Am I selfish for this... ?

The WiÅ¾ard

Hey Jenny, I know you are going to get a bunch of answers saying yes you should back off and let him do what he wants, but he shouldn't want to be like that. He should want to spend that time with you. It basically sounds like hes blowing you off alot in favor of his friends and thats definitely wrong.
Him not wanting you to go with him on the tattoo things sounds very suspicious.

sheloves_dablues

He's an @ss..

Mindy S

i would be pissed!
he stayed out the night before till 3:30 and then went out again the next night and didnt come home till 7am...are you kidding me!?
i think i would ask him about that first
telling you that you are selfish is a way to distract you from what is really going on

reality check please

teritaur

a little of both I think. Did you communicate to him in advance what you wanted? Did he communicate in advance what he wanted?

Sounds like you two are talking at cross purposes or not talking at all.
It all sounds like he still thinks he's a single guy who doesn't have to take into account the needs and desires of his life partner. Kind of childish... and little 18 yr old behavior to be out drinking all night.

rcButterfly

He very clearly let you know where you stand in his life. So now what?

Maggie May

Wake up girl....you obviously are not the one he wanted to spend his birthday with. And, if guys are more important than his girlfriend...wow....what does that tell YOU. You can do better. I'm telling you...you can and should do better than him.

ICU

He sounds like the selfish one...To top it off, why is a married man staying out at all of the night with is so called buddies? Sounds fishy to me and it stinks!

â™¦justmeâ™¦

I would have been mad. He is MARRIED, why is he going out until 7 a.m. without you? I don't care if it's his birthday or not, that is totally disrespectful towards you. I would be wondering if someone else didn't get to do something special for him instead of you.

Ms. M

I think you should just take off on your birthday and don't come back until the next day...He'll get it then.

mafiosu

He's selfish and you have a right to be angry. If he wanted to do "whatever" he wanted he could have been considerate of your feelings and told you ahead of time. Let him know when he points the finger at you for being selfish, there are three more pointing in his direction.

Pam

Wow, I wouldn't trust him. Something is up especially if this is out of character for him.

DeltaForce

Why does he prefer spending time with his friends than with you?

Sweet Suzy 777!

I would be livid if my husband stayed out all night and then called me selfish. Why do you let him treat you so badly? He is putting himself and his buddies before you. He's a married man and should not be staying out all night in the first place.

I would become very distant and unconcerned when it comes to him, I would not call after him or look for him and I would hardly even notice when he comes home. I would find something else to do.

I would also make sure I was not at home when he comes wondering in after an all nighter with out me. He is too sure of you. You need to put some mystery into the mix. Two can play at that game. If you have kids get a sitter. Go out with out him, see how he doesn't like it one bit.

You right now are the insecure one who lets him get away with this bad behavior, turn it around and make him insecure.

Perkymo

Why do men only think of themselves? Drives me insane. That was just rude of him and to not want you to come when he got his tattoo, what's up with that? You have every right to be mad and he's the selfish one, not you.

Melissa L

wellllllllll........ sounds like he spent his B-day with who he wanted to .... and yea he sounds like a @ss and imo you have every right to be hurt and upset . good luck to ya

Wanna-Be-Mommy

I'd be pissed too! Why wouldn't he invite you to go WITH him and why didn't he want you to go with him to his tattoo appointment? Does he act like this all the time or is it out of the ordinary? I would sit him down and have a serious conversation with him... put him in your shoes... tell him your plans for your birthday (not including him) and see if he likes it much!

I_Love_McRedneck

Most people WANT to spend special occasions with the ones they love. Not wanting you to go with him to get his tattoo makes me wonder who he DID want going with him instead. I doubt he was alone, cuz it doesn't sound like you're very high on his priority list.
He's an @ss-clown, you need to tell him to shape up or ship out. People don't treat you badly if you don't let them.

â™¥Starsâ™¥Râ™¥

You have the right to feel this way, he Rather's to be with his friends on this day than you, what kind of relationship is this. You should of done something special together, but the way he was treating you I would have been mad...

Spring

You have every right to be mad! You paid for his tatoo and you couldn't even go with him.

He was an a$$! If he had wanted a day "with the guys" he should have told you before.h

redpeach_mi

i think that your birthday is the one day of the year that you can get away with being totally selfish. it's his birthday, he should be able to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. within some boundaries of course. it's not like he can have a full weekend party with a bunch of strippers or something. i know that you wanted to do things with him and that it hurt you that he didn't want to spend more time with you on his birthday, but that's the difference between men and women.

maya

nope your not selfish, you have all right to be mad at him, & when he has you why spend his time with friends without you
i think there something wrong with him
keep your eyes open maybe hes cheating on you
i hope i'm wrong about this

ndnqt1966

No your aren't being selfish he is! And something is not right when he makes excuses for you not to go with him to get his tattoo....that tells me he is up to something.....I think he is a cheating on you!

EDIT: I totally agree with the lady above me...exactly what I was thinking.....you would be wise to do some investigation....there is far more going on with him and than just him not wanting to spend his birthday with you.... should be the least of your worries.

Monkey

Men just don't understand that we plan things and think in our heads about how to make them happy and treat them special. Sometimes they are clueless as to our feelings. I think its messed up. He's your hubby you wanted to spend time with him. It is his birthday but he should want you to be part of it and included. Then you could have done those special things like you wanted. It was sorta selfish of him, my man does stuff like this and I hate it. I know its just because he doesn't get it...but that same old excuse for them gets old. Long story short you have a justifiable reason for this bugging you.

Baby Girl #1 on its way!

I agree. You can do better. I don't except my husband to spend his whole B-Day with me but he does. He always makes sure I'm involved because he says I'm his best friend. He should've wanted you there.

No you are not selfish, you have the right to be angry. Why because he is a married man and now its not about having fun and going out with his budies but about spending time with you. I mean it's fine for him to go out with his friends once in a while but he also needs to consider you on his birthday.

Penny

Um no your not being selfish. you expect to be included in on things a little bit. It was hurtful for him to blow you off like that. It maybe his day but your still his wife and deserve to be treated like it even on his day. That's the pot calling the kettle black. He has showed how selfish he is. There are men that get to live that way they are called bachelors. He needs to remember that he isn't one.

tersey562

Most loving couples want to spend their special days with the one they love the most (which should be you for him). I don't think you were being selfish at all for trying to plan a very nice day for him. He was/is being immature and secretive and really owes you an explanation for his behavior. Why wouldn't he want to spend a special day with you and you tried so hard to plan something that would be nice for him. Good luck and God Bless.

the OTHER sister

i'd be really p!ssed. sounds like he's doing alot of lying & possibly cheating.

justagirl

I think you have a right to be angry. Sure it's his birthday but he didn't want to involve you in it he should have at least said so upfront so you could make other plans. But the fact that he didn't want to spend ANY of his birthday celebration with you sounds like he's really not that into you.

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