Can I ever trust him again? Please answer. I need advice.?

my_min_tin

Did he say if he was going to truly stop this behavior?
In my opinion, he must have had a slight interest in
meeting other woman if he was sending his pics
over the net. YOu need to find out what is going on
with him, even if he had no intention on meeting these
girl, there is still no reason for him to show himself over
the webcam...Do you think he is looking for other female
attention? How long have you been together?
email me at my_min_tin@yahoo.com if you wanna
talk more

Broken Bella Â©

Whoa..I'd say go with your gut on that one.

Many of us here can give you advice on what to do and some advice might be great but the reality is we don't have to live, sleep, interact or trust this individual you do.

If you feel you can handle what he did and move passed it then stick by him go to counseling and hopefully have a great marriage and invite us all to your 50th. wedding anniversary.

If you feel in your gut that this will happen again counseling or not, anti-trust is very damaging to any relationship. True he screwed up that trust (speaking for myself I'd say it would be hard to trust him again, I feel I would always have that doubt if he was still doing those actions or worse) why in the hell did he feel the need to talk to someone else or show himself to anyone else.

But again your life, your thoughts, your feelings are what matter here...go with your gut, whatever you feel go with that, you know him better then we do, and you know what you can and cannot live with.

Cup of Joe

NO. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He has a problem if his playing with girls on the internet instead of the girl right in front of him. You are better than that. There are plenty of guys out there. You are too good for this one. Next thing you know, he will be on to catch a predator. Better to deal with it now, than after you are married. It may take a while to get over, but just know that you are worthy of a good guy. Have confidence in yourself.

sofar

ask him how he would fill if you did the same thing on the web cam. I bet you he would not like it. and then you will know your own answer.

Jazzy, I Miss U Love!

You probably will never trust him 100% again. It's up to you whether you want to stay with him or move on with your life. Trust is something very hard to get back once it has been lost.

Good Luck!!

kitty

IF HE HAD NO INTENTION OF MEETING THESE GIRLS WHY WAS HE SHOWING HIMSELF ON LINE TO THESE GIRLS WHEN HE'S GOT YOU AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARRING YOU???????????I DON'T BLAME YOU I WOULD BE UPSET TOO YOU BETTER THINK THIS THROUGH THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE YOU BETTER RETHINK THIS IF IT WERE ME I WOULDN'T BUT UP WITH IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE'S READY????????? YOU BETTER PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TELL HIM A THINK OR 2 JUST HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR?????????? AT LEAST YOU FOUND OUT HOW HE'S LIKE BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED SORRY I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST FOR YOU..................BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED YOU SHOULD HAVE TRUST IF YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM DON'T MARRY HIM IT'S ONE THING IF YOU KNOW ABOUT IT AND MAYBE THESE ARE SOME PEOPLE HE KNEW WHEN HE WAS GROWING UP BUT IT'S NOT HE IS EXPLODING HIM SELF TO THESE OTHER WOMAN AND I THIN HE DOS WHAT TO MEET THEM MOVE ON A FIND A NEW MAN HE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE YOUR TIME IS PRECIOUS THERE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE SEA HE'S NOT THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD DON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU THIS IS DIS- RESPECTFUL TO YOU HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU THERE IS A MAN OUT THERE JUST LET HIM FIND YOU

Mary Laurita

No, don't even bother, if he does this to you now before marriage, then he will probably only do worse things later. If he has started, it is just a rolling ball of snow. Maybe he can promise you he will change and will show it for months or maybe a year until you fall and change your mind. But only it is a question of time and he will be back to old habits very soon.
There are way too many fish out in the sea to put up with something like that. You don't want this weight of not trusting your partner the rest of your life.

fire_inur_eyes

HEY YOU--snap out of it. have some self respect ---this guy is a creep--an immature, lying, disrespectful, uncaring man. He is dangerous and a waste of your time. A counselor??? Why??? Just dump him and find a real honest hard working man who will appreciate knowing you and will bring you true happiness. You can't and you never will trust this loser--so why be miserable?? Life has no promises--you will have disappointments all the time--why the depression??? Just Move on--you can't do anything but keep trying. You were lucky to find out now--pack up and move--relax--have some fun--meet a few new guys and you will find one that is right for you. There is NO reason to stay--or even try counseling--women are treated like the guilty party anyway--like the man can do some cheating--and you have to let him---NOPE--cheats are losers and not worth your time. Tell him to pack up--or you pack up---someone has to go-it is over. Just don't blame yourself--that's life...NEVER accept second best--only go with real men who treat women with respect and dignity and integrity---- Stand tall--have some self confidense--smile and good luck.

zenthil

try observing him more.here no one can decide with the information you provided.and i think that is not a problem .it is very common.

Alex S

Well,i have had a similar problem,and i ended up forgiving him,but i don't think i can ever forget.Counseling sounds good,see what he does and how he acts around you after counseling.
Good luck,keep your chin up

Don

If he is sorry and willing to change as well as be honest with the counselor then you might have a chance. His life should be an open book from this point forward. He should agree to stop doing this and be totally open to everything he is doing on line. Maybe eventually he will earn your trust.

Christie

He might SAY he has no intention of meeting these girls, and he might even believe that right now, but that's what is going to eventually happen.

Sweetie, if he's cheating on you before the wedding, come on! He'll never be faitfhful to you!

MARiE BELLA

dump him. if he's doing this to you now, imagine what he will do when you guys are married?

ob13

Hey grl,...Just put the shoe on the other foor .....what if guys were sending you pics and you were get "n all lathered up and showing yourself nude on the web cam......think about it ??!!!!

what kinda person are you then ....and could you even trust your self?

marraige might be there for .......you .......but he certainly is NOT ready .

Royalhinney

Oh, why on earth would you want to still marry this man?? He is showing you who he is and who he will be years from now. Counseling will not change his character. Rethink the marriage thing.

Proud Momma

In my experience, once trust is broken, it is never fully recovered. And if you can not trust your partner 100%, it's time to move on.

salh_05

I know that would hurt, but if you live together give him rules to earn your trust back.... do away with the Internet, and let him know that it was completely unacceptable and you need him to help you trust him if he wants to marry you!!! I would tell him the next time You catch him on line chatting it would be over completely and maybe that will make him realize how close he is to pushing you too far!!
good luck!

mrs sexy pants

I believe that counseling is for people are in a committed relationship, like marriage. For people who are simply dating, I think it's futile. Even if he wasn't planning on meeting any of THESE girls, it doesn't mean he's not meeting w/ other girls he meets along the way, in person, say at the bar, grocery store, or anywhere else ... Men who are committed & love someone don't do these sort of things.

Whether you may ever trust him, well, certainly that's up to you, and it would take time, but I wouldn't waste mine. And people who "plan on getting married in the future" usually don't. Either you're getting married, or you're not. If you love someone & know that you want to spend the rest of your life w/ someone, then you do it ... you don't postpone it to some unknown future date!

I wish you the best.

mel d

Well if i were you i would leave him alone because he's going to do it again i always say once a cheat always a cheat. If u feel that you cant no longer trust him u should just let him go because constantly thinking about it will just stress you out more. Please don't ever believe the fact that he was just talking to other females on the Internet on a friendship level it had to be more then that for them to be sharing pics

stevesherri

RED FLAG!
i'm glad you are going to counceling... his behavior is out of line and disrespectful. he has no plans to ever meet them? he already has!!! just like you and i have! there is the connection and its been made.
be cautious of him and good luck in counceling!

EmmaNicole

wait for the counseling and really listen when you are there and then make your decision

Ellyn

I don't trust him. Why is he doing that to you?
Don't you think you deserve better than that?

timssterling

I would imagine the counselling will help. I dont know if I would ever trust him myself though.

bettercockster2

No, there is no way to get over it quicker. SOme things you just have to be disciplined and muscle themout.

Sal SR

When both of you are planning marriage, it means both of you have to be ready to commit to each other in mind, heart and soul. It looked like he was not ready since he was chatting and exchanging pictures with girls.

Did he admit what he did was not right and being unfair to you? If yes, then go for counseling and get help. Both of you will be more sure of yourselves before taking the plunge into marriage.

Cheer up... you will be ok. This is part of life, we learn to deal with relationship problems as we take on life journey. That is how we build our relationship on rocks and not on sand. A relationship is not given ... it is for both of you to put in efforts and and be responsible to make it a happy successful one.

Love is patient,
love is kind,
love does not envy,
(love does) not boast,
(love is) not proud,
(love is) not disgraceful,
(love does) not desire its own (way),
(love is) not provoked,
(love does) not reckon the wrong,
(love does) not rejoice at unrighteousness
but (love) rejoices with the truth:

(love) bears all things,
(love) believes all things,
(love) hopes all things,
(love) endures all things.

conductorbrat

Your man is cheating on you. He is not going to stop cheating, either. Take it from an older woman -- you can do NOTHING to change a man. You either have to take him as he is (cheating on you) or move on. My advice would be to move on. There is always another guy, and you may find one who respects you and would never dream of doing what the current guy is doing. (I found one of those!) Find yourself another guy, and state your boundaries up front. That way, if he is not capable of being faithful, it will come out early before he hurts you terribly.

smallcola642

I've been in a similar situation; I was in a relationship with a guy for over a year when I found logs of him chatting with girls online, telling them he was single and into hockey and other sports (which neither is/was true). I also found a photograph of a naked girl in his room once. Needless to say, he and I aren't together anymore, but for different reasons. I didn't trust him fully to begin with, but the picture and the messages were the deal breaker, I could never forgive him because my heart kept telling me he was lying and had every intention to continue with these kinds of actions.
It's truly a personal decision; trust your heart, not what he tells you or some counselor tries to make you believe. It's not a matter of whether your relationship is strong enough to withhold this kind of situation, but rather what you're willing to put up with. If you truly feel betrayed and don't know how to forgive him and you've tried everything you can, then my best advice would be to start looking elsewhere. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding someone that would treat you the way you're MEANT to be treated.
If you do find it in your heart to forgive him and can truly let this go, then go for it. Every really good relationship has it's bumps in the roads, and if you guys can truly overcome it together, then more power to you.
Like I said, it's a personal choice. Follow your heart.

Best of luck.

sillerious

this isnt good. you have to start counseling before it even starts between the two of you? i cant see why anyone has the need to seek this kind of attention. anyways, you may have to be ready for a long bumpy road with him.

lilstuff456

I can see where your coming from. Personally i think its like cheating. Trust is not someting to be thrown about. Tell him that your upset and that you dont want him doing it again. And then its up to him to try and make you trust him again.
Good Luck

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