Are you a wife without children?

I was a career woman (public school teacher) who didn't marry until age 40. My husband had a older teenage stepson that needed a mentor. I never considered myself his mom and, because of a few personal issues that the teen had, we weren't very close. It was clear to me that I was placed in his life to get him through his last two years of high school (and that was no easy task). I gave up my career to, in essence, home school him.

Any maternal instinct I might have had was satisfied by my teaching job in the years before I got married. My stepson is 24 now and establishing himself in a career. He's married and about to become a father.

One day many years ago my parents pulled me aside and said, "Don't feel any obligation to provide us with grandchildren. If you have them, fine. If not, that's fine, too." That was key, for the family name was going to die with my brother and me. (He didn't have children either.)

Whatever your lot in life may be, choose to find the good in it an embrace it.

That's what my parents did, and they have been happily married for over 50 years. That mindset is part of the legacy they've left me.

For the six years since my stepson has been on his own, my husband and I have thoroughly enjoyed our lives because it is just OUR lives. I don't regret not ever having given birth. It's not for everyone, and it just wasn't God's plan for my life.

That doesn't mean to settle for less than what you really want in life or to lose your ambition. Learn to be truly content with what you have. Should more come your way, you'll feel doubly blessed.

Paul&Fran

Sure not every couple has to raise children. Some choose there careers or other prefer to travel or just enjoy the peace and quiet.

Sheniquah Trois

i am sure it works for some people

**Ghosty**

Hi - I DO have children, but I know a very close couple who don't.

They are wealthier than me, that's for sure! They are also extremely insular and materially-obsessed. The marriage is successful for sure; clearly they are both resigned to having no children (they are in their late 40's).

What might be awkward for some couples, is if they both INITIALLY decided they wouldn't have children, and then the wife became menopausal or infertile for other reasons, and the husband then decided he DID want children; very nasty stuff, and it does happen. Equally so for the woman; she may change her mind at the last minute, just before the menopause, yet HE still doesn't want kids. Then what? Big trouble, is what.

Clearcut and immovable decisions have to be made early on, I guess.

Good luck.

Mergler

personally, I wouldn't want to get married if i wasn't going to have any children.

Truth Sets You Free

No, I am wife number one, mother of the children
Second wife has no children with the ex husband, they appear very happy without children

YourHotOne

YES!!!!!

Grandma's Wisdom

yes... and the marriage is even stronger because you nor him have anything holding you there... your both there because you want to be

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