Abusive husband -- verbally, emotionally and physically- should i leave him or wait--already been 18months?

Ashley

LEAVE and don't look back!! There are good men out there who know how to treat women.

m&m

You need to leave him and his dum *** mom what i b*tch she is a woman herself. She should be on your side for putting up with her son(dog). Leave before it gets worst. Because trust me it won't get better. Good Luck with your decision.

one&only<3

you definetely need to leave him and report him to the police. its called spousal abuse. good luck and stay strong

tdev4u

omg, you have to get out, what kind of life do you want for yourself. think about that and then think about what you are doing to yourself. why would you put up with that abuse and 18 mos. is longer than you should have endured. don't waste your life.

Shibi

RUN (do not walk) RUN away from this man, his mother and this marriage. It is not where you want to be now or forever. GO right this second. Good luck.

Hannah_of_Eden

The sooner you leave him the better. Your husband should be your best friend. He should be there to comfort you and love you and compliment you. Don't let him or his mother put you down anymore!

Jambi

It seems to me that no matter what people on here say to you, you are going to stay. 18 months of abuse and you are still there? Most women who have been in a relationship that bad for that long will always stay, usually because they have such low self esteem that they feel they will never find anything better, or they are too afraid to leave. It is very sad, but true. But, you can change that. Listen to the people on here when they tell you to go. Do it. Get out.

Long Live Jambi

all4beingnice

I could cry for you right now. That is how my Aunt Lisa died. I don't want that to happen to you. I know you love him and you want him to change and he probably says sorry sometimes, but guys like that don't change leave him right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luvme4me

girl leave do it for yourself... leave before he hurts you really really bad... and one day he will.. they always do

sexy pumkin

you need to run before this abusif man kill you. why and what are you waiting for. i can tell you to wait but i am not the one taking the punchs and verbal abus. so women be smart run

Beautiful disaster

leave his momma's boy *** before you end up dead

dcarcia@sbcglobal.net

leave him! don't ever settle! you shouldn't have to put up with that.

noodle

leave this abusive creep now!!
have some counselling to learn to love and appreciate yourself and then it will be easier to only expect love and appreication from others.
only put up with good treatment from others, including husbands.
good luck, you only deserve the best.

jude

leave anyone who abuses u in any way, because they don't really love u. maybe they do want to get rid of u because of the dowry. he doesn't act as if he wants u at all, because in marriage one has to be respected, emotionally, and physically safe, loved, treated with dignity, and made a priority. abuse will just make an old lady out of u fast, because odviously you had expectations of the marriage, and thought he loved u, don't stay there, will just ruion your life.

Trese

Don't wait. Get out now. Don't need to be another statistic. You are the victim and need to listen to you. He could be bipolar. You need to do what is right for you. Don't stay in a relationship with all this going on. He needs help and you need to save yourself. If he is the victim, so your parents say, he needs some medical help.

tpgtexasthunder

He sounds Bi Polar.....do you have kids? if not leave NOW

My wife had an EX HUSBAND that is like that...Leave now and go to Women's protective services...

I will say a prayer for you.....

You don't need to take his crap dump the bum.

Mami-Chula

Leave him. He'll never change. I'm speaking from experience. My husband used to treat me like that. Every thing was always my fault. Now, he's lonesome. Without my daughter and I. I have found someone who treats me like a queen.

Arthur W

First, youve got a mommas boy there, and an interfering mother in law. For whatever reason she is controlling him and he doesnt necessarily like it, probable reasons for outbursts, but is totally controlled by momma. It sounds like you arent good enough for her son and is trying to destroy your marriage via your hubby. Time to sue for divorce and everything that youre legally entitled to, let them have each other, and move on, as you deserve better and youve tried long enough to change him but as long as momma is around,nothing will ever change. Good luck

festeringhump

Just get out of there,it will only get worse.

Pildi

What are you still doing there? Leave!

Brainy

My sister Eileen was in the same boat as you. She left him twice, and went back the 3rd time. That was when he beat her to death. She was 24 years old, when she died. Now think about yourself. Trust me, my sister was not the only woman to end up that way.After your death, your confusion won't mean a damn thing. Get yourself in a safe place and get your friends and relatives on side with you and I know you can do it. Good Luck & please take action to end your hell. Love a Friend

zappafan

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE - dont even think about it, get out - it will not change, he will not get any better - he needs help but not from you - GET OUT NOW before something really bad occurs to you.

buzzin

i cant say if he is mental , but i can tell that you should leave him..... nobody deserves to be treated like that

Mary W

I was trapped in a nine-year-nightmare. There was little chance of escape because I had my child with me during that time. (He's grown up now, and doing very well for himself.) We were under the threat of, 'If you leave me, I'll hunt you down.'; and 'If you rat me out, my friends will get you.' Abusive people have little to no self-control, so they try to compensate it by controlling others. One of the first things they do is to isolate you from family, friends, colleagues, etc. When you have nobody and no where to turn to - BANG! They always apologise for their misdeeds, saying that it will never happen again. Bovine feces. They never change, and will always seek out others. We finally escaped with the help of the police. I still have the scars on my legs from his stabbings. GET OUT OF THERE!

Kitty

Yes, he *may* be mentally ill... That's possible. He may also just be a selfish a**hole with no manners. So, let me get it straight: if you knew that he "wanted" you - you'd be OK with the treatment he gives you, and would stay? And would only consider leaving if you were sure he didn't "want" you?

Wrong, girl. If he doesn't respect you - what does it matter if he "wants" you or not? It doesn't. Leave. There's absolutely NO REASON to stay with a person who is abusive; none whatsoever. Love is no excuse for letting someone walk all over you. Talk to a trusted friend or relative and ask their advice. Hopefully they will be able to help you and support you in your decision.

If he is abusive then you need to leave and the sooner the better, you have already lost 18 months, do you really want to lose more - not just time but your mental/emotional health and possibly your life? Start looking up resources in your area for resources that can support you leave this abusive relationship ... you need to focus on your well-being and safety first. BTW, as for your question of being mentally ill? If he is directing all of his anger to you, blaming you for everything and does not behave this way with others - his family, friends, co-workers, people on the street, then the answer is no - if he can control himself in other contexts, he can choose to control himself with you, the fact that he doesn't shows that he is manipulative and controlling. He is getting away with his behaviour and not apt to change it if it continues to benefit him as it has. I think you are right to doubt if he really wants you and loves you - if he did, he would be treating you with respect, equality and the last thing he would want to do is anything (emotionally, verbally or physically) to hurt you.

Sarah

It's a hard decision to make because you really want to believe that he wants you and loves you. In the cycle there will be times when you're absolutely sure that he loves and wants you, but it's still the cycle of abuse.

Get help. Don't wait for him to change, he won't. I know it's been 18months, but as Dr Phil says, why make it 18months and 1 day? It's too long. The minute that passed after the first time he did it was too long.
I know from experience, that it's the hardest thing to walk away from.

If you're having trouble making your decision because you think you maybe deserve...think about what your parents deserve? Do they deserve a miserable, abused daughter? Do they deserve to live with the knowledge of what's going on? Do they deserve to be abused by him as well? Think about the children you could bring into the relationship...do they deserve to live in fear? Do they deserve to be abused and belittled and grow up to have such low self-esteem that they in turn either abuse or are abused?

This is NOT YOUR FAULT! But it is your choice to stay or leave. If you leave, and he loves you and wants you, he will get help and change. Don't believe that he's changed unless he has proof that he has done somethin to better himself - anger management courses or counselling.

Ask your parents for help. They love you and want you to be happy and safe; if that's not a viable option then find a womens shelter and get yourself back on your feet. It's been 18 months...but it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. You can still get out and find a good, kind, decent man who will treat you with all the love and respect that you deserve.

Good luck.

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