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Joe B
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If he was lying, then you have a right to be mad. Although, if he was telling you the truth...then doesn't he have a right to go to his Xmas party? Even if he has to go by himself? |
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Gibaudrac D
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Well, it depends on the size of his secretary's breasts. |
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TammyT
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My husband has a company party like this every year. It's Disney. So not exactly a "cheap" company. The party he went to cost like 300 grand or something.
I had no problem letting him go. Because
1) We have a good relationship.
2) Things like this are rare.
3) If I was in his position, I would want to go.
4) It's important for him to hang out with his friends once in a while. Just like it's important for me to do the same.
5) Any reason that I'd be mad at him, would be selfish ones. So, as soon as I felt annoyed, I realized, that it has nothing to do with him, but my own issues.
Earlier in our marriage, I probably would have been ticked. But then, I was younger, and I was also a little bit nervous that he didn't really love me. But now, after 10 years, I know he loves me. We've been through a lot, and we've come to understand each other. So now, I trust him and I don't worry that he might leave me.
Now that I'm not so clingy, he likes me more. He's said so :) And, to be honest, I like him more too.
Hope this helps! |
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James M
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Party for 300= A Party for 300 + 300 others....2A. It's simple cost cutting math and many companies are doing it. Members only parties. You want to be mad at him for not dissing the company and not going? Not a wise career move. You want to be mad over missing such a gala event with these weasels? What ARE you thinking? Gosh... whip up some fancy treats, open a bottle of bubbly, wrap yourself in tissue, sweatheart, and have your own party with him. I bet he votes yours the best. |
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Cris Tee
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It all comes down to asking yourself if you trust him. If there are things that make you wonder, do not ignore them. That is why we have those feelings. The whole thing sounds fishy. Who the hell has a party for 300 people that is worried about the cost??? It does not make sense, and if it does not make sense, it probably is not true. |
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the_silverfoxx
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most companies have this . no you dont really have a reason to be mad over this sorry to say many companies do this . my opion? |
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cutback
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Get over it! It was his company's party. A way for his employer to say thanks for his work. He had a responsibility to go and support his company. If he went with another woman or spent the night with a co-worker then you could be mad. The fact you stayed home and did nothing is your problem and your choice. Next time go out with friends. |
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nanabooboo
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ONLY employees? BULL. more like he just didnt want his spouse along for SOME reason. |
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beth73065
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I worked as a Nurse for 13 years at a hospital.All parties we were not allowed to bring our husbands and or dates.I think it was because half the doctors wer having affairs with the nurses and didnt want others spouses to know/tell.I personally never went without my husband.if he wasnt welcome neither was I. |
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Ja
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Your husband is full of sh*T and lying to you.What kind of company would say,"And too bad people,but your spouses are not welcome.Merry Christmas."!!!!!!!!!!Find out the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Andee
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Well, it would have been nice had he approached to you by asking if you minded, but I don't think you should be mad at him. Besides, how much fun would you have had being in a room full of his coworkers? An office party is sometimes a great way to blow off a little steam with your coworkers and lighten the office mood a bit. Now, if he was allowed to bring you and didn't...that would be reason to be angry. |
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Kacky
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I actually did work for a place that gave an employee party at a fancy nightclub and you couldn't bring a spouse.
Is it a deal breaker? If not, no sense in being mad about it.
If you really have a gut feeling that you can't trust him, you may be right, but it's still safe to lay low because if he's fooling around or embarrassed to be seen with you, it'll happen again. |
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♥ Ladylike ♥
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Sounds like a story. I would have gone out with some friends then |
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labs
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you must do something to find out the truth about the 'all employee party only'..
if he's lying then you should be mad,. he must be hiding something from you. |
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ckgene
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You shouldn't exaggerate, you need to be suspicious. I never have heard of a Christmas party that had employees that were not allowed to bring their spouse's or a date. |
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ChildrensPeace
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If it was after hours than you might want to find out more about their policy to see if they are family friendly. If they are family friendly than you have a problem.
If the party was during hours, than it's a work place and would be a 50/50 chance of love ones to not allowed to attend. Again you would need to find out if the company if family friendly.
Most large companies aren't that family friendly though. I would call and ask around but again that would be spieing.
This sounds like a trust issue of you to him and it sounds like a possible two world husband trying to keep you out of his job, yet some companies can have policies to Mandate his attendance and still have a no family clause. I would check or let it go. If you husband refuses for you to come to his office during normal business hours for anything; first you need to ask if have been to his office or called several times in the past and it's gotten him in trouble at work, secondly if it was no to the first, you need to think if you husband every allowed to his job on his own, and if that was a yes than you need to consider your over reacting.
Basically without details of past events, it's up to you to determine whether or not you claim to be upset is valid.
My husband unlessed order (he's military) will not go to a function for work unless I can go and I am not busy during that time. Basically he wouldn't leave me home. |
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Jen
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In the past five years I have worked for three different companies full time. One was very large and had close to unlimited resource, and that was the one co. that I was not allowed to bring my spouse to the holiday party.
I think it would be a waste of useful energy to be pissed off about it, unless there are other occurrences that would indicate something else! |
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Cameron B
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its just like any other company event. if ur really not allowed to go then it was just like going to a company meeting. nothing to be mad about. |
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SafetyDancer
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Why would you care? I'd be glad that I didn't HAVE to go, if I were you. Office holiday parties are awful.
Maybe he wasn't as considerate of your feelings as he should have been, but I've gone to such parties with and without my wife and over the years, she is happy not to go. I avoid them if at all possible.
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Sounds to me like there may be other issues in your relationship and that this is just one in a series of evidences of that. |
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MC
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Corporate america is not what it used to be. I had the same scenario with my company. You have to go to the party and make an appearence. But you do not have to stay long. I went to the party for 1 hour and then took my fiance out for a very nice dinner. Family is more important than work. |
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takeshi hongo
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its normal. married men use to have gathering with their old friends or officemates or whatsoever alone without their wife besides them. maybe he's hiding something to you or should i say theres a party were nobody is invited except him. don't get mad. tell him why you can't come. |
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im always right
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no he doesn't want you there be mad at him and go anyways hes probably hiding something from you |
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Mom of Four
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I don't think he should have gone especially if it was in the evening and if you wanted to go...if you didn't want to go and told him to go anyways is when he should have gone |
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misstery
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I don't think that a company would have a holiday party for their employees and ban spouses. I am sorry, but I think there is something else afoot... |
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Shiomi Ryuu
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He's a guy. All the men I know aren't well adapted to being consistently senstive to others feelings every second of the day. It's not like he porposely refused to talk to you about it.
And even if he did talk to you about going to the party, what could he have done? The company can only afford to have a party for only its employees, not their families. That's understandable. Would you have rather him stay home?
The office party is just like a night out with friends. Give your man a little space to enjoy all the hard work they do together.
If you're still bothered by it, talk to him calmly. Tell him you want to go to romantic dinner or other adventures since you had to stay alone that night |
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goldlust74
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i would go out when he is at his works party and not come home until the early hours of the morning. |
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Digz
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Omg..you actually let him go alone.you definitely have every right to be mad at him.first of all if you can't go then he shouldn't go either,he should've just stayed home with you.& what company throws a x-mas party where you can't bring a guest.sound like crap to me.i think maybe he just didn't want you there,cuz he had something to hide.otherwise he would've stayed home. |
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BB2791
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What kind of company is it??? |
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looken4answers
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well i'm a guy and if the company i worked for had a party and my wife was not invited i would not want to go. i think it is possible that he felt some obligation to go , but there is no reason he sould not have talked with you and if you were not comfortable with his going alone he should have made a quick visit at the party and begged out with an excuse that his love was home and not feeling well. |
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Gnome
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I know you feel a bit weird about this whole situation.
But the truth is, there are actually some companies out there that have these kind of policies. I worked for one several years ago, and I thought it was the most audacious statement a company could make, but there it was, in black and white. It was issued on company memo about two weeks before the party . "EMPLOYEES ONLY" I chose not to go.
Perhaps your husband should have asked you how you feel about it, but we all make mistakes, and we husbands are the worst ..
I don't know if you should be mad at him for not. Are you two getting along okay otherwise, in your marriage? I mean, if you are having problems otherwise, then this party thing may be a part of something else going on. Only you can answer that one. |
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Jewel
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I have heard of many many company parties where significant others are not invited. It's to save money. The choice is often: cancel the party entirely, or just invite employees. Usually the powers that be opt for the latter...it's really not a big deal at all.
That being said, it's kind of interesting that going to this party never came up in conversation, assuming that he just didn't show up for dinner that night or what...that DOES seem weird. I guess from your description I don't know the situation exactly, but I would be curious as to why he waited until the day after to tell you!! Even if it were just my roommate. It would kind of make me feel suspicious, like he was avoiding something; or maybe it's a way of expressing independence if he feels like you are being too clingy or something.
Ask him maybe, why he didn't mention it? And that you'd like to share information about his events more in the future? Even if you're not invited...just b/c you're interested?
Then get yourself more busy, right away. It sounds like you are dwelling too much on stuff and he may need more space. If I were in your situation I would join a book club or whatever, learn bellydancing, whatever. Tell him about it and when you will be gone, but have your own separate activities as well (if you don't already). Then it's fun to share what you did separately when you are together.
If he's unhappy with this arrangement, or if you would strongly prefer spending more time with him instead of taking classes or whatever but he doesn't feel the same way, you guys def need to talk, because you have different space requirements.
So in summary: office party banning spouses, perfectly normal; him not telling you about it, oddball antisocial behavior, but not worthy of anger at this point. |
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