Betrayed my wife, what to do?

jude

u need to make her understand that u are fully aware that what u did hurt her. tell her she will see only good things from u in the future. ask to go to christian counseling, get god involved in it. if she is still refusing ask her not to do anything until she has given u a chance to show her how good it can be. than go to therapy on your own if she won't go. when u communicate with her, treat her as if u are really interested in everything she is saying, make her feel its safe to communicate anything to u without fear of anything. it may take time to achieve what u want, as betrayal is the worst hurt there is. remind her how u forgave her wrongs and let what she did go because u loved her and u would hope she could be equally as fair to u. don't let go until theres no hope left, or u find out she's seeing someone else. she can't take the kids far away from u, she's just hurt and emotionally upset right now.just ask her not to make any rash decisions right now while she is so hurt and upset, ask her to give it some time and thought, and base it on the years u were faithful, and things were good. tell her your sorry, let her vent all she wants.

BPTDVG

If you are a religious family, talk to your church leader.
This is going to be something that will take a long time for her to forgive, if she ever does.
If you can involve God, it will help, even if you still separate.

Just Tryin' to Help

Wow- if you were willing to work through it with her, she should do the same for you. Granted, two wrongs don't make a right... but keep it in your pants next time.

Have you suggested counseling?

Phil M

Did you ever stop and think that she waiting for you to do something like this so she could leave guilt free?

God Bless America!~

Let her know what you just said on here. tell her that you love her and ask for forgiveness. pray and have a long talk with her. i hope everything works out for both of you...god bless

?? yaddajean ??

I would try to fight for her, and let her no that when you got married it was for better or worse. Suggest going to counseling and doing what ever it takes to regain her trust back, and let her know that you are really deeply sorry, only if you really are. Part of apologizing is not to make the same mistake over again. So let her know that you aren't willing to give your family up, and that you want to make this work, no matter what, you are willing to do what ever it takes. Good luck and God bless. Now would be a really good time to call on your highet power too.

pitchingcoach

Everybody doesn't handle cheating the same. You got over it. She can't. I'm not sure why you so easily looked the other way though. Sorry for ya pal.

gogogadgetlonglegs

You made a choice, as did she, now you have to accept whatever the consequences are.

Messiahsking

Godly marriage counseling is my advise. You have apparently forgiven her of her betrayals and for her not to do the same is gutless. It doesn't take years to forgive just the willingness and love to do so. But realize that unless she forgives you, she may hold this over your head for years down the road. Get her to see a local Pastor or a marriage Counselor as soon as possible,. the lives of your Children may be shared with somene else and this is never a good thing...

Corona

Honestly, in most situations like this, the quicker you start acting like you don't give a crap if she is leaving or not, she will start having second thoughts. She may actually leave, then call you to yell at you, and if you just tell her, "whatever, you did it to me, just leave me alone" and hang up...man, she will be all over you! Right now, she is pissed, and rightfully so, but you know what...she did it to you and I doubt that she was sorry that she did it, just sorry that she got caught...huge difference. If you want this thing to work...tighten up your "man belt" and act like you don't give a crap. That seems to be the only thing that works...especially in women like her, that disrespect you by cheating and not expect it to happen back to them. Good luck.

Gorgeoustx Go Spurs Go!

You sound like a sincere man.

I hope you continue to fight for her and you can work this out.

You have my good thoughts.

Mashell W

BUT YOU DID, SO MAYBE YOU ARE JUST AFRAID OF LETTING GO OF THAT COMFORTABLE SHOE YOU HAVE HAD FOR SO LONG. BUT, YOU NEVER KNOW YOU MIGHT FIND A GOOD DEAL ON ANOTHER PAIR YOU'LL BE HAPPY WITH AND NEVER THROW AWAY!

gaillee01

Mike, I can see that you are truly seeking a solution to your marital situation. I am so sorry things have become so entangled but, we all can get into these situations all too easily. We do make mistakes, it is all about forgiveness!

Mike, do you pray? The one true thing which can give you wisdom in this is conversation with God! He already knows your situations and why. I would ask you to pour out to Him and let Him give you the wisdom you are now seeking.

I want you to know that I will be praying with you. Prayer is powerful and you need God, His wisdom and guidance. Please forgive me if I have offended you but, I am a straight talker and I KNOW GOD HEARS all PRAYERS!

gail

Shlane

i dont get it, why is she mad? she did it to you! sounds liek she's selfish to me.

~Baby D~

Fight for them & do whatever it takes. Just don't let go!

electroprayer

I would explain that you love her and the children, and that you are truly sorry. Ask her if she would consider counseling, and then do it. I will pray for guidance and restoration for the marriage.

â€ Prayer Warrior At Your Requestâ€

unknown

Even if it feels impossible...remember...all things are possible through Jesus Christ. God wants to restore your marriage with your wife, but both of you must be willing. Pray and ask God to heal your marriage and begin to seek Him and pray for your wife and kids. Also repent and ask God for forgiveness and cleanse you from all sin and unrighteousness, and "if" you ask God is faithful to cleanse you and forgive you of your sins. That's the first step. God loves you and He loves your family, but you have to put your trust in Him and seek Him for healing in your marriage. God Bless You and your family. I will keep you in prayer...

Come to a consensus with counceling and take it from there, were only human, we all make mistakes we regret and healing can happen if your willing to forgive and work to make your family strong again.

Jackie

It's hard to regain someone's trust again, especially when it comes to cheating on your spouse or partner. If it comes to the point of departing from each other, so be it. Try not to depart angry, it will only make matter worse, especially with the kids in the middle. Just do all you can to be there for her and the kids. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder and realize that the two of you need to be back together, but if not, then it probably wasn't right to begin with. You can maybe take her out for a nice quiet dinner to talk things over and go from there.

MEETOO

they is no need to hold on to broken items just let them fall and if there is anything good in them it can be repaired only time can tell but only God can put it together

tranquil

It seems that you still care about her, the relationship and the family.

Betrayal of trust is difficult as you yourself experienced. You need to ask for her apology. You need to humble yourself, frequently, and do your best to show to her that you have ended the other relationship and is now doing whatever it is in your ability to help keep this union intact.

You also need to let your children know how important they are and how much you care about them. When the infidelity was committed, the trust broken was not only your wife's but also your childrens'.

It's a difficult lesson but you might be able to pull through this.

Dee

As a women, I would be very pissed and I have told myself if I have ever caught my husabnd cheating, I would leave him in a heart beat.

Contine to communicate with her. Show her you are trying to do anything possible to make it work.

AJEMT

sounds like your wife is selfish and using your kids against you. you should not have cheated but niether should have she. a lot of women are like that they only see the mans wrongs and not there own.

Pretty

Why are cheating? did she not satisfy you? that's serves you right

here kitty kitty

at this point i don't think its a good idea to try and work things out.things well never be the same you and her will always have it in the back of your mind and that will cause fights. you have hear the saying once a cheat always a cheat and this is true. you may never do it again and she may never do it again but you will never believe each other . even if you say you do you don't... as for the kids do whats best for the kids if your not sure go to court give them your testimony and let the lord do the rest.

Serena

Take stock of your relationship. If you want to grow old and die with your current wife, ask her to reconsider and suggest counseling.

If you have been unhappy in the relationship for a long time and she is aware of that, go ahead and make plans to live on your own. If she wasn't willing to work on problems you had BEFORE you cheated, she'll be less likely to want to work on them now that she knows you cheated.

carmel

Are you truly sorry...I mean from the heart sorry, then you need to express that from your soul you made a awful mistake, and need her forgiveness, and this will never happen again. Let her know how much she and the kids mean to you, and that you stepped outside of the box in your marriage. Let her know that you are lost, and you would have never thought in a million years you could have done this to her. If she is worth it you just have to make her understand by showing her, being there, and always answer your cell phone. Communication is the key, and you have to do a lot of that in order... if ever to get back into her good graces, ...I do wish you the best, and as always pray for God to forgive you, and help you set your marriage straight.

Christina*

no offense, but u had it coming. my dad did the same thing, and now my parents are divorced, and i only live with my mom, and hardly ever see my dad. so, i'm not sure what you should do. but you should have thought about the consequences before you were cheating. Then maybe you would have not done it, and nothing bad would have happened in the first place. you shouldn't have done it. didn't you think about your kids? did you once think that not onlly would your wife be hurt, but also ur kids? ur kids are affected by it too. i was when i my dad cheated on my mom. you shouldn't have done it. it can destroy ur family. 50% of American families are destroyed my divorce.

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