Am I doing the right thing?

samantha

aww t. i definitely think you should divorce him

Whyld in the willows

Ask yourself this question...... do i want history to repeat itself with my children?
Daughters usually end up in abusive relationships like their mothers because they think that is normal.
Sons usually end up being the abuser in the relationship for the same reason.
END IT NOW before your children are doomed to repeat the same pattern.
Divorce him and move on.
You are worth more than 20 of this man. And your children are worth more than anything in the world. Protect them from the abuse or you will regret it.

nurse ratchet

That sounds like an awful manipulative relationship. You have to end it before it gets worse and continues to scar you and your children. Your right this is not a good environment for either you or the children. Be strong and end the relationship. Anyone who threatens and strikes fear in people is abusive and weak. You do not deserve that, move on. You only have yourself and children to look out for, support yourself. Family does not always help out and who cares you only have to think for yourself and your childrens interest. Empower yourself, be strong.

Queenie

YOU HAVE GOT TO GET OUT.
Your kids would feel twice as bad if you stayed and he killed you. I would contact one of those women's shelters (or perhaps you have family out of state) where he wouldn't be able to find you and your kids. Perhaps even move out of state and start fresh.

Leyla P

Leave him and take ur kids with u. he aint the right man for ya. hes just a bad man, no one threatens smone t cheat on u!

john112233

Deep down inside you have known what to do a long time ago. So do it

Ben S

Stay away from that man be4 it gets ugly.You could end up dead,avoid that.

jenny strawberry

Nobody can really help you. It is up to you to decide. You just need the courage and confidence to go through with it. Obviously he is very abusive and I dont think he loves you. You can either encourage him to seek help through therapy or you could just leave him. I know it isnt as easy as it sounds but think about your future and the future of your children! Think about the long run, how much happier you will be. You dont deserve to be treated that way. Stand up for yourself and dont let him treat you like trash. Its in your hands. Listen to your heart but decide with your head. Good Luck >:D<

Ozzy Osbagel

My parents were divorced when I was about that age I never remembered anything from when I was 3 so you just grow up like that it's not bad if they don't remember what it's like with you and him together.

the_hedda_lettuce

One thing about abusers.......they know how to manipulate.

Do not stay in a physically abusive marriage for the sake of the kids. They will grow up learning to disrespect you, and that violence is acceptable in relationships.

Your best defense with your husband is to keep telling him NO!
If he calls and is being verbally abusive, you hang up. Then if he calls back, let the answering machine get it and it will record his threats. Then you can use that as evidence against him, while getting an order of protection.

Did you know that on average, a woman will go back to their abusive husband/boyfriend 7 TIMES before letting go?
You can't fix this relationship. He needs professional help.

~SweeT~

In any kind of situation like that it is best to get out of. Your son is only 3 years old, he doesn't understand what's going on or why. When he makes the comments he makes, well you got to explain to him in his understanding of life on how it's not a good situation for you, him or your other child. You did do the right thing. Even though you are questioning yourself, if you think about how it could affect your kids ten years from now you will know you did do the right thing.

It's just me

This is an abusive relationship. Your children are growing up to believe it is OK to be that way, is this what you want for them? Do you want those little ones to grow up to be either abused or to abuse their loved ones? If he won't leave, then you have to. Get counseling, and move on without him.

Mr.Boombastic Mungbean

100 % doing the right thing. You can normally work on any aspect of a relationship, but when it gets physical it's time to look out for the kids & you.

katydid

The most important element in your life should be your children. Do you want them to think this is how a relationship works?
When you start to wonder if leaving is the right thing, just ask yourself if you want your children in a relationship like the one you're in. When you settle, you're teaching your kids to settle. They are learning from you and their dad, this is how relationships work.

lbtrusting

Get away while you can sounds very dangerouse to me

Barney R

If he hurts you call 911.
If he emotionally hurts you, dump him.
No MAN should act like that.
I'm a MAN and I know.

are ya fer real

I Will Give you Two Thumbs up. You are doing the best thing you could. The Children will accept it over time and deal with they are young yet.

Keep On Keeping On
Follow your instincts
And Smile while you Do It
ayfr

beau kay<3

I think that your doing the right thing by taking a break from him. That isnt a good environment for the kids to be in. Right now they are too young to understand why you made him leave. Of course you will care for him, he is your husband and the father of your kids. Stay strong and stick to what you think is right. I hope everything works out. Good luck and god bless.

Sandra L

if he beats you, then that is it, i think you made the right decision cause my mother was beat, and i had to witness it, it still tramatizes me, but i am glad that she left him, made the right decision, your kids do not need to be in an enviroment like that.

Q-mama

I assume you're not married? Sounds like this is a bad environment for the kids and a bad relationship for you. Stick to your guns, end it and move on. You should probably consult a legal professional about custody arrangements too. And on his way out the door, remind him he has to do the right thing and act in a way that will be best for the children.

*~*TEAM EDWARD ROCKS!!!*~*

hmmm...sounds like a serious problem to me...i think you are absolutely doing the right thing...LEAVE him...hey! i am not trying to break your home but then he does not deserve a better woman like you...you have kids and a whole life to bring them up...don't worry about the kids...they'll be just fine...they'll realize that you were right in doing what you did...you can even talk them and i am sure they'll understand...on the other hand if you don't wanna leave him then its better to seek help...anybody like a counselor or something...maybe HE has a serious problem...have you ever tried to know if he's upset or worried about something?...sometimes men also behave like this IF they have another woman in their life...but you can't be too sure...otherwise it might be only stress unless he has been like this since you married him...believe me a man like him cannot be trusted...he says that he wouldn't do it again but what's the guarantee?...leave him because you have to think about your kids future...God forbid, if something happens to you then you don't know how he'll treat the kids...they might end up being psychos...you wouldn't like that would you?

all the best!

nae

kids ARE NEVER a good reason to stay with your husband that is abusive, because it does the kids more harm than anything. Trust me i know.!
I think devorce insn't always the best option but in your case in my opinion it is. you can always get support with a group of some sort, maybe u will find someone in the same situation your in.

taz

I've been with my boyfriend for seven years . They weren't the best years, but they weren't the worst either. Between these years I've gotten cheated on, and was given Chlamydia. I was told by others to leave him , but our history wouldn't allow me to. I also was all he really had, his family turned his back on him so that of course made it very hard for me to leave him. But what I've come to realize is this, if you are staying in a relationship just to satisfy others needs and forget your own then 4get it.

Neptune2bsure

You heard it all before, I believe you, because that is the wife abuser's MO.

I'm not saying he is not sorry he probably regrets what he did, but he cannot promise it won't happen again if it already has.

Your number one concern is the safety of your children, if he abused you whom he loved for seven years, he will abuse the children. They will fear him if they don't already because they have witnessed violence from him.

Your children need therapy after such trauma, yes it is traumatic to a three yr old to see his mommy being abused by his daddy, he loves you both and doesn't understand. He may show it in acting out, anger towards you and his siblings or friends or toys.

You need protection, you need to let someone in your family know, if you don't have family, let your friends know that you have left him and the reasons why, they will protect you, there are safe houses too you can go too, I know it is hard, and sometimes demeaning, but just think of how much he demeaned you and broke the vow to protect you from harm, he needs help and before you can even think of taking him back he must seek it, for himself for he will be that way with whoever he ends up with...

You will gain supports if you join the community that is out there against abuse towards spouses, children, bullying the list goes on, join one and make a difference...show your children that you loved them enough to protect them from further violence, if you are reported or he is, you may lose your children for failure to protect them. please seek help within your community, and charge him when he hits you it is against the law. stick to your decisions, don't give into the lull of "everything is fine" when it isn't. I pray God grants you the strenght to do what you know you must, because what you are facing is one of life's greatest tragedies..God Bless.

bh37bh37

yes leave

rhiannon0913

When my exhusband started acting like that, it was because he was cheating on me. He projected on me. Leaving him was the best thing I did. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening in front of your kids. Please take them to a counselor. Go, leave, this will not stop.

Good luck!

Shotta

listen you should leave him and then call me if your in the Toronto area I'll be your support

Tess S

been there, done that, got out of it because if you are not happy neither are the children. at first it is hard, but say 2 months later you will have your identity back, like you did when you were in highschool. i met a great guy who we just click. and acceppted my child as his own, we have been together 17 years, but still treats me with love and respect as partnerships should be. we have 2 bueatiful kids plus my duaughter who is spoiled the most. i never regret leaving, could not think about things any other way. dont ponder! put yourself and kids first! find that lost girl that once would not put up with it!!!

Lisa

Nobody should be abused or suffer because of a so called loving relationship. If you are being abused, leave. Seek counselling to strengthen your own self esteem and get strong healthy and well for the sake of your babies. I was in a horrible abusive marriage. I was staying "for the sake of the kids" and my darling little daughter was ready to run away from home when she was aged 12. I realised then, it is my job to protect them and make sure their lives are as good as possible. I left and never had a regret about it. It was hard. I was terrified and had not self esteem and was ill with nerves and had to get a court protection order out because of the violence. My one regret is that I did not leave much earlier. I am not joking that it affected my health. I became an insulin dependent diabetic thanks to an overload of stress and abuse. Please save yourself. Leave. You will feel horrible for the first 3 months. The next three you will be stronger but often be tempted to get back together. Stay strong. At the end of 6 months you will wake up and think... Why the hell did I ever put up with all that abuse for before.

Please take care of yourself and your babies. This man has no respect for your family. Go and do the best you can for yourself and your darling babies. They are worth it.

May the Lord bless you and keep you safe and assist you in strengthening yourself and your babies. Wait and see. There is happiness for you too. But you need to act NOW.

Cheers and best wishes

Lisa

teritaur

this is abuse. Of course it is and you have done the right thing. Find a local shelter for abused women. They WILL help you out. Removing your children from this hostile environment is absolutely the right thing to do. Caring for someone who hurts you is common but really, is it good for your children? I believe you know the answer to this. And of course he apologizes but unless he gets professional help for his behaviour, what do you think? Do you think he'll change? Chances are you know the deal. Confusion is not uncommon either. That's what he wants you fell.
Get to a women's shelter, talk to them, take your kids with you. He won't improve without a lot of help. And you can change your life and your kids lives by doing what you know in your heart you have to do. It's critical. No one will judge you. It's NOT you. You know that too right?
good luck

Pokadots

If you feel that you have to, for the safety and well being of you and your children, seperation can be good for a time. A permanent seperation is not the answer; it will leave both you and your children scarred. Try some sort of counseling. your children need to be secure knowing that their parents love them and eachother. They are at a very vulnerable age and this decision will undoubtedly alter the course of their lives.
Praying for you-
Sarah

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: