Arguement with husband!?

Okay, here goes, my husbands uncle was diagnosed with bone cancer in November of last year, he has been recieving treatment and the cancer center in houston his uncle is from kansas, we live in texas, well we have been going to houston every weekend he was in houston right, well they recently had to comeback to houston for some more test they found out he had about maybe 2 more months to live, we plan on going up there this weekend as well.

well my family had planned on coming down to visit starting the 14 and were going to stay for my kids spring break till about the 19th, well my husband springs this on me well im might take off the kids spring break to go down and see my uncle and this is only if he is in kansas that is, well i got a little upset because my family who i never get to see is coming i say well what am igonna tell them, he said tell them to cancel i got pissed off and hung up on him was i wrong to get mad i know his uncle is dying but i need to see my family too help
Additional Details
Oh and my husband always seems to do this stuff when my family decides to come see me and my kids. Im very upset about this, how should i go about approaching this situation we have already argued today and have not talked since. I just feel that when it comes to my family he acts like they dont matter, now I love his family and would never keep him or my kids away from them, but my husband always says it is just in your head and makes me feel like everything is my fault, im tired of this can someone give me some good advice, i cant go to my sisters because then they will just run there big mouths, and my husband was not liek this before we got married he reminds me of how my dad use to act when i was a little girl but he is not as mean as my father was, thanks and help please!

Why cant you do both? He can see the uncle and you see your family. If you must choose one, though, I would choose the uncle and do the family at a later time.

cute_cuddly_tyger

Explain to your family. They will understand. You should be there for your husband.....his uncle won't be there much longer.

apples

yeah but you can always see your family.. try again in the summer time when the kids have vacation... i think your being a little petty myself.

ted.stryker

His uncle is dying...make other arrangements...and go see him

Hokie_Pokey

Hello! The uncle is DYING. You'll see your family at the next visit but not the uncle because he'll be DEAD.

Your family should be understanding of this as well.

New Mommy

I think with him having a family member dying his time to see if family is running low- I would recommend calling your family and explaining the situation and rescheduling another time for them to come and soon. So you both are able to bond. In his time of dealing with death he reallly needs you to be supportive and your family should understand and be able to come another time?

Dr. D

See his uncle... it would mean a lot to him. Your family will understand.

**k**

Tell your family the situation, they should understand. His uncle is dying, give him a break.

Hello;)

I agree with Jonny B!!! Just let him go see his Uncle... And you stay home with the kids and your parents

Belinda28

You are being totally unreasonable. YOUR uncle (he is yours too now!!!) cannot reschedule his death...your family can reschedule the trip! I would be soooo ticked and really question what type of person I married if I were your husband.

Right Wing Extremist

Well does your family have only 2 months to live? Then I would cancel with them and help your husband through this difficult time. Sorry but you are being selfish

The Naughty Librarian

His uncle is dying and your family is not. You can see your family later.

Marina

My heart goes out to his uncle....I worked in Hospice for a time and I can tell you this....Bone Cancer is THE most painful way to die. You need to sacrifice for your husband and go see his uncle. His uncle will be gone soon, your mother and family will be here after his death. Marriage is sacrifice at times, and you need to be doing that right now.

christinagillick

You should go see his uncle.
Your parents can come this summer or next vacation from school. Tell them the truth, they will understand!!!
His uncle only has TWO months to live, 60 days, thats so short!

marcella l

can your family reschedule their visit? that would be the best answer....i can think of....his uncle isnt going to be around much longer, and thats probably hard on your hubby, i am sure he wants to see him as much as possible...put yourself in his shoes...

aunt_webby

explain to your family , am sure they will understand. you can go see them at a later date. his uncle doesnt have the " time " ?

Let him go see his uncle, your family should understand

my first and only love

take your kids whereever you want. they are yours.

Liia Sophia

Go see his uncle.

Dare2dream

Hey, my advice, is to sit down and talk this out with your husband. The stress of the emotional trauma that he is experiencing right now, may add to his edgy or unfair behavior. It might also be rubbing off on you a little bit. You deserve to see your family, as you have given up numerous weekends to spend time with his. You have been very generous on that part, however, know one knows how long his uncle will be alive and, as far as I know, everyone in your family is healthy. See if you can compromise. Stay this weekend and visit his uncle next weekend. I also think that having your children around such a serious and devastating environment is not healthy. Give them, and yourself a break, and visit with your family. If your husband wishes, he can visit his uncle, and allow you and the kids to stay home. To be quite honest, he might also need a bit of a break. I hope that I helped!

Petunia

Just tell him to go see his Uncle and you see your Family... His Uncle will understand that... Hey! There's enough time for Family, just make it.

Jonny B

For this one weekend, your husband can go by himself to see his uncle. From the closeness of his family the uncle will understand that you must keep ALL family bonds strong.

...or you can have your family watch the kids while you go with your husband to see the uncle.

Are the people coming to see you and your children dying? His uncle is and he can not get him back once he's gone. I would think that you would be an understanding wife, and do what is right by him. However; I am not sure that your children need to see someone who is staring death in the face, it appears that his illness has been going on a long time, so perhaps you two could agree to disagree on what is right, he can go to his uncles and you stay there with your family while he's gone. Its not like you can not be apart for a short time.

After all, you do love this man. It sounds like you are irritated with the sacrifices you've had to make over the ill uncle. So you need to work on that. You can not have resentment over things that others can not control. Take a deep breath and discuss things reasonably and rationally with your husband, it will work itself out.

Ivory

Your family aren't the ones dying, go see the uncle. How would you feel if it was the other way around, your uncle was dying and your husbands family was planning on coming down. Wouldn't you get a little ticked that he wouldn't let you see your uncle one last time while he still has health in him?

Lisaâ™¥

While I can understand why you got upset, but this truely is a life or death decision to see him right? I mean, if he doesn't get that chance to see him one last time now will he have the time to go later...even though there might not be a later with his uncle? I'm sure your family will understand.

90304

Go visit the uncle.. Um.. he is dying.

I'm sure you can re-schedule your vacation.

kikio

Maybe your family could come with you to see his uncle. I assume by the frequency of the visits that your husband is close with this uncle or else he would not be spending every weekend traveling there. Maybe you and your family could go do with your husband to see his uncle and then come back and let your husband stay there awhile. Your husband is afraid his uncle is going to die and he will not have been there. I can understand you getting upset. This happens in my marriage sometimes and I have to grin and bear it. I think you should try to figure out how to incorporate your family in to the visit. If they are down for the entire week, one weekend is not going to hurt anyone, right?

oscar and Lauren F

This man has only two months to live. Do you have any family members that are terminally ill? Your family can come visit another time, they have the luxury of living to see tomorrow and so on. You need to be supportive of your husband right now. BTW, why do you not get to see your family if you all live in Texas?

cowgirl_723

I don't know what to say. I know he is hurting and maybe that is why he's not seeing your side of it. I believe that you will regret it if you don't go see the uncle and he passes away. I would just sit down with him and talk it out. Tell him how you feel and maybe he can see your side of it. Communication is the key!!!!!

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: