Am I being Selfish?

â™¥Pure Evilâ™¥

No ur not selfish, u just don't wanna live w/ or like a slob! Tell her, "honey I know ur pregnant but good lord can u pick up a little!"

kwest

no, don't get married if you're not sure!

Robert R

No you are not.

amanda

no wayyy your not being selfish at all. she needs to clean up after herself.

The Handler

There really is no easy answer. Sometimes bringing in a third person will help. I would recommend counseling. Unless she wants to change, nothing will ever get better. Good luck.

knicker_please

No, not at all. She's gotta clean herself up, and especially the smoking with a child on the way and already having a little girl around. She's setting bad examples for the kids and not being fair to you.

doktrgroove

You're not being selfish but this would have been better thought out BEFORE she got pregnant with a second child.

Amanda

You are not selfish but you need to decide whether or not you want to live the rest of your life like this. I am sure she is a great woman and that is why you were with her to begin with but she needs to grow up and if having children didnt help her do that, I don't know what will. Nonetheless, you need to sit her down and let her know how you feel about everything.

Berzerker

Nah, your not at fault here. First you should get your wife to quit smoking, espicially if theres kids in the house and because its quite damaging to her body. Then you should try to calm her down and talk about the things thats bothering you. If that does not help get her help on how she can quit smoking, keep her stuff clean, and how to manage her finances better. Hope that helps.

luvver_girl911

sit down and have a little talk with her about all of this and if she ignores it just be like i am leaving you if you don't cuz i hate living this way;;
Nichole<33

crazygrl

oh wow.
i would tell her to eaither get herself together or ur out.
sometimes u need to tell someone straight up to get them to wake up

ur not beign selfish.
very patient

i admire u for that

mdaniels1263

i don't think you are being selfish, but it sounds like she is....if you are truly one of those rare 'good guys' she needs to take care of herself a little, and at least try to meet some of your needs..

Rudy J

YES...both of you are selfish....
YOU knew she was this way...and now resent it?

Yet you have bred TWICE, and will have spawned 2 innocent children into a relationship that is doomed?

Both of you are disgusting, and need therapy fast.... for the sake of these kids...not either of you.

GET her on birth control or quit dipping the willie, please no more kids, they will suffer enough because of you 2 selfish, self-centered kids.

Firecracker67

doesnt sound selfish to me at all.........sounds like she need to grow up and take some responsibility.....as far as her not brushing her teeth........thats just plain disgusting

just wondering

If the person you are wanting to marry irritates you that much, is that lazy and doesn't seem to want to better herself for her or your sake... DON'T GET MARRIED! Unless of course you want to get divorced. Marriage is hard and you need two people who are willing to work at it and compromise. Of course we are hearing only your side of the story... but it sounds like you shouldn't get married, even though you have 'feelings' for her. It won't be healthy for the two of you, and it won't be healthy for the children either.

I guess you could try counseling... sounds like you've already expressed your concerns to her and she hasn't made any amends so I don't really know if counseling will do any good... but it's worth a shot if you really want to stay with her.

Sorry... best of luck to you.

Bezza

Maybe you dont need to live together to have a fantastic relationship, just close by and see each other and your kids as often as you want. The only rules are the ones we make up. As long as the kids are feeling loved and safe.

You're not selfish. Talk to her about it and tell her that all this stuff gets on your nerves! It's sounds a bit like you're always under eachothers feet, maybe spend a bit of time apart occasionally?
Good luck

curiouscanadian

Why on earth did you pregnate her the second time! Look at the way she was brought up and see if there is a pattern there but you need to move out as she just doesn't care about your feelings and needs.

Storm F

How are you being selfish? I think you both just need to sit together and calmfully talk through eachothers problems. Take it in turns. Ask her to say what her problem with you is then come to a comprimise, then tell her a problem you have with her and comprimise with that. If she stresses out and doesnt want to participate then she is very immature and unfortunately you should probably split up, I think if you do then you should take the children because you seem more responsible... however i doubt she will like that and she will insist on looking after them. if you do slip up make sure to see your kids regularly as to not mess up their lives

rahlyd swamp muffin

you have to love the good with the bad or it will never work

Erin

You really should have gotten to know each other before having children. That is part of it, if you knew each other better you would have known more about her habits, and been more accepting. There are however always those tensions when living with someone...that's where communication and compromise should take place.

Bree

One can be selfish if someone or something else is at stake. In this case, your children are. This has absolutely nothing to do with you or your fiance anymore. You have to do what will make your children happy and healthy, first. Don't get me wrong; you still need to enjoy life and your surroundings as does your fiance, but two little people who don't have this choice are what is most important right now.

If you think that it really is problematic, but want it to change, then speak with her about it. Don't attack her and make her feel as though she is being a bad mother/girlfriend, but make her feel that you are willing to fight and want her too, as well. If you think that things cannot change, then for the sake of your sanity and your children's future, move on from your fiance. Children are the most intuitive creatures. They are sponges. They see everything that goes on around them as well as the things that don't.

Best of luck.

Truth

Wow she is a disaster..dont ever get married to a lazy girl like her............your kids you can always see them..or take them with you..

Raquel

Leave her then! Smoking is groossss

kramnnim

No.

Reading and Answering Your Q&#39

Your daughters can a great life even with a father that lives in another house. You sound like you would still be there for them and be with them often. Or maybe even take full custody. (She doesn't seem too responsible)
Dude, think about.... we are not going to be young forever and do you really want to grow old and and just think about all the regrets you have? You have one life to live, make the most out of it. Not only do you need to please your wonderful children, but also your wonderful self.
And I think you will be a better dad this way.
Instead of being so afraid of new changes to your lives, try planning out all the things you want to achieve by doing this, like pleasing yourself! ; )
Life does go on. And we ALL get used to new situations.
Just remember to take that first step.

I â™¥ Jesus

Cleanliness is next to Godliness, so i suggest you two go to a Holy Ghost filled church, so that she can recieve Jesus, and express the qualities that the lord gives us, which is to be clean, and wise (as far as her spending habits).
And your not being selfish, who wouldnt want a clean house, and someone who can budget,

alltheworldsastage07

Your wife may suffer from depression. Offer her to make an appointment with a doctor to discuss the options for smoking cessation. Both of you should consider marriage counseling.

Lw's Lady

No your not selfish,there is a saying "you don't know someone till you live with em" if she truly loves you she will want too make you happy. Your not happy an It's gonna get worse unless you confront her without an argument because your gonna resent her if you don't address it soon.

anjelica.!

If bringing up your petpeves to her causes you guys to start arguing maybe ask your daughter to bring it up it might make your girlfriend start to think about what she is really doing wrong and if all those things bother you too much then clean it your self or put your relationship on hold and sort your problems out before you get married or the relationship gets stronger and you kill the mood by bringing up all of your differences

ginger315

Well, you picked her, not once, but several times. Do you feel comfortable leaving your daughters with her?

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: