Am I too much to ask my husband to quit contacting/sms-ing this particular female friend?

carole

I think that for anyone to ask a spouse to stop contacting a friend makes the asker look insecure and unattractive. If you feel he is straying for fun and romance, be more fun and romantic. If you do not have the time and inclination to tickle him in this way, then allow him his space. Being a loving and supportive spouse means trusting your partner - and if you don't trust your partner you don't have much of a marriage.

I will also say that thoughts do become things, my friend. We receive in our lives that which we dwell upon in our hearts and in our minds. If you hear yourself saying again and again "I don't like that relationship" the universe will give you a good reason not to like it. Instead, stop those thoughts by gently reminding yourself what a great marriage you have and how terrific your husband is. You might even try visualization - seeing your husband with love in his eyes with you next to him. Paint a very vivid picture and let the powers that be know exactly what you want. Don't give his friend a second thought - she is inconsequential.

Peace!

OrangeCharlie

He needs to stop because it makes you uncomfortable and uneasy. It's not a rediculous request. He's a married man and should know better than to flirt with another woman.

manders030405

They always say that. He wouldn't be contacting her if there was nothing going on, especially if they're flirting. The only thing I can tell you to do is tell him exactly how you feel. You aren't comfortable with him contacting her and if he really loved you, he'd stop, and tell her to stop. Otherwise, leave for a bit and see how he likes that.

Masceo

If it continue to bother you, tell him again how you truly feel and how uncomfortable you are about it. Be patience with him, if he truly love you, he will stop!

Sparkles

Geniune advice: Tell him it is you or her, and that even though he assures you there is nothing between them, it is very hurtful for him to do it. It is not too much to ask your husband to quit contacting her.

Peaches

When you are married and committed to another person you want to be able to trust them, but when you find that they are being/allowing someone to be flirtatious it can hurt the other party. This boils down to a respect thing. Did you tell your husband how you feel about them sms to each other. If the problem still is going on after you let him know how you feel then ask him how would he feel if you were to do the same thing to him. It is very disrespectful for him not to have put the other women in her place from the beginning considering they are both married. You have every right to feel the way that you do and you should not let this go because it is possible that it could turn into something else if it doesn't stop now.

BimmerGirl

Well I am married and I would NOT let my man do that ...It could be interesting to know if HE would let you flirt with your just guy friend? But anyway, that is NOT right what he is doing, I mean he is married and thats just not right! He needs to respect you, and that is no respect.

redneckbabie77

Theres one way you can do this you can make up and name and pm him and tell him that you are her, and firt with him and see how far he will take it and then if it gose too far print it out and the ask him and if he lies about it sho him your print out...

girlincali

I can not believe you have put up with this--it is just wrong--I hope there is nothing going on--it prob just flirtation--but you have a total right to message her back and tell her to leave your hubby alone--he may be waiting for you to show him how much you care and tell her to back off--men are funny like that. She is the unhappy one in her marriage--woman don't do that for "fun". Your hubby is a man and doesn't realize her intentions.

sportsfreak61787

Just be honesty w/ him tell him how you feel and tell him it makes you uncomfortable and you would like him to stop. If he doesnt listen or tries to tell you nttn is going on that means hes gonna keep doing it because he likes the attention from this particular female friends, and this is something you shouldnt stand for. If he dismisses it or tells you no then tell him maybe its not working out because if hes not willing to stop messaging this girl for you who knows what else he might do further down the line.

don't worry about him, you can send similar sms to me and then you can start enjoying life again.

He will soon become upset about what your doing and he will stop on his own out of fear of losing you.

Al B

Ask him if he wants a divorce. when he says no, tell hi there must be something wrong with your relationship if he is flirting with other girls online.

stardust

No, it's normal. Ask your husband "how does it feel if your husband is in your position?, his wife send flirtatious sms to her male friend"
Give more attention to your husband, make yourself pretty, he will think twice ever cheating on you

Maybe try to investigate the number, find more info bout her. if your husband's honest, he will tell you everything about his female friend, even ask you to check on her yourself, asking her to go meet you or call you to tell that nothing's going on between your husband and her

robert KS LEE.

u can only advise ur hubby n not quarrel as this w'd make the situation worst.u try to find out the other party n discuss with her sincerely.i hope it should be ok to settle down in peace.

sunita

If you insist on him to stop, he will find someother way to flirt. You should fin a way to make your relationship stronger, by being more romantic with him. As long as you do not suspect about any other intimate relationship, you should not worry.

freshbliss

Tell him if he respects your feelings he will quit it NOW.

Summerly, loving life

I think your in your right and he should comply. If he doesn't then all you have to do is do the same thing with a guy or tell him if he would mind if you did that? If he says he wouldn't mind then take him up on it and see if he likes it.
The truth is the truth and the truth is that one can't feel the burn in till it buns us in the same manner.

ANU U

never mind its only a sms.

~*~Tessa~*~

Just tell him this bothers you.

BEACHRESCUE

tell him to stop unless you are doing the same thing.They say all men cheat,but I can name more women that cheat than I can name men who cheat.
Ask him to stop but do do not do it from an accusing standpoint.

mac&cheese

Don't tell him it's you or her. That's bad advice. Not because I think he would choose her, but because that shows a lack of love and commitment on your part. If you want him to commit to you, he must know that you will be there for him. No, it's not too much to ask. If the messages are flirtatious, then they are inappropriate and you have every right to be uncomfortable with it. If the situation was reversed, I'm sure he would not want you flirting with another man. That is not conducive to a healthy marriage. I'm sure your husband is innocent and he might be a little upset about your request, but explain it to him calmly and tell him that it hurts your feelings. He should comply and it will all pass.

HOPE

Honestly, I dont see anything wrong. But to be quite honest w/you that is not right if they are flirting with each other, that leads to other things. To have a friend is one thing to disrespect each others partner behind each others backs, doesnt look good on both parties. Her husband is not giving her any attention so shes getting it from your husband. Ask your husband if his so called female friend's, husband is aware of his wife acting like a **** with a married man on the internet? Your husband is acting childish, that woman has no respect for herself. Look into counseling, you dont want to push him away into her arms...

christinedaae

I would tell him to stop because it's not right. That's why your married, he don't need other girlfriends.

my2cents

Absolutely not!

If he were my husband I'd have him choose between the floor and the door because he was guaranteed to hit one of them if he didn't cut the crap.

He should be respecting you. Approach him without being too emotional. No screaming or pleading. Just calmly communicate with him (away from the TV and not in bed) and tell him that it bothers you. You consider it disrespectful and it makes you wonder whether he can be trusted. Trust is a major part of any relationship. You are his priority. How would he feel if the situation were reversed? There is no reason why anyone should be flirtatious with your husband.

Forget his assurances that there is nothing between them. One of them thinks it ok and it could only be a matter of time before they both agree. BTW of course, you CAN stop the other party from sending to your husband. If you socialize with her or her husband, let it slip in conversation.

"What do you two talk about in your text messages, anyway? You sure seem to have a lot to talk about."

Screw her. He's YOUR husband. Remember honey, the DOOR or the FLOOR.

Good luck.

Tim H

I don't care if she is married or not, if they are flirting it could lead to something. Stop it NOW, if it doesn't call the woman and tell her to knock it off, if she doesn't then you KNOW somthing is really going on.

This should be your husbands issue though to put a stop to it, tell him to tell her to stop, that's it. If it's "nothing" then why wouldn't he respect your wishes?

oldmomfromportland

You are not asking too much....
be sure to tell your husband why this bothers you.

Don't nag, belittle, whine or get mad at him...just tell him
"I really don't like that you are communicating with another woman-even if you say there is nothing going on, it makes ME uncomfortable so I'm requesting that you stop".

If he does consider YOUR feelings as important- he'll stop.

aries8422

you need to be open with him. if it really bothers you that much, tell him. just b/c he's married and she's married doesn't mean that nothing can ever happen between them. this is how things start out. he should respect your feelings. if not, ask him how he would feel if things were turned around and you were the one texting and messaging another guy. i don't think he'd like that very much.

Autumns Destany

get on the computor and pretend to be him and see what comes up...

or get on the computor and find you a man to become flirtatious with then let your hubby find it.. and see what he does... then when he throw a fit tell him there's is nothing going on because the other man is married... married men and women have flings everyday... your not stupid so don't pretend that you are..

happy das

he has a friend. He used to chat with that girl, but one day she told that she love him. I scolded that girl, and next day when he went ofice she told we wil be friends and he told i agreed for that. Again she msgs him but i couldn't bare that. Ours is love mariage. And iam 18 yrs and he is 20yrs. Help me please.

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