Adults: Is there something wrong with me?
Find answers to your legal question.
Adults: Is there something wrong with me?
|
Earlier, I asked a question about my boyfriend. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Arjr6LI_E56hxva1JI2klL3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090422102957AADhLMx
Now I am going to ask about me... after all, maybe its MY fault.
I really could use honest opinions...
My boyfriend and I have had a rocky relationship. We are in our 30s... and he has a complicated world, with a daughter and an ex of 11 years. I have really been trying to get comfortable with his life. For the past year I have been asking questions, trying to learn the dynamic he has with the ex, trying to learn more about his daughter...
I also realized that he involves his friends whenever we have an argument or serious discussion. I told him in confidence about my childhood, and he ran to his friends and told them everything I told him. I had to explain to him that I told him because I trusted him, and I would appreciate it if he didnt tell anyone else, out of respect for me.
Because of his life, there are a lot of time constraints, so I keep every other weekend free, and most weeknights he doesnt have his daughter...
All of these factors, when I try to voice to him, I approach him calmly.. and gently...
Every time I talk about these things, he yells at me, gets defensive, lashes out and interrupts me.
After I express my shock of being talked to like that, I usually walk away or hang up the phone. He calls back, I tell him to please talk to me properly, he yells some more, I hang up again. It repeats.
Two hours later, he texts me "i love you baby, do you still love me?"
Then acts like nothing is wrong. I know there is a lot about him that I need to get used to, but when I ask him questions, am I actually provoking a fight? Am I the cause of all this?
Its tearing me apart...
|
 
|
PrettyN
 |
What do you need to get used to? An abusive relationship? Are you serious? This guy obviously has issues and doesn't have ANY respect for you as his girlfriend let alone as a human-being. Perhaps a reason he involves his family in everything is because he is seeking justification for his actions and possibly looking for that push to leave you...
Get rid of him!
Good luck! |
|
Doc Phil
|
i bet you think it will get better with time or maybe you can change him
A woman gets married and think she can change him but she never does.
a man gets married and hope she never changes but she always does |
|
ladyhawke707
 |
Wow talk about Passive agressive and manipulating. Its time to end it for your own health and safty. he may never work out his issues and you don't want him taking it out on you. |
|
Cola
|
He's a bad communicator. You may, at worst, be picking a bad time to talk to him about something sensitive, or bringing up these issues to frequently. But you shouldn't blame yourself: he's the one that turns conversations that could be perfectly calm into serious fights. |
|
Karma
 |
I read your other question before reading this one and he sounds verbally abusive towards you. He feels like he has to have power and has to be in control and he gets defensive so he doesn't have to answer your questions and can avoid the topic...and it works. Yes, you are at fault for one thing...and that's thinking there is something wrong with you. He is the one that needs help. NOT YOU. The only thing you need to do is get out of that relationship. |
|
unsung hero
|
Sounds like he doesn't want a comittment and is being aggresive and rude to get the point across that he doesn't want you closer than a casual gf.
Personally if it was me, I would tell him if he ever told anyone anythnig again I told him in confidence and then yelled at me later when I expressed my sadness over it, I would leave a guy like that.
Who wants a ticking time bomb like this when clearly he's setting up boundries to keep you distant emotionally. This isn't real love. |
|
|
|
|
|
 My divorce papers say $450 which includes med. ins for Ch. support. I have been paying $450 + M.I. What to do? |
| In my divorces papers it says I have to pay $450 which includes med ins. for child support. I have been paying $450 plus med ins. What should I do in this case?... |
|
 Is there a way to hire an attorney that doesnt need money from the beggining? |
| My husband left me in my Country without money, sick and abandoned. He wants to get the divorce without giving me the chance to be in front of the Judge. I want to hire an attorney, but I have no ... |
|
 How do you break up with a bipolar girl and not get killed? |
| I have been dating this girl for the past year who is both bi-polar, very insecure, clingy, and hopelessly in love with me. But,I just can't deal with her "downsides" any longer, and ... |
|
 Why do i always feel this way? |
whenever i see pics any couples in there album i feel "this guy must be loving his wife so much.. how lucky she is..."
Additional Details
no ... i am ... |
|
 I got married in India came to USA 10 yrs ago. Can I get divorce here in USA or I have get from India? |
| I am a green card holder got through my husband (he is Indian too) I have a job here. If we get divorce here in USA will that cause my green card?... |
|
 Did you live together before getting married? |
| How long did you live together before deciding to marry?... |
|
 Need some simple advice!!!!!!!? |
| Im 24 yrs old and I have been with my boyfriend for 6yrs. We have our ups and down but lately he has been really negative with everything. Hes is in his late 30's so here really doesn't ... |
|
 Child support (repeat question)? |
| Ok, should I ask for Child support from my ex.. ? We have only been split up for three week, and I had told him if we ever did split up, I would not ask him for child support as long as he helps me ... |
|
 Do you think there is a definite surge among husbands killing their wives and kids, or is this just the media? |
Hyping us up again?
And many of these stories are about affluent individuals who are running into money problems. Here's recent stories of family murder-suicides:
http://news.... |
|
 Am I half a man because I don't have an affair partner like everyone else my age and in my situation? |
| I feel like I SHOULD have an affair partner, but am not grown up enough to actually seal the deal on one.... |
|
 Is there some common ground between love and stupidity? |
| Don't you have to be kind of a numbnuts to put up with all the other person's crap? I mean, if you over analyze it, they will drive you insane.... |
|
 Anyone here married to a mama's boy? |
what types of things does your spouse do that makes you think he is a mama's boy?
how do you deal with it?
Additional Details
Satanic: what does his mother issues have to do ... |
|
 How do i find a name and address only using a cellphone number? |
| Okay, so we kinda have been suspecting my father in law of cheating on my mother in law, and I have the cell phone number of the girl he is cheating on her with, I know it's a verizon phone ... |
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
