Am I wrong for wanting to be married?

Amber H

My husband and I had our first before we were married so don't let anyone make you feel bad about that. You need to sit him down and tell him you do not deserve to be treated as an unwed mother. When she starts school people are going to think that you are no longer or have never been with the father due to the fact that you have 2 last names. He needs to get on the ball or he won't have to worry about having a family since he apparently doesn't want one anyway!

kitkat

Children before marriage, why do people do this??? Stop giving him the milk for free and if he still loves you he will propose.

Jane Marple

You've wasted your last good card. You should have waited to have a baby and tell him if he wanted a family you'll have to be married. You trusted him enough to make a baby with outside of marriage so you should be able to trust him enough to spend your life with him without a marriage.

maynard

well i ask myself the same question, but i have no kids no gf, im 19. Well you have been together for longer than most relationships. Marriage does change alot of things in my own opinion as i hear and see. Understand you want the last name but marriage really is just paper and a ring. Be completely sure about this man , as great as he seems and you two have a kid which matters to most families. Don't make the same mistake as most people do cause divorcing is very common now. Also your still young and things may turn up so good luck!

Raen

It's not wrong to want to get married. Talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Marriage does change for some people, but for others it only brings them closer. Sounds to me like you've already started living together, and if that's the case, then marriage should be a natural step upward in your relationship. The thing about marriage that changes some people is that they don't get together beforehand. People live differently, and when 2 people start living together, they find out about little habits or differences that clash. And that's what leads to a bad marriage. But if you have lived with him for a while and know that the lifestyle is good for the both of you, then marriage is nothing more than a name-change, and a state of legally being united. So talk to him about it before you do anything and the best of luck to you and your baby.

Faith

Marriage is about more than having the same last name. I'm assuming that you and your boyfriend are living together. Do some research about cohabitation (living together without commitment). Cohabitation can cause a lot of problems in a relationship.

The standards and expectations have already been set in your relationship. It can be difficult to change the standards because you've already been living like a married couple. It's not wrong to want to be married. People can have a lasting marriage if they've been living together. Some things may be harder because you've done things in the wrong order.

EDIT: You can change your last name to whatever you want (without marriage). It's rather strange to change your last name and not be his wife. You'll still be referred to as his girlfriend even if you have the same last name. A last name doesn't equal a commitment.

stupendous

So you met this guy when you were 15, presumably have never dated anyone else, and know he is the one for you.

Statistics say otherwise, but there is no 100% guarantee in any part of life. The one thing that marriage does change is that it makes you a legally united couple. Living together, in some states, constitutes common law marriage, and you might want to find out your own state's laws. Best of luck to you.

â™¥SEVENâ™¥

You want to get married to have the same last names as your daughter and boyfriend?

Then again, maybe you shouldn't.
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Either way dear, you seem to want to get married just because you have a child with this man. Now, you figure that you guys will look even more like a family if you all have the same last name.
You gave him the goods before marriage. Good luck with getting him to pay. Dont get mad at him because unless you were raped, it was also your decision.

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