Can Controlling partners get a sudden WAKE-UP call?

i dumped my controlling bf ( feeling very comfortable alone). we dated 4 yrs, he was stubborn bout his behavior. but now his gone as far as telling everyone ( family, friends) bout how he promises to change and he is admitting ALL the controlling things he did to me.
just wondering does a control freak actually come to admit his behavior and gradually change?
i know i've asked alot about this, but getting answers to my questions has made me strongers.

jude

yes i think someone like this has a good chance of changing especially if they have admitted their wrongs. but i would want to see proof first before i took then back because talk is cheap actions tell the whole story.

Linda T

The reality is most control freaks have good intentions and make promises but find it hard to change their old habits. He may want you back enough to change at first but after a while things will probably slide back to the bad old days. This guy could be one of the few to stick with new better habits, but I wouldn't risk it.

AmmoBride

The short answer is yes, control freaks CAN change, especially in the face of losing someone they love. However, you should be VERY careful if you want to let this person back into your life. You say that you feel very comfortable on your own, and that is wonderful! That's not something I would give up easily. If you want to "test drive" this guy, then do it slowly, letting him know that the first sign of controlling behavior, you're outta there.

I'm sure that losing you had a major effect on this guy. However, not all control freaks can change. The good news is that you are strong enough to walk away from that behavior if you have to. So, I say give the guy a chance! It sounds like you really care about him, so talk to him, and lay out the ground rules. If he's willing to accept your terms, that's a good sign too.

Take it in baby steps, and you'll know if he's changed for good. I hope that I have helped, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

siesteph

k, first of all

is he admitting 'truly' the things he's done to you?

cuz well, to me that's BIG
most control freaks won't admit TO ANYONE that they have a problem.......

admitting there's a problem is the first step to recovery in any situation (in my opinion)

if he's admitting that he has a control issue, then he's probably willing to 'fix' what he can to get you back

Good Luck
Stay Strong

:):)

Pixie48

All things are possible!

Yes, they can admit to their behavior, it's what their going to do about it is the "ice breaker". Has he gone for counseling, meeting with others in group counseling, etc..this would be very important to me.

Keep your freedom and allow him into your life at a distance. These would be your ground rules which you are entitled to. Best of luck!

Leah âœ°â˜…â˜†âœ°â˜…â˜†âœ°â˜… I rule

You are strongers.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: