After 5 years of marriage and being happy together. How can a woman just change and walk out the door?

nhuvi j

Well , you still have the condo.#

lorenzosteed

1. Women are fickle.
2. You're not getting it done for her, dude.
3. see number one.

curmudgeon

sorry, but this always means she has found someone else, no matter what she says.

blissman

It sounds like she's already found someone else.
Ow well, never mind, you'll get over it in time.
Plenty more fish in the sea.

shadycaliber

And? That's what women are like, they are always playing their card to get the best available. My X is searching for the perfect guy too, the "what else is out there" whoever this imaginary guy is he's sure got a lot of women to choose from. It's a blessing and a curse that guys are so easily made happy. Blessing cause no relationship would ever work if we thought like women, a curse cause we believe everyting is ok and allow ourselves to love completely only to get side swiped.

lore n

She doesn't deserves you. Forget her and go on with your life

sxyvxn79

she changed a long time ago, you just didn't notice.

jim h

Lack of maturity and responsibility.

Hildulf

She doesn't want to see what else is out there...
She has SEEN what else is out there, and wants something else.

SuperGurl78

It sounds like she got bored. Men do it too. I'm sorry this misfortune was bestowed upon you. People like th is, tend to be this way with everything, clothes, food, shoes, friends, material possessions in general. They tend to throw things away before donating them to the nearest thrift store, seriously. She found someone else, but it won't last any longer than it lasted with you. Be glad she said something instead of seeing him behind your back and you having to hear it from her friends.

boogeywoogy

I have news for you-- men do it, too.
Her needs for emotional intimacy my not have been adequately met, which may be why she said she needs more. That is usually the case when a woman walks out the door.

Paulie D

We (both men and women) often go into marriage with unrealistic expectations of what marriage will be like and what it will do for us. We often expect our spouses to do for us what we can only do for ourselves. If she won't go to counselling, get a good lawyer.

Grant M

She was really not happy and was probably seeing someone for a while... Please don't dwell on it because I went through the same thing.... It ate at me and ate at me and I thought I was going to kill someone and at times my self.... Just move on its over she found something greener on the other side of the fence.... Good luck Grant M in Pennsylvania

yoshi

it sounds like she may have been scared of committing the rest of her life to one person. it is one thing to be dating, no matter how long you are together, but when marriage comes into play that is very frightening to some. then everything you have worked for in your life belongs to another person, and if something goes wrong they get half of what you have, whereas if you are dating you can just get up and go when things are tough. you sound like a great guy, i wish the best for you :)

ruebezahl2001

The same happend to me after 10 years of marriage and it's funny because your description fits exactly.
To be honest I've not been able to find a good explanation but I assume that we started the relationship very young and she might have identified other goals in life.
Good luck!

im_so_frustrated

she's one of those selfish inconciderate women. (i sound so rude sorry) if she would've cared the least bit about u or ur feelings and opinions she wouldnt even have considered walking out. have u ever heard "i dont love you" by my chemical romance? it so fits your situation.

when you go
would you even turn to say, hey
i dont love you
like i did
yesterday

sunflowergal

someone else is definitely in the picture, sorry to say. But, a little insight... as you say, if a woman is always doing this, there's another man right there with her, it takes two.... So......

Rick46

It sounds as if she already has a new lover. In a new affair, the lust covers any rationale a person might have and until it wears off, I'm afraid she's not coming back.

maria s

ok my poor soule, yes it hurts like hell, i feel you. My now ex left me 1 week ago after he came back for the 2nd time for his 15 younger co-worker/roomate. However, 2 days before he left me he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me .
So you just got to face it that tramp found someone else and all you have or done ain't s... anymore.
let that turt go she will want to come back to you sometime down the road, or remember what goes around comes around.
good luck

Mike J

Dude, I'm sorry. You got played, hard. Maybe the signs were there and you didn't see bcuz you didn't want to see anything but love. I'm sure you'll be really careful in the future.

Sometimes I get really confused with the idea of love. Why is it that we guys are expected to give give all we have, and women are expected to take take, but they leave if they want and take half? Especially the women that choose to have no children. I don't get it - what makes them more special? I know they aren't worth more - what gives with that? I hate being single, but I guess I'd rather be in my place than yours.

FullofQuestions

She probably was unhappy a long time ago and you did not notice. People dont just change over night. Also she might of found someone else to spend her time with.

misscacazzy

i am sorry to hear this,your story is very comon.i think after 5/7 year itch you either get bord or scared.the first flush of passion tends to get jaded,but that down to you both to sort that one out.alot of couples relationships tend to become sort of brother sisterish.dont blame all women it happens to them more often.perhaps the signs were there and ya never notice them.hope things turn out for you ok good luck

dreamdress2

I'm sorry for you, but obviously she just realized when face to face to spending the rest of her life with you, that she was uncertain about it...it could be cold feet, but I think she is just against getting married to anyone right now. And if after five years, marriage is just now coming up,,,I also wonder about your commitment to marrying her as well..I would try to move on with my life, if I were you. Maybe you need more to than this relationship was bringing...

angela_6uk

Firstly, I'm very sorry you've been hurt like this...it's always hard when a relationship breaks up, but it's even worse when you don't understand why.

People don't change suddenly...your partner must have been feeling unsettled for a good while, but perhaps she does have a certain, unromantic, kind of love for you, and that's why she wanted to make it work.

However, if the relationship wasn't fulfilling her needs, she has probably done you both a favour, though you won't see it as such, yet.

A relationship where one partner is unhappy can cause rot, resentment and even more heartbreak further down the line. And it doesn't matter whether you are male or female, people change.

She may have meant it when she said she loved you enough to marry you, or she may have just been wanting it to be true. Either way, staying together would have made you both unhappy in the long run.

Please don't let this experience cause you to feel bitter about all women and relationships...let yourself mourn the end of it without hate, then you will begin to heal.

Do you have someone you can talk to, perhaps a friend or a doctor? It may help to share your feelings.

You may never really know the true reason why she left, unless you ask her, so please don't waste time thinking of what could have been, or how you could hurt her in return. These things happen to everyone, and time does heal! (Sorry for the cliche!)

I wish you all the best for the future.

wingsgirl4ever

Well lets see 5 yrs. no marriage. The 2 of you don't have kids I take it. Her biological clock is ticking & you don't seem to notice. Many women want a stable. perminate relationship. A common law marriage isn't really anything, it means you 2 have lived together for 5 yrs. thats really it. I know some states honor that as like a marriage, but it still isn't that piece of paper saying you have joined your lives together forever.

Or she got the 7 yrs itch a few yrs. early & decided that maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the hill.

stockoslayer

I know this will sound harsh...but you win some, you lose some. My wife and I have been married for 10 years, but I always realize in the back of my mind that things could end at any time and it may not be within my control to stop.

Love is one of those things that is risky, but worth it.

Rick H

It was all an act until she could find something better. And I guess she did .... at least in her mind she did. But it's not always greener in the other pasture. I'm sure she'll realize that in time. You're not the first to have this happen. Just try your best to deal with it and move ahead with your life. Sorry you have to go through this.

lordmisrule2004

Sometimes spouses are oblivious to their significant other's wants and desires. She had probably given you small clues along the way, but you either didn't see them for what they were, or you chose to ignore them. For the most part, men are very logical and up front. When they want something, they say what they want. Men say what they mean, there are no hidden meanings or ulterior motives. With women, they are not always so straight forward. So, you were probably expecting her to come right out and say, "I don't like our marriage because....." But, most women don't. They will say things like, "It's okay" when it's NOT really okay.

Obviously, your communication with her had broken down somewhere.

smashingdelite

tuff luck mate , hope u meet someone better soon . Oh btw u call such people "confused"

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: