.
if you want her to sacrafice, you also must sacrafice.

EDIT-- if you don't drink then what the hell are you doing married to a alkie
you must drink. and if you don't then. then it will never work.
so you might as well pack your bags and hit the road.

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