Am I wrong for doing this?

So my wife and I are going through a divorce. We started splitting up some of our stuff. We don't have much because we were only married for like 6 months at best before she decided she doesn't like me or whatever. Anyhow, I said I want the vacuum and the camcorder and she can have the new mattress, they work about about even on what we paid for the 3 items. I tried asking her when she was going to pick it up her stuff (she has been living with a friend for about a month now). She would always answer "dunno."

Well Wednesday, she calls me and says she is coming over with Andrew to pick up some stuff Thursday. I say ok. The only Andrew that I know that she knows is her 11 year old cousin. I figure that she is just taking him out, she does that from time to time. Also, I figure bring him would defuse any arguments. Now, knowing that she can't lift heavy object because of her health, the age of her cousin and the size of her car, I'm assuming they are just moving little things. She also asks me if I could leave for a bit. I say ok (being a nice guy and all, my mistake).

So I'm hanging out with a friend, and I get a text, "I think we are taking the bed." She ends up taking the bed, despite me calling and asking where I'm suppose to sleep. Anyhow, she is gone with the bed and some of her stuff before I can even call her back and figure out what she is doing.

The next day I have the locks changed. I should mention, she isn't paying rent, and actaully owes me money for the bills and rent. I didn't tell her I changed the locks, figure she can find out the way I found out the bed and sheets were gone. Is it wrong of me to do this?
Additional Details
I'm not suing her for the bed, she can have the bed, we agreed on that. And I honestly don't care about the money, it is more of the principal of the matter. I've been nice to her, I've offered time and time again for her to come back so we can work on things. But she has decided she rather run off that work on a marriage with a man that truely loves her.

I mean, it could just be me, but taking a bed without notice is rude.

Today she found out I changed the locks, I told her I didn't do it because I was mad at her, but rather to protect myself because it is clear she doesn't care what happens to me.

BrandyBoo

Nope- Not at all.
Sounds fair to me.
=]

She sounds a little insane if you ask me.
Haha.

Kaleb

hell no. good choice.

Sweet Pea

Nope, not wrong at all. gotta protect your assets.

iiidontknowdoyou

Nope, but you were a fool to leave and let her be at your home alone! You have to pay for stupid, guess that's what the bed went for!

Cam

No, you are getting a divorce, so she doesn't need to let herself in and out of your house without your permission... and she wont figure out you changed the locks unless she tries to get in..

Heart Felt

No, what you are doing is not wrong. You offered her the bed and she got it. She is done

stilettos

no...it's karma, dear. (:

besides, she doesn't live there anymore...
AND you pay for it, so it's your apartment/house.

Landkins

Its not wrong.

TheScraps

changing the locks, no.

being angry that the bed is gone after you agreed that she could have it....wrong.

i would let the rent issue go if possible, simply to make the divorce as easy as possible.

em.i.am

No way! She wants to play unfair then you can play that game, too. Don't you dare let her take anything else unless it's even Steven. She owes you money.

Jess

But didnt you agree that she could have the bed?!....No changing the locks is not bad...I would do the same...and actually I have stayed there to make sure she didnt take anything she was not supposed to!!!!

luckywife

no but don't you think locks should have been changed before hand. why would you leave the house Knowing your stuff is there.sounds like things should have been split with the court things.

Julia G

No, but I would warn her that you changed the locks and that if she wants something she should ask you to give it to her. If she is lookin for free stuff then that could b a problem

Richard Tickle

no. unless she is on the lease or owns the property you don't have to let her in there when you aren't home. Also, didn't you did say that "she can have the new mattress".

hell no
if i were you i'd leave the old locks and plant some claymores in the apartment

joe_fleeman

No your not wrong for doing this.

AvGass

You already told her she could have the bed. It sounds like you were being a bit of a control freak when she didn't deliver a response quickly enough.
Divorces always seem to get so messy. The only advice I can give, is to constantly remind yourself to act like an adult.
However, changing the locks was a stellar idea. I think as for the rent/bills....count your losses and lose the chick. You're lucky the bed and some unpaid bills is all you're out. Sorry man.

isabella

no, why wuld yuu be wronge

..yu just dont want her going into yur stuff thats all

duckpondgirl

Definately not. What she did was rude and inconsiderate. She should have been a little more mature and talked things through with you before taking stuff without you knowing. Changing the locks was a good idea. It will now REQUIRE communication before splitting up your belongings.

be happy

its not wrong

Psycho Therapist

cover your can

dream

nope alot nicer then most men i know that would have when over and got it back you are fine let her act like she is 2 and you be the man you are .

killerbread

she sounds like a *****

Janet W

If she wants to play sneaky then no your not wrong. She shouldn't have moved anything and expected you to leave. Please don't leave next time, tell her that if she wants anything she needs to talk to you and that means you'll need to be there.

Spydr

Not at all. Good move. You are thinking!!! Very good. Now, do yourself a favor, go out, have a nice quiet dinner. Treat yourself to a little bit of luxury. Forget the bed, that can be replaced. Live and learn, learn and live. Good luck!

Gina

Well for starters, if she's not living there and actually USING the apartment and utilities, she doesn't have to pay for them. What sense does that even make? She doesn't owe you a darn thing. Sorry dude...but you're going through a divorce and living seperately. Your apartment is not her home anymore. It's just yours!

Also, I don't get why you're annoyed that she took the bed. The two of you agreed that she could take the bed - you told her she could have it. Anyone would assume that you meant she could take it anytime, that you already had something else worked out. It's like you said "Okay you can have the bed...Wait, wait! You can't take my bed, where am I supposed to sleep?' lol you should have had that figured out when you told her she could have the bed.

No, you aren't wrong for changing the locks on YOUR apartment, but it seems like you haven't quite grasped that it's not her home anymore and that she's not coming back. I think you need to get a better grip on what's happening. You said it yourself - you see it as her being on vacation. People come back from vacations. They don't come back from divorces.

â™¥The Mrs.â™¥

Why does she have to pay rent if she doesnt live there?

Possessions will get sorted out in court.

Legally you could probably charge her with theft.

J. Jinx

Your soon to be ex is doing andrew....lol

xbx

haha aww . its a shame .. sorry aout the divorce

and no haha thats fair enough really its your place now

simonsgirl10

No, it is not wrong. Sue her for the bed and the money she owes you. No judge would deny it.

sixft205lb

I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED.

All separations have to bilateral and as a contract was used to marry, a contract has to be used to disolve the marriage too. But when every thing else fails, try to be fair. Are you wrong for changing the locks? No. She moved out and she is not paying rent.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: