Any suggestions anyone?

My husband and I are getting a divorce whenever I sign the papers. But it is so incredibly sad. He was the only real person who understands me and accepted me and my children with disabilities. It is over now but a part of me still wants to believe that later in life we will have a shot. Just two weeks ago we were talking about going to Paris after he finishes law school and I started teaching him French and he taught me about the French Revolution etc etc..now I just talk to my kids! I'm so lonely and all I wanna do is call him and just to talk or hear him do anything. Today he slipped and said he loves me I ALMOST got happy. It is just really depressing and I don't know what to do now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the whole divorce process? I've tried taking up knitting. Even going back to work doesn't help and I LOVE doing nails. Any kind of divorce advice would help me out so much because all I knew how to be and do in these short 14 months was be a mom and a wife. Any suggestions? Thank you so much.
Additional Details
We are divorcing because we want two different things now. He is 30 wanting law school and I am 34 wanting a bigger family (which I just found out I am pregnant). Plus i have a daughter who is about to have life changing surgery at 7 yrs old. He is going to law school in another state because he couldn't get in here. I don't think either of us know why we are getting divorced. Timing I guess.

We were suppose to go last week but it just didn't happen and it was already too late for counseling. It's sad because we were really great together. Our beliefs and our thoughts on family. I saw him today and I just wanted to hold on to him and he just kept staring at me like he won't see me again. It was so freakin sad. I just wanna shake him and tell him to look! Listen! We're good! All I have is questions..I may have to go to counseling for this. We were only married 14 months. Valentine's Day last year. :(

Jessica J

Tell him everything you just told us. Why get a divorce if you really think that it could work. It sounds like he may feel the same way. At this point it can't hurt much more to try.

MyRhythmIsAZN

Fight for the marriage. Difficulties of all levels happen its suppose to test your marriage. No marriage should really be broken if you first make that decision on your wedding day. Go to a marriage counselor. Try to make things work.

john v

I would sit down with him and have a good talk.If he says he loves you, and you have feelings i don,t understand your problem.Why are you getting a dvoice.

John Archer

Try a marriage counselor.

Crunchy Mama

So why are you guys getting a divorce?

Alex P

yes is sad, but what are his reasons you dont say. all i know is that if he still love you but wants you away doesnt make much sense, obviously you love him and you know what they say about fighting for love, but you are the only one that knows for real if its the right thing to do or just let him go. And yes i believe get busy is the best way to get over any situation, you will need time, but it will pass, and hopefully you will find soemone else even if this is not what you want now. Or maybe he will come back, divorce sometimes (sounds easy but is not i know) as well as marriage is only a paper, what really is happening is what matters, and if you being legally divorced come back together is just as good as being still married. Focus on your kids who are the ones that really need you. Good luck

apoorapothecary

Its tough. In terms of stress, a divorce ranks up there with death, so you have to prepare yourself for the long-term impact of the loss of the relationship, the change in affection, the change in your status - the whole shebang.

You seem to be heading in the right direction, and looking to involving yourself in new things - its a very healthy thing to do, to channel your stress.

My suggestion would be this:

First, above all things; make sure you eat healthy, get enough sleep, and take good care of the kids. I know it sounds simplistic, but you will not believe how easy it is to lose your health over things like this. If you aren't exercising regularly, this is a good time to get into a routine.

Second, involve yourself in social stuff with friends. If you're taking up knitting, look into local clubs or groups that get together. Nothing's better than regular outside contact. And it'll get you talking to people other than the kids.

And third, do your best to keep things positive with your soon-to-be-ex. Just because the relationship failed doesn't mean a good friendship can't be built out of it (or at least remaining on friendly terms). Its easy to hate, and difficult to remember the good things, as divorce develops. And if you're thinking a second chance is a possibility, it'll only come around if you two are on great terms. Don't wait for it to come around, though, but don't let the friendship you had get lost with the divorce papers.

Good luck to you - things do get better.

Douglas B

Any break up is hard. There are no easy ways to get around it. It does get easier, one day at a time until one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. That is when you are ready to move on.

cassmac

He sound like he doesn't know what he wants , If you divorce it is only a piece of paper so if you are still in a good friendship you may never know what can happen down the track it is hard and lonely you have to find some friends to be with from time to time go out if you can even if it is a group where you can take the children with you as you are not the only one to feel so sad and lonely,

Anna

If you are sure this is what you want to do (get a divorce) then go ahead and do it.... but if you're having second thoughts and your instincts are telling you otherwise, follow them!! The two of you should sit down and have a serious disgussion on what needs to be done, whether you should really split or not because if there is any hope in the relationship then you should try to go with it and make it work because marriage is so important. (especially with children)!! Try getting a marriage councelor to help you two sort out your problems. If the decision if final and you are splitting then I would suggest spending time with the other people in your life (family, friends..) If always feels good to reconnect with people you love after losing someone else you loved.

happydog

Sounds like you are just a step of the stairway to the top. If you would look at the whole situation you may have just been a place for him to hang his hat. If he is about to get his degree he is leaving to prepare for greener pastures.

Iam in the playpen with sweet mildred

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