Am I going to be making the right decision?

I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months. He is 31 years old, a serious mommas boy, (although he lives on his own) never been married had kids or been in a relationship longer than 3 months until me. I have been wanting to break up with him since I found out he cheated on me with another woman about two weeks ago. I am difficulties trying to get past the emotions that I have since I found out about the cheating. The problem is I am 8 weeks pregnant. I do love him, but, I feel breaking up with him would be the right thing to do. He currently has not worked in over a year and was living off DJ gigs and unemployment, also to add to the turmoil he will be pretty much homeless in about a month. I REALLY wanted things to work out, but, I know that while half of me loves him, half of me doesnt anymore since Ive found out about the cheating. I am planning on breaking up with him face to face, but am kind of afraid to just because I know it is going to hurt him. Am I making the right choice or should I try harder to stay with him?

Maxi

Cons:
A serious mummy's boy
31 years old and never had a long term relationship...because I guess he cheats
You were going to break up with him, because of his cheating...(which will continue because it is part of his life learning, if I guess right)
Not working for over a year

Pro's:
You love him? Do you? If you did you wouldn't go on to say "half of me loves him, half of me doesnt anymore".............you know the reality of a life with this guy.........dead end, none provider, runs to mummy when he can't cope or has an argument or nowhere to live.............do you want to be his next mummy?

Your 8 weeks pregnant....I have to say that is no reason to stay with this guy who treats you do badly he cheats on you..........look after yourself ( as he did)

"I am planning on breaking up with him face to face" yes you should, it is the right way to behave.

" but am kind of afraid to just because I know it is going to hurt him" Hurt him?..........and what did his cheating do to you? Don't get caught up in this guys web of deceit, someone who cares so little for your feelings that he cheats on you....so he thinks he can snap his fingers and you will come running back..............you stay with him and it doesn't look like a bed of roses relationship, just more cheating and you being made to feel guilty if he doesn't get his way...that is the beginnings of abuse.

tell him calmly and unemotionally, write down and practise what you want to say and stick to it, if he interrupts, stop and listen ( don't answer or talk over him) then continue from where you stopped....be assertive, which protects your feelings and acknowledges his howver doesn't change anything...it is not a discussion it is telling him how you feel and what you have decided.

best wishes

Wicked Ways

You let yourself get knocked up by a guy whom you knew to be a 31-year-old lazy-a$$ loser? Sorry, no sympathy here. Pathetic.

bandaid_46

It won't be very hard for you to do so much better... and it might be a good idea for you to end it before he becomes homeless, because if he doesn't move back in with his mom, he will probably want to move in with you.

BTW, if someone cheated on me, I would not be too worried about hurting his feelings.

Queen Agnostic

Break up with him, he is unfaithful... financially unstable and is a mommas boy (that in itself would make me run). You dont need this crap..... you need to focus on your pregnancy, keep yourself healthy, eat well, get sleep and love that little babe. Tell him to get his finances in order because he will be having to pay some money toward the costs of this child. It always hurts to break up but if you stay with this loser, every day will be hurt until you wake up and leave. A baby is a huge responsibility... that helpless child will need all of your attention..... you wont time to mother him.. send him back to his own mommy.

Mikster

Pretty much a year and a half of dating is hard to walk away from no matter who you are unless your feelings really weren't there in the first place. Sounds to me like your heart was truly in it but his wasn't. That's not to say he doesn't have feelings for you but perhaps they weren't as deep as yours. The cheating is him showing his true nature and if I were you I'd get out of the relationship now while you still can before your heartstrings are pulled any tighter. Don't let the child (fetus) affect your decision to do what you know your heart and gut are telling you to do and that is leave now while you can. Do break up with him face to face otherwise you'll be seen as a coward.

Kathryn

Wow - I'm telling you now, leave while you can. I've been unhappy for several years in my relationship and just now finally deciding to leave. Now I regret waiting so long. I should have gone once I knew it was wrong. Things are not going to get better. Make a good life for you and your baby. It may hurt him, but you need to take care of that child now before parenting him - he's an adult. He needs to grow up and take care of himself.

kat22

You should know what the obvious option is in this relationship which is not to continue with a man who is a cheating, unemployed, worthless excuse for a man. If you know what's good for you, you'd leave before he becomes a lifetime bum on your ***.

Pete J

Once a cheater always a cheater! Surely you have heard that expression often enough?

What part of you love him & what part doesn't?

Don't stay for the sake of the unborn child, co's the relationship will only flounder sooner or later when he gets tired of you & cheats again & where will you be! Back in the same predicament your in now!
It's just not worth it!! Get it over ASAP

Cheers

alex07

Very messy, lack wisdom in the first place. I think he is useless. Why do you care if he would be ,homeless, when he sleeps around n hurt you? I pity the unborn baby, sigh...messy, heading for more troubles in future!.

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