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D'Lila.
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Everyone should pick up after thereselve. Don't wash his clothes. My mum did that to my dad and it worked ! |
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Mo
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Remind him of what you are going through and if he wants a Mommy instead of a Wife, he needs to go back home. |
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Deanrijo
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Just keep reminding him that, while you are okay with doing all of the household things now, you will soon be returning to work and you don't want him to get in bad habits that will be hard to break once you are working and the two of you aare sharing the housework. |
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teritaur
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nagging won't work.. believe me. Try going on strike instead.
He should have respect for you and what you do around the house. Part of that respect is behaving like a "grown up" instead of a dork expecting someone to clean up after him. I mean really!
So... stop picking up after him. I never picked up my husband's stuff. If it wasn't in the laundry hamper, I didn't wash it. If the dishes weren't in the dish washer they didn't get washed. I kept a few clean plates and things for myself but stopped being a maid. My kids got that message too and were actually faster on the pick up than the husband was. ( his mom used to walk behind him cleaning up... it took a lot of training!)
You might also want to have the conversation with him ... "so... how is all this housework and cooking stuff going to work once I go back to work? What do you see changing here?" and see how he responds. Guaranteed he won't see that coming.
Good luck! |
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bigsky74
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Thats a tough, I think that he has a lack of respect. You not working has caused that even though I know your current situation. You can either pick up after him or stop. He rpobably won't care either way. |
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Teri ann Sensible.
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You are right.He is disrespecting you and I suggest that if he acts like a kid then treat him like one! |
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The Teacher
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If you are a Strong person, (I don't mean physically strong but Strong minded) I would leave everything a mess and let him "flip" or pitch in and help clean. So he works 8 hrs a day! You work 8 plus and tell him so!!! Come on girl, this is the age of share and share alike. If he "flips" too much, ask him what's for dinner because you are flipping out with his attitude! Good Luck. |
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LittleBrain
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That is disrespectful, not relevant if you are working or not. You are his wife not his maid. You should still be treated with respect, including please's and thank you's and he should be making an effort to help you with domestic chores. |
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duffie_1999
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LEAVE his junk where it lies. Tell him you are not his mother, but his wife and that you are more then happy to take care of the house while you are not able to work, but you are not willing to wipe his rear since he is acting like a kid. I would discuss with him what his expectations are when you do work and that you come up with an equitable division of labor while you are both working. When hubby and I were both working, he did the cooking (which he likes to do and I hate) and all the outdoor stuff. I did everything else. However, my hubby is a nice guy and NEVER gave me a hard time if I asked for a little help. |
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lilsnob8681
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I know how you feel. I just had a baby three months ago and I had the same thing happen to me. What I did was sit my husband down and tell him about how I felt. I told him that even though I stay home and don't work 40 hrs/week that staying home is also a big chore. Tell him you are not expecting him to clean the whole house. But just simply pick up his clothes. Tell him how much of a difference that can make in your day. It sounds like you are already showing that you appreciate him. So maybe he is the one who needs a reality check. No man should flip out about something little. He is just mad because he is the only one working. It is probably a jealousy thing. I hate to say this but if worst comes to worst only pick up after yourself, only do your laundry and do things around you. Then they will realize once they have nothing to wear and their things are all over the house how much of a job that you do. It works. Just stand up for yourself! Sorry for the long response. Good Luck! |
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choir_kid9
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tell him you do all the work in the house and he should helo you out since you dont get to work... idk. or bribe him :) |
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Mika2t8
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dont pick up after him leave everything around him dont do anything for him and he will soon have to do it or go away for a bit and he will have to cope on his own
hope i helpedxxxx |
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Lacey
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Leave it there! Just because you stay at home does not mean that you are his maid, nor his mother. My husband was the same way when we first got married and I just left everything where it was. He finally got tired of it and started picking stuff up.
These days, I stay at home as well and my husband works two jobs. When my husband actually does have time off he has enough respect for me to help out around the house if something needs to be done. We have two children, so there is always something to be done at my house. |
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johnnysbabe_4ever
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Some men expect there women to be their slave. Its your fault....you should flip with him and maybe he will get the point. Mine use to be the same way, until he got tried of me complaining. But really he should pick up after himself, Sounds like he has been used to Moma doing everything for him! |
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celticbuddha
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nope. but i'd see where this permanent status is in it's process of being granted to you first. then get a job, and if the present situation does not change any, definitely approach it with vigor. you aren't ward and june cleaver. but he's obviously not going to look at you as contributing anything until you have a job and are closer to "his level". |
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¸.•*´`*♥To0DaMnFaBuL0uS♥*´`*•.¸
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tell him in an angry tone WELL I KNOW YOU WORK BUT IF I COULD YOU DONT THINK I WOULD I MEAN SERIOUSLY YOU ARE NOTHING WIOTHOUT ME I MEAN I COOK I CLEAN I PAY BILLS AND WHAT DO YOU DO JUST WORK!!AND IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE SOMETIMES!you are definitely right not him! |
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cooter726
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Tell him to cut you a paycheck. |
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tater
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That isn't fair to you. I would sit down and calmly tell him that though you don't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning since he is making the money you are starting to feel taken advantage of. Try to say "I feel" rather "You do" (don't attack) and tell him that it hurts your feelings. Also remind him that it isn't your fault that you can't work yet. I hope that once you do get a job that he agrees to help with cooking and cleaning and that he doesn't think it is your duty as a "woman" to do it all. Good luck!! If he still won't listen to you, I would stop picking up his stuff. Leave it there (no matter how much you hate looking at it!) |
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ms_beehayven
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Tell him you won't do his laundry unless he puts it in the wash. You won't pick up his dirty dishes from the living room. Tell him you're his wife not his slave and if he has any respect for you he'll help you keep the place clean. Then stick by your guns. |
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Devdude
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Ask him what his excuse will be when you start working here. He should be more considerate. he should WANT to be helpful and to make you happy! How did you meet this winner of a male specimen? |
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kes
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sit him down, and dicuss your issue, explain to him, your feelings on the issue, and just remind him that when you are able to work you will be just as tired as him, take in turns, me and my partner work asa team, if he in first, he does, and visa verse, not all men are couch pots, |
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sexyexotik
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i am sorry you have to deal with that. Thats the bad thing about not working when your man does all the work and you have to be at home catering to him because he is the one with the income. In his eyes, he works so he can lay up in the house and be as messy as he wants since you are not working. Its unfortunate how men think but thats the way it is no matter who you are staying with and you are not working. seems like you are going to have to just pick up after him and deal with it until you get a job and once you do, then he can pick up after him self and you can throw his stuff at him LOL |
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PlainPinkTee13
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Tell him that you can't be in a relationship when you're constantly feeling like a maid and have to do everything and if it continues then threaten to leave him. He'll soon get his act together. =] x |
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nonameblonde
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I don't think you're wrong at all. This seems to be just a common courtesy thing with him. Maybe just say that to him, something along the lines of, "You know, I don't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning while I'm waiting to be able to go to work (emphasis that), but throwing your stuff on the floor makes me feel like you're treating me like the maid and it appears to me that it's just common courtesy for you to at least not do that. Thanks." |
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Cliff R
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Sure, you do your clothes and anything that happens to make it to the hamper. Do your own dishes and anything that happens to make it to the sink.
When he runs out of clothes to wear then maybe he'll be ready to hear what you have to say. |
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Dr. D
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Just because you aren't paid a salary doesn't mean you don't work. Remind him that tending to housework is 'work'...unfortunately this is a tough one because his mindset feels since he gets a paycheck then he's entitled to be a slob. While you wait on your status you can stop cleaning up after him and remind him that you are his wife and not his mother! |
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