Am I being ridiculous or should I confess? 10 pts. to most helpful!?

My fiance is in the army and I moved where he is stationed so we could be together and get married here in a few days. Well yesterday he had to work and so I stayed at the barracks instead of having him drive me back to the hotel we're staying at until we get our apartment this weekend.

Well he said "my computers on if you wanna use it" and went to work... well... I'm a curious and bad girl... I started going through his pictures to see what he had on there. Most of it was of us, and army stuff. But there was an album from when his friend came to visit. Well this friend was a girl. In the pictures they were awfully close for being friends. Not kissing or anything... but close and cuddly. They stayed at the hotel that we are staying at and took pictures of places he took me.

I know he loves me very much and I was wrong for going through his pictures... because he obviously thought nothing of it cause he let me get on his computer with him not there.
The pictures are from around Christmas, before I met him... so I'm trying to keep in mind, okay shes back home, I'm here. I'm marrying him. But its bothering me. He told me he's only slept with one girl, and I'm curious if that girl is her... I don't know if I am overreacting. I sound pretty insecure, its just I don't want to be lied to, and he said that girl was just a friend when I saw a picture of her before at his sisters wedding -she was his date to the wedding-.

Should I tell him how I feel and that I did that? Or should I let it go and just move on from it? I think its just bothering me most is why he STILL has those pictures... I'm assuming he just forgot to delete them or didn't think about it... but it makes me feel crappy. I don't have anything to hide on my computer... I wouldn't of even kept pictures like that in case he saw them.

Any advice on what to do? It's really bothering me when he's not around and I think about it....
Yes I know I was wrong, I'm just curious and marrying the guy... I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything really bad on there.

Thanks in advance.
Additional Details
Haha people keep asking if I am mature enough to get married... Its not like I dont trust him. I just have anxiety and I do stupid stuff sometimes. I'm not sure why people always see things black and white... everyone has concerns. At least I have a common sense enough TO look into things, rather than ignore it all and then end up hurt in the end...

All in all, thank you to the people who were reasonable with their answers. I think I'll just casually come across them and ask about it. I dont want him to think I'm like that cause normally I'm not. I just panicked when I saw them. Thats all.

Anya D

i'd let it go. you werent together. if you say something, he's going to think this is how you are. you are going to search his computer, wallet, phone, etc when you're married.

i keep tons of old boyfriend stuff. NOT because i want to be with them or anything, just for memories. if my current BF sees them, i tell him exactly who that was and where we were, etc. you could try that... sit at his computer WITH him and "casually come across" the pictures of her and him and just ask innocently. if he's totally upfront with you, then you have nothing to worry about. she's the past.

Magic 8 Ball (Call me BILF)

Here is the deal. He is arguably a grown up and so are you. You both had lives before each other, and that has to be okay. If he had something to hide, he would never have given you access to his computer.

I vote get over it. If that is the worst thing you found on his computer, then you are sitting mighty pretty.

alialoggi

You've opened Pandora's box, by snooping, havent you? If you trust him, don't snoop. Now you feel horrible and insecure, so don't do it anymore. Don't tell him you snooped either. If it were me, I'd ask to meet her, when he brings her up. You should meet his friends, and I'm sure you wont feel threatened by an old friend. She is just a friend, hugging or not, friends hug. If you get to know her, you will see that she is not a threat and that will make you feel better about her. He trusts you enough to let you use his computer. If he was cheating, he would have hidden the evidence.

mrs. anonymous

Aww.. Don't worry, I know exactly how you feel.

Honestly, from my experience, it's best to just let it go. The pictures are from before you and him were together and he's obviously not trying to hide anything from you, so pretend you never saw them. Trust me, it'll be worse if you make a big deal about it and you don't really want to know if she's the one he slept with. Some things are better left unsaid.

stephanie c

Any man that I'm gonna marry does not have pic's of past girlfriends...PERIOD! Tell him what you done, that you dont like it and how bad it bothers you..he should get rid of them if he really cares about you.

Nuthouse 4456

I would sit down and explain wut u saw on the pics. It sounds like him and that girl are exactly just wut it looked like - friends and it was before u came along. Who ever he slept with could be totally someone other than that girl. U are right he is marrying u and it is an insecurity but sit down and have a conversation tell him how u feel if he is not hiding anything he will tell u the truth. He let u on his computer knowing the pics were there so I really don't think u have any worries and u found nothing else bad so good luck and congrats on ur upcoming marriage and remember always keep conversation alive it keeps ur relationship good.

emmys momma

if you want to have a happy marriage you cannot go into it with secrets. you need to talk to him about your concerns. it could be completely innocent why he has these pictures. you need to know. snooping is a sign that you don't trust him. the secret to a happy marriage or long-term relationship is mutual respect, love and trust. without any of those qualities your relationship will not be happy.

hedi

i think you need to grow up and trust your man. this was before he met you so why do you care.if he cared about that picture he would not have let you on the computor. grow up

BikerChick

You NEED to confess, and you NEED to tell him how you feel. Be totally up front and honest with him NOW. You can even show him what you wrote here if you get stuck explaining. ANY good healthy relationship is based on TRUST and understanding. Without that one ingredient, the relationship will fail. It would bother me too that he kept the pictures, because it would make me wonder WHY.

DO NOT assume he is doing anything wrong. DO NOT accuse him, get over emotional about it, or demand anything. TALK to him calmly and as open minded as possible. This NEEDS to be cleared up and put behind you NOW.

willn2pleaze

you have some security issues that you need to work out before you marry anyone. this is way too much and you have not given us here any real reason for you to be worried. he knew you would see the pictures and he was testing you to see how you reacted.

Justwantoknow

I don't think you should take this out of content. The fact is the picture were before you and they are friends. To make you feel better you can ask him about the pictures and why they are still on his computer. If you bring this up to him he will begin to question his trust between the two of you. I would not overreact. Leave the past in the past and have a great wedding.

Debra

There was nothing wrong with you looking at his pics, you didn't have to break a code to get into them did you? The pictures were of a girl who is his friend who he may or may not have slept with before you met him.

I don't see a problem. If he did sleep with her and was in love with her he'd still be with her, right???

I would definitely say something but in a joking way don't be the jealous fiance.

Chandni A

See, problems like these should be solved before it gets worse. First of all it's bothering you and you have not even got married to him, so ask him frankly... Ask his apologies first, and then tell the thing. If he's angry and just stammer about it, then you leave him. I know, it will hurt you, but forgetting him is much better than living with such a person. You'll get a much more nice person in you life. May God bless you. Don't worry.
And, being curious, nothing wrong with that... A girl, right, it's just natural... Even If I was in your place, I would have just done that...

honest girl!

The only thing you should be considering is whether you are mature enough to even think about marriage...

Shelby

There is nothing to confess. He had a friend over before you were together. He had the pictures on his computer. He knows those pictures are there and invites you to use the computer. It sounds like there was nothing to hide in the matter. You were using the computer as he said to. If he had a good time before you were together, would that make you unhappy? He probably still has the pictures for the same reason you have pictures of you growing up. It was a nice memory from an earlier time in your life. He doesn't need to erase his memory to be with you. That isn't reasonable. It would be another matter if he's still talking to her all the time or somehow sending affection her way that ought to go to you. He sounds devoted from what you say. I'd just let it go. Good Luck.

misskelleygirl

Obviously you're understanding that there is nothing between he and this friend of his...it was BEFORE you.

And he is marrying you!

I wouldn't "confess" but maybe mention you were looking at the photos, and saw her...

Don't come across as threatened by her...as there is no reason to be. Just make him aware through conversation.

If you don't attack him...accuse him...then I see this going as a simple conversation...nothing more.

Congratulations on your marriage!

happywjc

Being "noisy", can change your mine!

illinoismommy

Ok...I'm going to shoot it straight...I've been married over 5 years, successfully so keep that in mind :)

Us women look into things WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more than men do. You would be shocked at the amount of things that fly over men's heads, but those same things can bother a woman for months...seriously. I imagine he doesn't think about it, forgot, doesn't care and truly thinks of her as a friend. So, I would drop it. It will really upset him if you bring it up, so if you do bring it up....don't wait until a day before the wedding....do it tonight. But honestly, woman to woman...I would love my man, be confident in his love for you....and forget it.

Hope that helps!

unschoolymomma

How old are you? Sounds like you are not ready to be in a marriage relationship if you are going to get jealouse over a few pictures that obviously don't mean anything to him. I am sure he hasbeen too busy to bother with deleting stuff off his cimputer and often we get busy and forget.

i think you need to get over your insecurites and move on.

mixedgrl82

Just bring it to his attention and let him know that this is bothering you. You were not in the wrong because he did tell you that you can use his computer. It doesnt sound like anything serious so after you get this off of your chest you will feel so much better and can get past this. If he was trying to hide something then I seriously doubt he will even let you use his computer

Heatherrrrrrrr

It doesn't sound like you are mature enough or ready to enter into marriage. Little things like him in a picture with a girl you don't know before he met you is too minor and tiny. You are marrying him. If you don't trust him then don't get married. Period.

Rebecca W

Let it go. As you rightly said, he is marrying you and this was before the two of you met. And why should he delete the pictures? They are memories from his past and have nothing to do with you or your relationship, would you seriously just throw away all your memories of your past? Come on now, that is just silly. So let it go.

And hopefully you have learned an important lesson, nothing good comes of snooping. Just because he said you could use his computer didn't give you carte blanche to snoop and "make sure there wasn't anything bad". It meant you could use it to go online or play games, not invade his privacy. Now you feel bad and rightly so!

windmill ever

Honey...you sound very young. Why are you getting married to the Army..because thats what your doing if you dont realize it.

If this little thing from BEFORE you were dating is bothering you then I would like to see how you will be dealing with his deployments..

Seth ...DILF-to-be...HaHaHa :)

Wow cause he has a female friend that must mean he's cheating? Stop snooping and talk it through with him if you really want answers.

the real casual poster

Yeah, he is cheating. I'll never understand these fools that keep evidence of their cheating on cell phones, computers, etc....I would confront him before you get married.

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