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Am I wrong for wanting to have an affair as my wife has had two and now we just live together like friends?
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Am I wrong for wanting to have an affair as my wife has had two and now we just live together like friends?

I still love my wife but not in a physical way. I think she is seeing someone now.


    




tessa
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dude why dont you just get a divorce?


Susie Q
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Why are you still together?! Why would you want to be with someone who cheats on you? If you split up you wouldn't have to worry about whether wanting to have an affair would be wrong or not.


Carol B
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If you have kids, then you are definately wrong. If you want to see someone else, then make a complete break, take some time off and then introduce a new person in your life and the lives of your children especially if your kids opinion matters to you. If you don't make a complete break then the kids will see the new person as what broke the relationship and they will NEVER accept this new person.


mikydotcom
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Possibly two or three ways you could sort this out eddie. 1, counselling together--2, you could both agree that you could have an 'open' marriage--3, OR...you could be the 'bigger' man here, and say 'enough is quite enough--we are either together for the long haul, or not...there IS no in-between'. Counselling COULD help you both, but she has cheated on you before, so that may not be an option as she could do it again---an 'open' marriage SOMETIMES works, but SOMETIMES it doesn't---so realistically, the best idea would be to find out where you stand with her in the longer term...i would say though that you must be completely sure of your facts before any action. Hope i've helped.


Lisa
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It's natural to desire other people and if your wife has had two affairs it's also natural to feel the right to have one. I don't think badly of people having affairs when a couple agrees to that and when you're sincere with others as well, avoiding suffering. in this case, if you're honest with the other person, you could try, if you feel so.


Fanshawe
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Have an affair. Does it matter? Get stuck in mate, fill your boots! You're 2-0 down.


chicago floater
i think you should both become swingers. this way you both get to keep your marriage and your cheating ways


Superfudge
Why don't you just get a divorce, and then it wouldn't be called "having an affair", it would just be called "having a relationship".


Mark
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I would get out of there. I still love my dog but if he shits on the carpet I'll rub his nose in it.
Be the better person.


david w
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why r u still together? tell ur wife ur leaving and get rid of the drama consuming ur life. u need to b fair to urself and forget ur selfish wife.


helowe06
Well, that just doesn't make sense....if you are just living as friends then why would you consider it an affair? If you both are on the same page and see your relationship as a friendship then how could you think it would be an affair? If you are under the impression she is seeing someone else and you want to do the same why don't you talk to her? Obviously, you two have talked at some point about her affairs and decided to stay together for what whatever reasons, so I do not see where it would be anymore difficult to discuss these issues.


Anne M
In your case I don't think it's quite as bad as cheating on a spouse who is faithful to you, but it is still violating your promises and making a mockery of your marriage vows. If the two of you don't want to be married anymore, why not get a divorce? If you don't do that, then there must be some reason why you prefer to stay married. And if you prefer to stay married, I think you should honor your vows and try to have a marital relationship. Not to mention how confusing and difficult this whole strange scenario would be for the person you have the affair with. Can she expect a future with you, or will she always be "the mistress" to a marriage you don't even value anymore?

I just think it makes sense to decide what you want and act on it, one way or the other, either marriage or divorce but not "in-between."


New Mee
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Come on go for it and ask if she agrees tooo duuhhhhh


Tracy
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It's not wrong to be wanting to have an affair. I just don't think you should if you are still married. If she is seeing someone else, maybe it's time to end the marriage. Then you can move on and find someone for yourself. I don't think sleeping with someone else is going to make you feel better.


Daisy Artichoke
No, I don't think you're wrong. Maybe your marriage vows would dictate otherwise, but things change over time, no matter how romantic and idealistic we all believe we are. You do what you think is best, and good luck.


pfloydie
you sound like you are in the same situation as my boyfriend was 2 years ago -- he got the divorce we are living together happy as ever -- he has NEVER been happier
get the divorce and go with the flow
it's over and done with - you have both moved on - while it's not WRONG WRONG -- you should go through with the divorce and make it "kosher"


perrygreenwich
Try being honest. If you can't communicate then you will never know!


Mr. Ed
Get couples counseling and if it doesn't work out move on.


Kitty Glitter Paws
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Ask her to leave before you move on.Two wrongs dont make a right


American Beauty
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It is wrong that you two are living in a loveless marriage, and when I say loveless I mean physically too. I suggest (sadly) divorce because it sounds like you two are not quite familiar with the concept of commitment..


LISA T
one question for you Why you still with your wife? i thought people got married to spend the rest of their lives with each other and to be commited to each other, why dont you both go your own ways maybe then you both might have a chance of being happy!!!


michael t
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Divorce is the easy way out , if you truly love her as you say you do , than seek marriage counseling, or go to the pastor, but divorce any one can do that..
i think that 2 wrongs don't make a right, and to show her that you love her try changing what ever it was that drove her away in the first place .
if you think she has someone else try asking her. the straight up approach always works for me..


Marianne T
You need to get a divorce. She is not married to you but you are married to her. Get out of this before she gets pregnant. You may love her but you deserve more in a marriage than a cheater that likes for you to pay her expenses while she cheats. Go talk to a lawyer and get some advice for your rights in your state. You should come home to a wife that is happy to see you and loves you.


Sir Richard
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If you don't want divorce, have an agreement (verbal or writing) that it is ok. Then you are fit to go.


chicknbootsk
2 wrongs dont make a right, why stoop to her level. divorce on adultery grounds and come out with your head held high.


Rachael H
the best way forward is you both sit down an talk, going your own seperate ways is better, and moving on after that


ddalg
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well i
think its wrong
but if you guys are friends then i guess its ok


Tabitha T
You need to pack your things and leave. If you start an affair then you aren't being good to you or the woman you start seeing. Don't begin a new relationship in the web of lies that you have been living in get out and move on with your life.


Rock_chickie_rock
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i secound that


coconaut
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don't d anything you may regret and if she is seeing some one else get out before its to late ask her about it and if shes lien leave and find someone else





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