Abusive relationship question?

Battery Operated Boyfriend

You can turn him in. The state will take the child from her. In this case that is what is best though. She is not protecting her child. She loves her child but she isn't protecting him.

Go Bears!

You need to call child protective services and get the kid out of that situation. The poor kid is messed up enough already - get him out of there so the kid can heal. If the mom wants to stay with they guy, that is her problem then.

Francesca

When a child is involved...talk to the authorities. they will keep it confidential

moringurl20

This is so sad because my sister was just in the same relationship. Her husband did horrific things to her and now her kids have nightmares every nite. The mom is scared to leave because she don't want to lose her kids the best thing for you to do is tell her that if she don't leave their whole family could be killed. once she is out maybe he can get some help all you can really do is talk to her and tell her to do it for her kids. Good Luck

Wingin It

you need to tell her that by staying her son is privvy to learning all kinds of bad habits and she needs to leave. take more of a hard line with her to push her a bit to make a move. call one of those agencies that helps women like her and ask them what they suggest you do. there really isn't much you can do except try to be more convincing that she needs to leave. show her books and other education regarding the effect of abusive parents on children. once she makes up her mind to leave, then call one of those agencies and ask them what she should do as he will probably not want to leave the premesis and will give her a hard time.

shorte716

She isn't ready to leave, even though you see all the bad she doesn't, she has to be fed up with his crap. Sorry but its true, just be her friend and reassure her you will be there for her.

scojoc

I am not sure where you live so the laws and available services might be different from region to region. I live in Alberta canada, and you could start by being a whistle blower. Talk to the police, and child social services. If the child is in danger a thrid party can make a report and the authorities can start a file and investigation. Unfortunatly until your freind stands up, it might continue.

Maybe print off some information regarding services .... I really hope she gets help. She is not helping her son. This stuff really makes me mad!

Jon

You are correct in getting involved if that is what she is telling you, She's telling you because she need help.
Staying in an abusive relationship FOR the kid is not helping the kid (you know that), but convincing her of that will be harder.
Good luck

bjstree

Sounds like you may want to tell her that she has a responsibility to her child before anything else. It is not normal for a child that age to soil his pants. There could be psychological reasons for it, or it could be consistent with abuse. Either way, she needs to find a way out, and soon. Suggest that she get the school involved. They have many avenues and support ideas, and they may even intervene without her permission if the boy continues to show any signs of abuse, be it mental or physical. At that point hopefully she will quit being afraid and do what is right for her son and herself.

Brutally Honest

There's NOTHING you can do FOR her. Until such time as she's ready to make the leap and do what's right, then you just have to sit back and wait.

But if you're good for your word, tell her that WHEN she's ready to leave, she can stay with you, and you'll do whatever you can to make sure she's safe and protected.

steeltricia

Research any abuse related support groups in her area , call your local shelter and they can help . She needs support to leave , the more you make her feel wrong the more she feel like he's the best she can do . There are groups that get together and drink coffee , they call them selves by other names so that abusive partners don't get suspicious.

rodrigues7527

It's just easier said than done. I'm pretty sure he has her mind in the palm of his hands. She knows that it's wrong or else she wouldn't be telling you. She will leave when she is ready--there really is nothing you can do. Read about co-dependency, and it may help to give you a better understanding of why she can't just up-and-leave.

trying2frog

7 is a little old to be soiling his pants. makes you wonder whats happening to him that she's not telling or doesn't know . Me , I would report it as a suspected child abuse. They cant give your name out.Tell them everything. Maybe if she has to fight for her sons rights , she will start fighting for her own.

letterstoheather

Her son is already responding to the abusive environment by soiling his pants... she isnt doing the kid any favors by staying.

The woman might be scared to get out on her own, as well as scared of HIM too.

She could use a good therapist to help her develop her self-esteem, learn some coping skills, and to move forward in her life..

YOU can't do it for her. And if this is bothering you, let her know you're tired of discussing it, and won't until she makes an effort to help herself.

Sometimes we have to give others conditions... dont' stress yourself out over it... of course, i do see how you'd be very concerned for the child.

take care.

DANNY D

she could hire somebody to rough this guy up, break some knees or something...thats how we handle this from where i'm from.

ndnqt1966

Just keep talking to her....she really does need to leave...this man will eventually kill her....She is endangering not only her life but her son's life as well by staying with this evil man...There is something seriously wrong with her son who continues to soil his pants.....he is scared to death of his father.

starp415

Its going to get worse, if she wants to get out you can call the police on him and explain to them exactly what he's about and his threats to her family as well. You see hes caused damage to the boy so you must let the authority know emedialty to save the boys life, or she could take him down herself as self defense but she needs to be that strong women for that boy. So many cases i have read about woman being with these abusive men and its the childrens life that get taken away because these women wont do anything. PLEASE call the police or he will kill that child

SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP - SHE CANNOT DO IT ON HER OWN - THAS WHUY SHE SAID SOMETHING - HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO, READ BETWEEN THE LINES

SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
What is wrong with the world, you dont just say "well if she doesnt want to leave well she doesnt need help" Like Kitty, screw you, how you gonna say that.
and calling the protective services is wrong, she's not the one doing the abusing, SHE"S TRAPPED AND SHE CANT GET OUT UNLESS YOU HELP HER< SHE'S FROZEN
SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
NOW IF THE POLICE GET INVILVE AND HELP HER AND SHE STILL CHOOSES TO GO BACK WITH HIM THEN YOU CALL PROTECTIVE SERVICES OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THEY TAKE THAT CHILD AWAY

DONT GIVE UP ON THAT CHILD NO MATTER WHAT

keithleyjustin

Hot line the DFS have them take care of it. You cant make her see,but the DFS can... How do i know,my sister was in the same kind of relationship,we had to involve DFS and they took care of it and they are still involved to date.

Smash

Wow...first off I'm sorry that you have to deal with a situation like this. I had to at one point, and it's really scary. Honestly, if you have proof that the man is abusive (bruises on the kid or the wife), I would call authorities. She is obviously too scared to do anything on her own, and if she doesn't get out of that situation soon, her or her child will end up dead. I know it's harsh, but it's true. People who are abusive don't just one day stop being abusive. Unless she does something, it will just continue.

She could always leave one day while he's at work and go to a women's shelter. There, she can notify the authorities of what is happening and get a much needed restraining order. I know a lot of women's centers also offer counseling to the children.

Hope this helps and good luck with everything.

Happy-2

Where I live, the state agency you should contact is called DFACS -- the Department of Family And Child Services. You should have a similar agency where you live. Please take this seriously and report what's going on -- lives may hang in the balance!

philosophy

call Child Protective Services

Manny

Call up any safe homes in your area. He's keeping her by making her believe she will lose her child and her parents would be harmed. She needs to be set up with people who will be able to knowledgeably inform her of what she can legally do.

lost man

the problem often lie with the belief that as long as stay within the marriage framework, it is best for the kid.

wrong!

tell her that she is just lieing to herself!

a complete family no longer exist, full of fear and unease, no more love in the house....

and all these are not healthy for the child growth.

IF she really care for the kid, then she should be providing the kid a peaceful and healthy growing environment.

Kitty

There's absolutely nothing else you can do. Unfortunately.

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