Am I to blame?

sonic_the_hedgehog_rules

No. Absolutley not.

fabzta

cant have a relationship without trust i would probably do the same thing if i was in your shoes

gottheanswer

no my friend you are not wrong. (i once served our country) and i for one know how hard it is to be away and have reason for mistrust. if you have reason to believe shes being unfaithful don't ignore it or it will eat you away. but its little you can do from where you are now. so i advise you to hire a private investigator and let him get you the proof that will ease your mind. and when you return home, you can decide what you want to do. but you have to do something, but please DON'T blame your self.. and one more thing, if she cheated before she CAN/WILL do it again so you have reason for the mistrust.

Naveen Agarwal

you found out last year that ur wife had an affair. the question is was she continuing with it or was it a dead affair..suppose either way.so now whether Ur current suspicion is because of confronting her with things she lies to you.i take either way. she might have some of friends who might be in problem but r not of repute . so she does not want to disclose their identity. it may be a cause of lying to u . so u can trust her till u have reasons to to feel that she is mistrusting with u.

You are not wrong.

A man should never have to work so hard to verify his wife is loyal.

Cadman1965

No sir...and thank you for your service to OUR country...she is out of line and doesn't deserve the support of you or the pay and benefits you afford her..do what you have to do for the kids cause if she's lying to you she probably isn't doing what she should be by your precious little ones either...sorry things turned out this way for you...she probably has 1 million reasons why she is doing what she is...but she is lying to you and so you can't trust her...with anything.

Sunny

No way are you wrong. You deserve to know the truth. The children deserve better. Not saying that she is a bad mother, but if the two of you can not be loving and trustworthy with each other, then your children will not learn to find those qualities in their spouses as they grow up. Trust is too important a key part of a marriage to have it wasted. Good luck.

Renate

You need to be clearer. Wrong in what? Susspecting your wife? Invading her privacy? Hitting her? Trying to keep a marriage ?

PATTY H

She obviously isn't cut out to be a military wife.
I do not think you are wrong at all. Unfortunately, you are overseas...

D baby

Love should not be a chore. Yes there is work to be put in but as a labor of love. Not to make sure she is being faithful. You both have to decide if it's worth saving and seek counseling. If not then end it. It will be more painful to prolong it and you will develop a mistrust that will carry on to future relationships. And no it's not your fault that she cheats. That is not the way to live. Hopefully she will work her issues out and you will find peace within yourself. Good luck.

start 6-22-06 summer time Mom

no you are NOT wrong so sorry to hear that she's doing this. You should ask her if all she cares about is
her self & satisfying her own desires. Ask her if she
cares @ all re. how this is making you feel & how your
children will feel when this gets out. Maybe you can
work out things by having her get some counceling.
I know your far away, but you should try to communicate
w/ her whenever you can & let her know that you
want to work out things w/ her & that if she cares she
should STOP.
best of luck & God bless you

You cannot prevent someone from cheating on you by spying on them. If that is something they want to do then they will. Consider doing something more useful like going to marriage counseling. Sometimes you will find out things about yourself that will make a big difference in your relationship and where you want it to go. You might find it is best to let her go rather than keeping a disfunctional family together; this might not be best for you or your children. You might find that she is willing to change after hearing the prospective of another person, but if she doesn't change then don't continue to make yourself unhappy because going to Iraq is difficult enough. Keep your mind focus on the task at hand for now which is Iraq, and when you get home try counseling but don't let her continue to do this. Sometime what is best for your family is a happy family and maybe you can find happiness with someone else that is willing to respect you, your family and your marriage. Good luck.

angrysandwichguy2006

Sound like your relationship is screwed up. She sleeps around and you violate her privacy: great.

sweetme

You are not wrong....she is just a wrong one.... a big cheat.

Pammie

No, you are not wrong. You should leave, or better yet have her leave. Apparently she has many other suitors she can live with.
I know it is easy for all of us to say. In the long run you will be happy that this marriage ended. If you allow this marriage to con't you will whipped...meaning that you confidence level will drop and you personally will feel like you have no self worth. Do not allow that to happen. It takes a long time to get that back. You need to be strong and supportive for your children. They are the most important.
I wish you the very best!!

singitoutloudandclear

you are not wrong if you did not start the suspicions. your mutual friends told you first. you just investigated it. please do not blame yourself. she is the one cheating. you are serving your country and she is taking advantage of you being gone. When I was in the Air Force, my (now) ex-husband did the same to me. It is very common in military families unfortunately.
you need to make a big decision about your life, and it is not easy when you are deployed. You have alot to think about, but you being wrong is not one of them. You need to make sure she is not giving you any STD's think about that on top of your relationship. When you get home, talk to her about it. I don't see any point in it when you are on the other side of the world. it will only make it harder on you over there.

Blessed Be.

i'm just saying this as advice---girls don't like it when you violate their privacy, no matter how in danger your relationship is. i don't see how snooping around anyway could help your marriage. why don't you talk to her about it, without an accusing tone in her voice, and tell her how you feel and how worried you are? even if she's not cheating she may feel like doing so just to get back at you for hacking her email and listening to her voicemail. it sounds like you need to have a serious talk with each other, in my opinion.

No, if you have hard evidence that she is cheating and you KNOW she's done it before.... Walk away. IF SHE'S NOT WILLING TO TRY YOU CAN'T DO IT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU -Believe me - i know.

Maybe it' is wrong to hack and all (it is illegal isn't it?? lol) but at the end of the day - you were right, so sort it out and get YOUR life on track again.

Best Wishes to you in Iraq, be careful!

Come home soon!

D*

ambidextrous25

No you not wrong.
But how much more evidence do you need to prove that she is cheating on you.
You need to examine yourself and ask the question do I want to stay with a partner who cheats from time to time or not?

greenbaypackers1920

Hey man, You didn't do anything and You have giving everything you giving her... you had beautiful children. I think that you should do is when you get back home and use that hard evidence... when you do make sure you get full custody of that children and then get the lawyer show him this and that you are done and I want her to pay the child support... when that happen then she screw and she will be paying child support for long time and you put your children first.

you don't need to or try to fix the marriage. Once cheating is too many... You didn't do anything wrong, she should of trust you and and tell you how she feels and stuff but she didn't and she made that choice to cheat on you and lie to you and still do.

I want to thank you for what you did for our country, I wish I can go and help! but I am deaf and Can't talk theyw ould not let me. But hang in there buddy. I hope you doing ok. think postive.

top momma

I feel very bad for you and I'm sorry that you are so far from home and trying to keep your family together.
First of all if you know that she is going out on you then you need to just let her go.
Hard to do I know, but If she keeps doing this to you its not fair to you or your kids.
It sounds to me that she wants a different life then the one she has now.
Their should be no secrets between you and her. You cant make someone feel the way you do. It will hurt like holy hell and you'll always ask yourself why but that will subside and you will find someone who will love you and want to grow old with you.
May peace be with you!

Mr ME

1) dump the slu*t

2) use all evidence at court to leave her without a penny in support

3) get yourself a cute nice new girl (girls don't lack in this great world)

4) AND BE A MAN FOR GOD's sake. IN fact your wife may respect you more if you dump her, instead of being a pu*ssy and throwing yourself at her feet. Believe me. Sorry to be crude - but that's how a certain proportion of women function...the worse you are..the more they are attracted to you!

good luck pal!

sinned

if you wat to keep her, you must ignore her cheating. once a cheater, always a cheater. if you can forgive that, she might stay in the marriage. she can't be honest because she is a cheater. good luck.

richardare69

dump her she,ll screw not just anybody but she screw your head up .and just give peace and love to your beautiful children.

marichusiarot

your wife is stupid,,sorry for that but thats my opinion!!!why should she lie to you and find another man when according to you that you love her so much.if i am in her position,i wouldn't do that!!!i have my conscience and i really hate people whose cheating..maybe bcause im contented with only one man..i never cheated my bf now...i love him too like you love your wife...talk to her about that matter,tell her that you have an evidnce and you know evrything!!

little ace

well i feel very sorry for you but you are not home any more and she need attention like other women do and what you are doing to her you are tearing your marriage apart you cant stop thing from happening you cant stop the future if she going to cheat on you then she well and there nothing you can do about it.but i would keep your mind on your job and worry about your wife when you get back home because other people are counting on you especially your troop that you are working with in war zone you need to keep focus.

heykidddj

Relationships are built on trust. You didn't destroy it, she did. It's only natural for you to have these feelings. If you have the proof she is doing it again, maybe it's time to move on. I hate to say it, but sometimes losing something can make people see what they had. However, you definitely need to make sure she doesn't keep the children if she is going to fool around. Make her visit them and go without the family because you shouldn't have to. What kind of wife would cheat on her husband while he's off to war... wow...... no offence but wow. You could die and all she cares about is getting her freak on.... sad.

AMY L

hacking her emails and stuff in my opinion thats a bit harsh!!! but i dont think you can have a relationship with someone when there is no trust there, my partner had an affair we had huge arguments over it adn to be honest i can trust him never to do it again, just sit down together and talk, if you keep doin what your doin checkin up on her you are gona push her further and further away, just think bout it....... good luck xxxxx

bash

an absolute NO

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