After divorce do you find yourself?
Find answers to your legal question.
After divorce do you find yourself?
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making the new person pay for all your exes mistakes. How can you prevent from doing this?
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Lil B
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I made the next guy pay and he made me pay...and it didnt work...when I met my husband I made sure that I really analyzed why I was anxious or angry and made sure that it was about me and him and not about my ex. It took alot of work but now it is easy and we have been together 6+ years and we are going strong! |
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Michael
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Well that is a natural tendency. You have to realize this is a new person and a new relationship. You shouldn't punish the other person for the mistakes of the former. After any relationship you often find yourself picking up on patterns that remind you of the other person. This is call relationship baggage. You have to leave the baggage out of the new relationship, it is hard to do. However it is the only way you can move forward with a healthy new relationship. |
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Curious G
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If I did find another, I'd hope I wouldnt do this, but I can see myself doing this. I had an ex bf once, n the more he told me about his past, the more I resented him. One day he finally sat me down and told me, that no girl he would ever date after me, would stick up for me if he told her of any wrong he did me, so y am I doing this? I thought about it, and it is true, so I stopped blaming him for all his past mistakes, and started blaming him for all his present ones. It worked for us...we were together for five yrs. |
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Nena S
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I agree with Michael's answer.
What I did - during my separation and even after my divorce- was to go to therapy, and I believe it really helped me.
As you say, we tend to be on the defensive since we were hurt, and we want to protect ourselves. This is normal; but it isn't fair to the other person. Give yourself time to adjust and don't rush into another relationship until you really feel you are ready.
Good luck. |
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benthere
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no matter how hard we try we always walk away with baggage |
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sheloves_dablues
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No.
If you find yourself doing this, it's a sign that you haven't worked through the crap from your last relationship. |
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leslie k
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No... I find his love for me keeps me strong. |
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shaytx32
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pray n ask God 2 help u he is the only 1 that can deliver u .from the past. |
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Confused
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No |
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 Have you been in a committed relationship and looked at matchmaker sights on a regular basis? |
Did your partner know? Why did you do it?
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