Anyone been married 10+ years?

april2270

17 years and still lovin him more and more. Remember to do the little silly stuff. A note here, waiting behind the door and tackling him there and a good game of tag are a few things to start with.( wrestling is great too.) Having fun keeps the relationship going. Don't stop.. The grass really isn't greener on the other side. Be happy with what you have, and keep making it better. Good luck.

c p

Answer to your question is yes over 19 years. But that really isn't the question or problem that your having. You just need to examine what has changed and why do you feel this way. Really need to sit down with spouse and discuss these feelings. Every relationship has its ups and downs in addition to get into a rut. The key is to find way out of the rut and this is where a good marriage will shine because between the two of you a solution can be found.

mimegamy

Getting married is alot of fun. Staying married takes alot of hard work.

MKC

33 1/2 years today. We are still very much in love. It takes work, but it is worth it.

scott_v1963

What your feeling is normal, IMHO!

Married almost 13 years. Some days all I can think about is how good i have it, how lucky I am and all that muck...

...other days I'm wondering about that fine grass over the neighbors fence...

....kids and commitment and one day at a time as you go through the downs.

Chat me up. I'm always willing to encourage and exchange ideas on perking up boring marriages.

good question!

kurts99ford

10 now 11 this fall! I love her more now than the day we married! I can't wait to get home every day and when I have free time I spend it with her! I don't need reasons to stay I WANT TO and can't imagine being anywhere else than with my wife!

A R

hit 20 a few yrs ago and it was just like the first year...GREAT!

Kristy s

Going on 13 years married and still head over heels in love. I remind myself everyday why I fell in love with him and find new things to adore. Maybe you can try having actual dates again or doing some new activities together. You might be in a rut.

bartendmist

I have been been married to my husband for 7 years, but together for 16.
I can relate to the feeling of finding reasons to stay! So your not crazy! There are days we can not stand each other! LOL
I'm not positive but I think sometimes we both feel like we are the only one in the world that will put up with the other!!
We love each other most days and those days are pretty good! I think that is true for almost every married couple!!
P.S. did I mention this is my second marriage?

SwandaG

This July I'll have been married to my husband for 9 years, but in total, we've been together for 15...since I was 16 years old. In the past, I was in the same place you are now, having to look for reasons to stay..and not normally coming up with many! Lately, I don't know what it is..but we've seemed to start treating each other the way we used to when we were younger...like our relationship is being taken back. I can honestly say that I love him more now, than I did in the beginning. We've got so much history, we know each other better than any other person in the world possibly could..and I love that!

You need to try thinking about the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. Try to take yourself back to that point in your life. It's exactly what I did..and he started responding to it! All of a sudden we are closer now than we've been in a long, long time..and I am so grateful for it. If you want to be with your husband, then stay, and try. I did, and we're both glad for it....I'm glad for us, and for the sake our two children!

Elphin B

We have been married 43 years. We still love each other but in totally different ways than we did 43 years ago.

You did not ask for any advice so I won't give any. I will say that one of the many reasons we have stayed together is that we allowed each other to grow spiritually, emotionally and intellectually.

I have never been a big proponent of marital counseling although we did try it briefly. But if you are feeling alone perhaps you need to talk this over with someone. Just a hint. Not advice.

jlcjills

It will be 25 years tomorrow, all good, far from it. Finally got him to agree to go to counseling for some of the issues we have been dealing with. I am very hopeful. But even though we are dealing with other issues now, I don't feel like we are two people together because that's all we know.
I do remember at about the 10 year mark that happening, and I am assuming their are children at this point. You two have drifted away. When my husband and I were at that point we use to date night once a month. Depending on finances maybe even stay over night somewhere. No talking about the kids, jobs nothing, just us and what was important to us. It definitely helped us reconnect.
Remember marriage is work, and a good marriage is a lot of work, but so worth it.

Just Life, Trying To Live It.

My wife and I have been together for 19 years. Married for 10. Marriage is now walk in the park and it takes work and time and energy. If you love someone, and that person chooses to love you, then you are never alone. I would begin to communicate how your feeling. It is not going to be easy to express how you feel, but by letting your partner know your feelings, you both find something about each other. For whatever reason, your needs are not being met and you need to express those needs and compromise on what each of you want out of your marriage.

You have to want to stay, finding the reasons is just your way of dealing with needs that are not being met. Ask yourself, what do you want from the marriage, what are your needs that will keep you happy. Talk with your partner, then talk some more.

Communication is key and lack of it will destroy you, then your marriage. If you both openly discuss what are the issues and challenge in the marriage, you may find that you both have just changed that much in the 10 years, and your needs in the relationship are way too different.

Find that common ground if you really want your marriage to last. Ask the question, Do you want to fix your marriage?

Lydia

We've been married almost 18 years. I guess I'm learning more and more how lucky we are, that we made a good choice in choosing one another!
We are totally happily married, though of course we've been through hard times as everyone does - but we've always come out on the other end stronger for it. Our love has deepened and grown over the years, and we still have a lot of fun and lust in our marriage! We have a 15 year old son, and together we make a wonderful family!

katdandawn

I've been married 12 years.i feel the same way sometimes.but all i do is talk to my husband.we tend to get wrapped up in our things and neglect each other.it just takes a kick in the pants every now and then.have you talked to your husband?he can't help fix it,if he doesn't know you feel that way.

Kier22_2

I've been with my Partner for 11 Years & we just got married 8 months ago.

Tom S

I had to get myself a couple of girlfriends before i trully understood how much I love my wife..... this after dating her for 7 years then married almost 9 years...

I always thought being single and free again, was the way to go.... but now I know that's not for me... so now I take my wife out on weekends, and just try to enjoy life everyday.

If you get yourself a boyfriend, it will be great in the beggining, but then you will fall into the exact same situation you are in now, cuase it's not only the person you are with, it is also you who is bringing down the relation ship. Try to take the initiative, and plan dates out together again,,, go out and have fun!

timo_10143

Been together 18 years and still in love.

racer 51

it's very common to feel this way after being married these many years. sounds like as you've gotten older, perhaps you've lost touch with one another. kind of grown apart or in different directions or have just gotten comfortable with one another. good news, you can get it back. it just takes a little thought and willingness. start doing things together again.do new things together. talk about your life and what you both want out of it. you will probably find that many of the things you're thinking, he's thinking to. get to know each other again before you do anything else.
btw, i've been married 23 yrs,together 27. i went through what you're going through now at about the same time. it took a conscious effort to find the love we once had. once we put forth that effort, things fell into place. good luck

giveu2tictacs

Been married 11 years. together for 12. We are still very happy and love each other.

It's been 26+ years for us, soon to be 27. Yes, sometimes it can feel that way, because things don't stay the same. That doesn't mean it's not as important, just that things settle into a routine.

sapahaw

Yes, 12 years. Things sometimes get boring as they did with us. So we talked about it and decided to spice it up a bit. IM me if you want to know how we did it. I don't like this public forum. I am Angela, married almost 13 years and loving it more and more.......ask me how.....

Orlando M

We have been married for thirty two years and up to now
we still enjoy being together. Marriage is a two way traffic
affair. It is not enough that a man provides for the family,he
must also act as the conduit that will bind the family. And the
woman must see to it that communication between husband
and wife is always present because it serves as the link to
better know what problems need attention and not be left
unattended. Try to initiate changes in your daily routine and
do not sulk in the corner, communicate with your partner and
you'll find that the feeling of being alone will vanish and a more vibrant relationship will ensue.

kyle w

Been married for a little over 11 years and together for over 14. Everyday has been hell on earth. "Just kidding" the first seven I've always heard are the hardest. For me that was true, on into year 10. Last year we almost split, but we sat down andd asked each other if it was what we wanted. We also asked eachother what was missing from the other that we once had. We realize than, that was it. We never really sat down and talked. Talking about everything, or anything, but mostly about each other. We had taken for granted how the other had felt. we also had taken for granted that we loved each other, and the other had known it. We were so busy we almost lost each other in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
So now, everyday as soon as I get home, I give her a hug, and ask how her day was. I shut up and listen as I hold her. I may ask for additional detail, but that's it. When I get home, rather than the hateful overtone in her voice because of a hard day, she asks if I'd like a glass of tea, or something.

We also found a couple of small monkey figurines. One a male, and the other a female. They sit on the fireplace mantle. When one of us are upset at the other we'll turn our monkey facing the wall. When we see the others monkey, turned around than that person will aproach the other "kindly". This has worked wonders. Sounds stupid, but it has worked for us.
It has been great for our relationship, and I think we get along better now than when we first met.

I39

You are just going through a down time in your marriage. Happens to everyone. It is time to renew your feelings for each other and get back to feeling excited about each other again. Feeling bored with each other is no reason to leave a marriage. It just means you need to shake things up a bit and get back on track. You still love each other, just not in a hot, wildfire kind of way at the moment. Hang in there and those feelings will come back around, if you chose to make it happen. Good luck.

scruffycat

You probably would do well to get some marriage counseling.

But, to answer your question... my parents have been married for almost 48 years and they still love each other.

My sis and her husband have been married for almost 20 years, and they still love each other.

My cousin and her husband have been married for 33 years, and they are still madly in love with each other.

Each of these couples have had their moments, their explosive moments, and each have had their blase moments... I think what kept them together was (1) their commitment to the marriage, (2) their commitment to each other, and (3) their commitment to not lose their own individualities in the marriage.

Example of No.3, my mom has pursued her interests in her continuing education. In her 70's, she is still taking on more challenges and continues working to this day. My dad has retired, but he still enjoys working and pursuing his interests of motorcycling, hiking, and playing bridge.

My sister and her husband also pursue individual interests and my cousin and her husband do, too.

Each of these couples enjoys their individual interests as well as the things they do together. I also have friends who have been married for 27 years, who are still very much in love.

I hope you will push past these temporary difficulties and pursue a lasting relationship with your hubby. Marriage counseling can be a good thing, too.

attica38

feeling the same way sometimes here

PrincessFreestarr-Sweetness

You poor thing! I was married for 10 years. I got married very young and we were excited in the beginning. Gradually things began to wain. By year ten, I was so lonely I had a frog in my throat all the time. It was so weird. I lived well and had nice things but I was so miserable I didn't even like myself anymore, it seemed. We both ended up having affairs, concurrently. When we found out about each other's "activities" we decided it was time to call it quits.

YOU DO NOT WANT IT TO GET THAT FAR. I know it's cliche but you gotta work at marriage hunny. Go see a counselor. Save you're marriage. It's worth it believe me. Although you may not think you do now, if you end it before you're ready, you'll realize in a very bad way that you actually do love each other.

Good luck!

dave n

If you are feeling alone, then there has to be reasons for it. Taken on a single basis they may not mean anything, but taken together it may mean it is time to move on. 10 years is a long time, but is longer if you feel you are doing it alone.

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