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singledad
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no, you'll know when your ready and presently it sounds as though you don't feel ready |
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Gator
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Please wait to get married. You'll be amazed at the changes you go through as you move toward true adulthood, not just "legal" adulthood. As much as you think you've matured, you're still in the process. You won't realize how much until you're on the other side looking back. |
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coolness4sho
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No way, you still have goals you want to achieve and things you want to get done. Being married now would stop you from doing any/all of that stuff. I waited until I was 27 to get married. Even though you guys have been together for 5 years almost, you still have a career to establish, if he loves you as much as he says he does, he can definitely wait until you finish with school and get started so you guys aren't struggling. |
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MichaelL4000
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Do not get married! If you are having doubts then dont get married! It would be crazy to. If I were you, I would feel the same way! Why struggle for years when you can just delay getting married for a few more years. And even though yall made it all four years of high school and a year as freshmen, who is to say you or him wont change into a different person. I know college has changed me a lot and I have only been in college for one semester. I feel that I will have changed a lot from the time I enter college and the time I will graduate college. |
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domesticgoddess
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You are a very wise young woman. Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted, nor those trying to get their careers in order. Work on an education first. It's nearly impossible to go after the degrees you've mentioned after you get married.
If he loves you, he can wait until HE has a career of his own as well. What's the rush? |
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Meryl
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To answer your question in bold--absolutely not.
I don't need to read the rest to answer. |
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quietgirl84
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Marriage is a very big step and i know how you feel because you both love each other and have been together for so long. Being married does mean that alot of changes will accure you will have to depend on one another to be stable. I think that you should really try to get stable in your career and wait a little while longer. If he really loves you and is the one for you he will respect that. Alot of people take marriage as a joke, but its serious buisness its alot more than being boyfriend and girlfriend, you are offically commited to one another intill death do you part. Just think about it. |
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dottidal
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True love can wait. You are not wrong for wanting to persue your career rather than get married at 19 - I'd call that right! And smart. There is no reason to be married now. When you've finished school, if you still want to be together you can do that. And you've been together since you were a child so really only one of those 5 years counts as an adult, and you still have so much growing, learning, and maturing to do. Enjoy life, go out there and experience things! You have the rest of your life to spend together, but you won't get these few special years in your early 20s back. If he loves you, he will only want the best for you. |
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Shelly
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DONT get married! Not just yet! I've been in a relationship with my man since i was 18,i'm 32 now. I chose not to be married because i always told myself that i would only marry once in my life, i dont wanna be a statistic. We have a good life, great children, but still not married. And now, after almost 14 years, i want something new,i'm not saying i'm gonna run out and find it, but i'm just saying i'm glad i chose not to marry. |
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tenbadthings
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People change alot between 19 and their late 20's. A smart person would definitely wait. If it is love, it will still be there.
That said the marriage contract hurts the guy worse than the woman in case of divorce. So all you have to loose as a woman is a relationship that is harder to leave if it goes south.
And yet agian, it would be nice to only marry when you are 100%. |
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Lolitta
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You are not wrong to not want to get married at 19. That is a very young age and you have a lot of living to do. But the most important thing is that you are not sure, a person should never get married unless they are 100% sure that is what they want to do. You guys don't have to break up just because you don't get married. Try to continue your relationship as it is |
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latino and proud
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your still young and it doesn´t matter how old you are, if you don´t want to get married then no one should force you into it. It´s your life.But one day mommy and daddy won´t help you so being scared isn´t gonna do much good. Support is one thing , dependency is another |
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georgiahurricane
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You are not wrong for not wanting to get married. Marriage is a really difficult challenge. It is rewarding, but it takes two totally committed people to make it work. Right now is the time of your life when you should be discovering yourself, who you really are and what you want out of life. If you get married, these doubts and fears will not go away, they will be buried only to resurface later on down the road. Sure he will be sad, but if he understands and loves you, this will merely be a stepping stone towards your future together. Do what you need to do now. Study pre-med, become a paramedic and do whatever else you need to do to become who you are supposed to be. He should do the same. If you grow with each other then marriage will be a natural progression. However, you may find that you grow different from each other as you take on lifes challenges and that's something you want to know before you get married, not after. So take some time. Enjoy being 19 and having the protective wing of Mom and Dad. You still have the rest of your life to live, you don't have to press the fast-forward button. |
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Al B
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Explain to him that the divorce rate among Doctors and Lawyers who marry while still in school is among the highest there is. If he is also studying medicine, you both will change after graduation and will have to deal with that and then if you both still feel the same way, the marriage will have a better chance of lasting and be better for you both. |
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peace
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you will grow up and become more mature from time to time. dont get marry just because you feel it's obligation and the time period. Take your time and be honest with him and yourself. Say you want to wait, he will wait. You are too young to get marry. When you will turn 22, you will feel a completly different person. |
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rachel m
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well i think that you are being practical, marriage is hard work and both you and your mate's whole heart has to be in it , to make it work ,in my opinion i think that you should finish school do whatever needs to be done ,then decide if you want to get married. because if you guys are totally in love with each other and you have already made so far ,then your love could last until you feel more comfortable about getting married , and good luck |
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yocum1219
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That's a rough question. If you decide to "give in" and go ahead, you risk one day resenting him for not living out your dreams. You need to make sure BOTH of you are ready. Getting engaged at 19 isn't that young. Plan on the wedding being AFTER you have your degrees. That way the commitment is there, and you've declared to the world that you DO want to be with him. If he understands, then that's wonderful!! Begin able to start a marriage with both of you on solid career ground makes it a LOT easier. Take each step slowly. Once you DO get married, enjoy being a couple before you have kids. Your best bet is pre-marriage counseling, from a minister or therapist. There are also a number of books out there that give you guidlines for being sure that you agree on basics before you take that final step. I apologize for not being able to remember the one my mom gave me....it's been awhile! Good luck! God Bless! |
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MAL GAL
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Okay hun, I got married when I was 19 and I am not by any means saying this will happen to you but this is what happened...I did love him very much and i married him well, here I am now 21 and completely unhappy I haven't even been married two years yet. I think it is good that you want to go to school and not get married and If he loves you he'll see it as the same. What is his rush for wanting to get marrried anyway. Is he afraid he will lose you? just assure him he won't and tell him you want to save up until you have enough money to have a big wedding and be stable and waiting to get married is what you think would be best. It is really hard to work and go to school and if you just explain what you wrote up there to him, he should understand. It may take him a few days but he will come around |
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carebear_destroyer
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your totaly right. i wish more people would still see it your way |
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funky_gurl49
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{the ♥ are represented as O's}♥♥♥...well this is a hard ♥ne to begin with y♥u s♥und as if you are n♥t ready y♥u still want t♥ be m♥mmy and daddy's little girl y♥ur b♥yfriend sh♥uld understand that y♥u are n♥t ready t♥ step up t♥ the next level yet... if he l♥ves y♥u he will respect y♥ur decision d♥nt rush it sweetie when the time c♥mes it will c♥me and y♥u will be extremely happy d♥nt push it h♥pe y♥u can get thr♥ugh this!!!:-}♥♥♥
----->Best of wishes♥♥♥♥!!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥Kim♥♥♥♥♥♥<---------- |
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Angel
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This guy that you are with sounds great. You have been together for a long time. It sounds like to me that you found a winner!! If I were you I would not let this one go. It might be hard to work on a career while being married, but I know you can do it. I am sure the guy that has supported you emotionally for the past four almost 5 years wont let you quit pursuing your goals and dreams. It might be tough but I am sure you and him will make a good team.
Good Luck!!!!!! |
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luvlisteningtomusic
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You can tell him how much you love him and how you charrish your relationship however you need to think about your career first before making that move. Tell him that you feel the relationship is strong and you like it the way that it is now. Tell him he can either wait until you are done with your schooling or he can move on. You are still so very young and there is so many men out there in this world do not settle for the first guy that comes into your life. |
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glduke2003
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nope....but if your not ready then wait... |
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Golfr
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I don't think you are wrong. I am 18 and me and my bf have been together since sophmore year of high school and we want to get married one day but not until both of us can financially support ourselves and both have our educations done. We are way too young to get married and we know that so the only sensible thing to do is continue our educations and just keep loving each other like we already do. If it's meant to be it will happen. Best of luck with school and with your guy! :o) |
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Charlotta G
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You do what you want to do !
Be well ! |
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Barbara
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No you are not wrong for wanting to wait. That is a serious commitment to make to someone. Being married is a 24 hour job and it takes a lot of effort to make it work. Just because you love him and have been together for a long time, doesn't mean after you get married everything gets better. It will be the start of the two of you really getting to know each other when you live together. Don't stop dating each other, just wait until you are both out of school and don't have the extra stress on you. Also, you should take in consideration that if you two do marry right now, your parents will stop helping you financially, that means you will have to get a job to continue to pay the extremely HIGH tuition and living expenses. The both of you should do a Pro and Con sheet separately, come together and compare the sheets, then decide from that sheet which way to go. Be very honest. |
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ma'ma'RIN
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your not wrong at all,but most of my family members and friends that got married at your age.it kinda went down hill a year or two.i say first continue
your schooling.when you know that your almost done with that then you should see how everything is.but while schooling you guys should start living with each other.i say if you survive all of that then you can survive marriage.
hope all goes well with the two of you.good luck. |
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coolkatt
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Definitely Not! You have a good head on your shoulders and sound very mature. If you marry him now, you will eventually resent him because you will have a very hard time working and trying to achieve all you need to continue your career. It's a lot of hard work and studying. If it's too hard, you may need to make a choice, work or school, being married, you would have to choose work because there will be bills. Then you may even get pregnant and have to stop work and school. There is a lot to think about, so I say NO! Stay in college, especially since you already spoke to him and he understands. |
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