Am i right or wrong about my wife?

Oishii.Hina

I'm sure there are two sides to this story and perhaps you are just venting about her, but there has got to be a reason why she is doing what she is doing.

Based on what you said things are divided like this....

You=
Cook
Clean
Welding

Her=
Goes to a friend's house so you can nap in peace
Takes care of the kids

You do a great portion of the work, but I think taking care of kids can be more tasking depending on the children's ages (lower ages = higher energy needed). Either way the rearing of your children should be equal for a healthy environment for your children (good relationships). By not having good relationships with your children you put them at risk for many things later in life (this is just based on statistics, but it is not the case for all children).

Perhaps she really feels like she is providing an equal contribution here, so if you feel like the division of work in the family is uneven you need to let her know. I would try to avoid complaining, like how you are basically doing here. You should start the conversation by asking if she thinks the work around the house is even, and if you disagree then let her know how you feel in a nice way.

You may think that your wife is lazy, but perhaps she thinks you are lazy for taking such long naps and not helping with the kids. Based off what she sees she may think that, but if you feel stressed out and tired that is something you should be addressing with her.

Lack of understanding is a leading problem with couples, but surprisingly it is usually caused when the couple doesn't share what they are going through. It seems like common sense, but a lot of couples miss this when they are upset with each other. Women tend to be very emotionally connected (a lot more than men tend to be) therefore this will be easy for you to address if you just try to help her understand how you feel.

SWEETIE PIE

Your calling your wife lazy when your the one who's taking 4 hour naps in the middle of the day just from going to school? Wow...

Chelsey the Deer Hunter =)

depends what hours you are taking a nap... life doesn't stop because you are tired. sorry bud. kids will be kids and make noise.

K o

it is wrong mate. why do you need a nap?? cant you wait for bedtime?? she would prob love even just a small nap and 20 minutes to herself! trust me motherhood is alot harder then studying!! you should spend that time with your family!!

Monty

It is not reasonable that she and the kids have to leave the house so that you can nap.It is their house too.

How about napping after the kids are put to bed?

Nate

your both wrong to not be communicating to each other proberly so you don't fight about dumb **** like sleeping

that one guy

her friends and her
probably talk about how lucky she is to have a guy that works so hard

Ashley

Going to school is just NOT that exhausting. I agree that it's nice to have a nap sometimes, but you're trying to pull half a nights worth of sleep in what you call a nap. Maybe you should try changing your schedule around and repositioning the responsibilities. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works full time doing construction. His job starts at 6 am. This is how we do it. He gets up and goes to work. While he's a work, I sleep until the kids get up. I care for the kids throughout the day, making sure they get a nap so they're not cranky when dad gets home. When he get's home at 4 pm he takes a shower, sometimes taking 1 or both of the kids with him (ages 2 and 10 mos). While he's doing that I'm getting some of the housework done that I'm not able to do when I'm caring for both of the children. Then he plays with the kids or watches a movie with them while I get dinner together or he makes dinner if we have something quick and easy to make (like pizza). We work together to get the kids settled with their dinner and we all eat at the same time. After dinner we'll watch movies or play video games or play with the kids, then around 9 pm we start getting them ready for bed. We'll lounge around on the bed for a while, then he takes the kids and they go to bed at 10pm. After they go to bed I muddle around the house, picking up toys, making his lunch, washing dishes, etc. Finally I go to bed and everything start over the next day. My point is... if my husband can work 9 hours on a construction site and still come home and care for his kids, you can too. If you go to bed at a decent hour every night you won't need a 4 hour nap when you get home. If she is going to stay home with the kids and not have a job then it is her responsibility to make sure everything is running smoothly at home. If she does her job and you do yours, you two would get a long just fine.

sweet_shy_schoolgirl

the wife has to take care of the job in the house before going to her friends
the man should be able to provide the wife by getting a decent job

Jennifer L.

Sounds like you are both doing your fair share. She helps with the kids, you cook and clean. Plus you get the bonus that she'll leave and make the house completely quiet for your naps-sounds like a sweet deal :)

your wife is not lazy just because you cook and clean. taking care of the kids is 10x as hard as the cooking and cleaning, promise.

loves

you are right. i think that you should interact with your kids but it is ok that you think she is lazy. She should clean up the messes that she makes after she makes them.

"she can at least wash the dishes if i cook."

s.i.l.l.y. s.a.r.a.h

Sounds like you are trying very hard and her not hard enough

Coleen M

no because you do your responsibilities and there is nothing wrong in studying to get a good job for your family. there's nothing wrong to take a 4 hour nap, you are tired.

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